


Satisfaction

by Deck Divination (astralpath)



Series: The Enduring Flame [1]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Childhood, Flashbacks, M/M, Nazca - Freeform, Roadtrip, Romance, Satellite - 5D's, Sea Voyage, Spoilers, Team Satisfaction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-16 22:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 49,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2286657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralpath/pseuds/Deck%20Divination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the WRGP in hiatus for repairs, Jack must find a new way of fighting. His search takes him to Nazca and Yusei comes along. But why is it that Yusei keeps dredging up the past?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> This story, originally published between 2011/11/26 and 2012/2/5, was my first published fanfic. It's still my most popular 5D's story. 
> 
> Minor corrections and improvements to flow have been made throughout. If I make any major changes, I'll mention them in the notes.
> 
> This story takes place around episodes 111 through 113 (the Nazca/Crimson Devil arc, not part of the 4Kids version), starting slightly before that period, and includes many flashbacks to pre-canon time periods. Much poetic license (and hopping about, timewise) is taken. ;)
> 
> In addition to the main relationship, there is some Yusei/Aki, a little Jack/Carly, and some one-sided Jack/Crow. I didn't want to highlight these because they really aren't major parts of the story. (And, of course, there is one-sided Mikage/Jack and Stephanie/Jack in the background, but that's to be expected, no?)
> 
>  **Warnings:**
> 
> 1) The "Did not choose to use Archive Warnings" is because of some pretty minor stuff (in my opinion). But if I want to be technical, I can't say no warnings apply.
> 
> 2) Beware of **_SPOILERS_** throughout. This story follows canon (although some of the canon was left out of the 4Kids version).
> 
> 3) Finally, there is profanity throughout, so if you're sensitive to that sort of thing, please be aware of this.

“What's that?”

“What's what?”

“That mark. On your arm.”

“It's a birthmark. I was born with it. I think.” The boy, who had been sitting, head down, staring at the cards in his hands, now looked up and pierced Yusei's eyes with his aggressive, violet gaze. “Want to make something of it?”

“No, it's cool. Looks like an arrow … or wings, or something.” He sat down next to the boy. “Martha said that you're Jack and to ask you to show me around. I'm Yusei.”

The boy sighed. “Me? There are a lot of boys who'd be better at that.” He looked toward the house speculatively.

“You don't wanna do it?”

“Nah, it's OK.” He gathered his cards, wrapped them carefully in a clean rag, and put them in his pocket. Then he stood up. Yusei realized then just how tall the boy was, even for his age.

“What're those?” asked Yusei.

“They're fighting cards,” he said. “You duel with them. Haven't you ever seen any before?” Jack started walking, then turned. “You like fighting, don't you?”

“I fight when I have to …” he said, uncertainly.

“Huh. Martha's already shown you around the house and where you'll be sleeping, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“Good. Then I'll show you around the neighborhood.”

Jack stalked off without looking back, leaving Yusei to scramble after him.

_What is it with this kid?_

Yusei had banged around all his life, as long as he could remember, from one orphanage to another, and now he had landed here. Martha seemed pretty nice, but what he really wanted was a friend, someone he could rely on … and who did Martha have show him around? This guy. It was hard enough for Yusei. He wasn't normally the most talkative boy around and he was really making an effort. This Jack kid wasn't helping him out any. As he hurried to catch up, he realized that the kid was probably the prettiest child he'd ever seen, male or female, with that blond hair and those amethyst eyes of his—weird birthmark notwithstanding. But he had this manner about him, a kind of aloofness. Neither of these things made it any easier to talk to the kid or feel at ease with him.

Jack marched along a street to a huge dump, and Yusei couldn't help noticing again that he strode along as though he owned the place, not like some vagrant kid. “This is the best dump in the district for cards,” he said. “Come take a look!”

With that, Jack began clambering over the ruins like a mountain goat—a stately one. “You're not going to find the best stuff at the edge. That's been picked over. You have to go at least a little way in.”

Yusei decided the only thing to do was to follow him. Besides, it was probably the most fun he would have today. Even if he didn't like this game—whatever it is—he could give what he found to Jack, which would make him happy. Win-win.

Jack showed him exactly what he was looking for, the shape and size, the color of the back. Apparently each kind of card had its own color coding. Actually, Yusei thought, the game looked kind of intriguing, just like Jack himself. Not an ordinary game, just like Jack wasn't an ordinary kid.

Maybe it would be worth the effort after all.

A lot of the junk was just that, junk. There were a few bits and pieces of machinery thrown in that Yusei couldn't resist stuffing in his pockets (“What do you want with that?” Jack had demanded), but no cards. Just when he was beginning to feel like a failure, glancing furtively at Jack's haul of three or four cards, he spotted one caught beneath a broken pallet. “Got one!” he said happily, checking it out.

“Let me see,” Jack said, coming over.

“Scrap-Iron Scarecrow,” Yusei read off the card, then handed it to Jack.

He looked at it seriously. “That's a good one,” he said. “You can nullify one attack per turn, and then reset it.”

“Is that good?”

“That's very useful. You can use it over and over.” He started to hand the card back.

“Uh, do you want it? I mean, I wouldn't do this all the time, but you're going to the trouble of showing me around and all—”

“No, that wouldn't be right,” Jack said with finality. “Cards come to the duelist, right? If this card belonged with me, I would have found it. It came to you, so it belongs with you.”

Jack grabbed Yusei's hand and put Scrap-Iron Scarecrow into it as if to make his point. Jack's hand was warm, contrasting with his seeming aloofness. But now that they were talking about cards, he didn't seem quite so unreachable.

“Besides, it's your first card!”

Afterward, Jack led Yusei to the water's edge, away from the busy pier. “This is a place where people don't come as much,” he said. “I like it because there's no one to hassle me.”

Yusei was starting to get the idea that Jack was a kid who liked—no, needed—his time alone. Yusei found himself beginning to feel a little privileged to be tagging along.

Jack turned around and shot Yusei a serious look. “So don't go bringing a lot of riffraff here, I'm warning you. You ruin this place for me and I'll take it out of your hide.”

“Uh, point taken,” he said. But why bring someone else when he could keep Jack to himself? He was beginning to want Jack for the best friend he'd been yearning for … strange, combative, and aloof as he was, he was also, well, kind of awesome.

But Jack was already climbing the crumbling ruins of a destroyed building to look across the bay toward the main city. “You know what that is, don't you?” he said.

“Neo Domino City.”

“I'm going there someday.”

“Really? How're you going to do that?”

“Don't know. Don't care. But someday I'm going to get out of here.”

People never talked seriously about leaving Satellite. Those who tried wound up in the Facility with tracker marks on their faces. Yusei almost laughed, but then caught the look of determination on Jack's face. Finally he said, “So, if you got out there, what would you do there?”

Jack gave Yusei a side-long confidential look and said, with a large, confident smile, “I'll become King, of course.”

“King? But they don't have kings any more. Don't you know that?”

His smile just became larger and more confident as he looked back over the bay. “That's their loss. I'll find a way.”

And just then, at that moment, Yusei thought that this kid that he just met looked more like a king than any adult he'd ever met. More confident, more assured, more determined … more _real_ … than any other _person_ he'd ever met.

Yusei smiled back at Jack and said, “I don't know how you're going to do it, Jack, but …” he shrugged. “Somehow I want to help all of a sudden.”

Jack laughed at that and clambered down the pile of rubble. “Maybe it's not so bad having you along after all,” he admitted. He led Yusei down through a hanging brick archway into the remains of a concrete basement. “This place isn't a bad spot to hang,” he said, plopping down on the remains of an old, beat-up sofa he'd dragged in, and went on without pausing. “You know what I said? About leaving? About really becoming a king? If you tell anyone about that—”

“No, of course not—”

“You see, I'm always play-acting like I'm a king, and I get teased enough about that. If they thought I was really serious about it …”

“Jack, they tease you because they don't have any great dreams of their own.”

He had said it to make Jack feel better, but as he was saying it, he realized it was true. They teased Jack because they all envied him and wished they were more like him: more handsome, more full of hope, more determined, more courageous, more … _more_.

More than that, he realized that Jack had already shared a secret. With him, the new kid. Was it inadvertent, or was he already trusted? In any case, he would have to earn that trust.

But Yusei needed to pay attention to their conversation because Jack was staring at him like he'd never seen anything like him before. “Are you OK?” Yusei asked.

“Yeah …” he said. “I just … you really think so?”

“What?”

“That the other kids … they make fun of me because … they … they envy me?”

Yusei thought about it hard. Was he trying to flatter Jack? Was it because he was impressed with him and wanted to be friends with him? But then he thought that part of the reason he wanted Jack for his friend so badly was that quality, that he was capable of creating and holding on so tightly to such huge dreams. In a way, it was a simple dream, but weren't the biggest dreams—the truest dreams—the simplest ones? He said slowly and seriously, “I'm pretty sure that's the reason.”

“Thanks. That makes it easier. To ignore them,” he said.

Jack continued to show him the neighborhood, which he apparently knew in excruciatingly intimate detail, as only a child can. When the light took an orange tinge and the shadows grew long, Jack suddenly said, “Shit! We're late! Sorry, Yusei, I shouldn't have dragged it out on your first day like this.”

They got nearer to the dump on the other side and Jack seemed to get a little hyper-aware and jumpy. “Is everything OK?” Yusei asked. Even though they were in a hurry, Jack had slowed as he kept looking around into each doorway and shadow. Now, as they began passing the dump, Yusei knew that he wasn't imagining things because Jack was actively scanning the piles of trash.

“So far …” he said distantly.

But at that moment, a rather seedy-looking man jumped out in front of them. “Hello, Jack,” he said in tones meant to sound friendly, but that had a hard under-tone, “didn't I tell you that I'd be looking forward to seeing you again? Who's your friend?”

Jack ignored him and made as though to walk around him. Yusei tried to pretend the man didn't exist and stuck close to Jack's heels. The man had to start moving to keep up. “Now, that's not very polite,” he said, his tone starting to change. “You know, I brought some friends of my own this time. A pretty thing like you shouldn't go around without protection, you know …” the man's voice was getting positively angry now “… you could get hurt.”

“Run.” It was Jack. He was speaking in a low, conversational tone, so at first Yusei couldn't figure out what he meant, but then he said, repeated “Run … Run. Run— _now!_ ” Suddenly, Yusei's feet seemed to know what to do and he took off running.

Half a block later, he realized that Jack had been caught … or had he let himself be caught to give Yusei a chance to escape? In any case, Yusei looked back to see that Jack was fighting off a couple of full-grown men.

“ _Not the face!_ ” yelled the man who had accosted Jack. The man had stepped well out of the fray and was simply looking on, directing the action.

Jack was fighting valiantly, but it looked like a losing endeavor. “I'll hit where I want to,” growled one of the men. “This kid fights dirty.”

_I can't just leave him._

Jack was already his friend … and, besides, didn't they have a pile of weapons sitting right here? Jack didn't have time to get to any, but he …

Yusei clambered up onto the dump. They'll never catch me here, anyway, he thought as he reached for something small and hard. He aimed for the largest guy's head.

_Smack!_

“What the—!” He dropped Jack.

Immediately, Yusei hit the other guy and Jack took off.

“ _I'll get you_ —” the man was yelling, but Yusei had joined Jack and the cries were fading into the twilight.

“Why didn't you tell me about him?”

“Eh, he's an annoyance. They're all over Satellite.” Jack was panting lightly. “'Sides, he's after me, not you.”

“But we could have planned something!”

“You mean, avoid fighting? But that's half the fun!” Jack grinned.

Yusei took a good look at him. The men really had tried to avoid hitting him in the face, but he still had a scratch on his chin. No doubt he had bruises all over. He shook his head. “You're just … _strange_ , Jack,” he said.

“And what does that make you?” Jack asked.


	2. A Party

After the battle royale, 5D's decided to throw a party. Sherry said things were much too serious for celebrating, but Crow insisted, on the grounds that the fact that they were still alive and fighting was plenty of reason to celebrate. Sherry claimed that she disapproved, but showed up, nevertheless.

Carly appeared, camera, recorder, and notebook at the ready. 5D's had promised full access for interviews about the turn of events in the tournament. The party went on with Carly's interviews sprinkled in the background conversation.

Jack, as much as he enjoyed making an entrance and being the center of attention, tended to gravitate to the edges of these affairs once the spotlight was off of him. Yusei suspected that it was his complete lack of patience with small talk. Not much of a party person himself, Yusei tended to enjoy watching others and joining in the conversation as invited. He grabbed a couple of beers and wandered over to where Jack was standing.

Smiling, he handed Jack a beer and said, “Look at the twins. They seem to be having fun.”

At the moment, they were engaged in lively conversation with Crow. “It's good for them to get their minds off of what's ahead.” Jack frowned. “Children shouldn't be forced to face this sort of thing.”

“As I recall, you would have dived in head-first.”

“ _I_ was no ordinary child.”

“Conceded.”

After a few minutes, Yusei said, “You seem a little preoccupied. I know you're not the liveliest party-goer, but …”

“I don't have time to waste. I need to come up with a new way of fighting.”

_Oh. That._ “Take some time off, Jack. You'll never get a breakthrough if you don't give your brain some rest to put things together. Why not enjoy the evening? Talk with all your friends? I know Rua would love it if you took him aside and talked over _his_ dueling strategy for a few minutes.”

“Why would he want to talk to me about that? _You're_ the champion.”

“Jack … Just because you had a difficult duel doesn't make you a bad duelist. It's just … You know Rua still idolizes you.”

“First, who says I'm a bad duelist? But Rua sees you as a great friend as well as a great duelist. I'm sorry, Yusei, it's not going to work on me. Not tonight.”

So appealing to Jack's vanity wasn't going to work? Usually it was a sure-fire way to lift his spirits. Yusei could tell he was going to have to help his friend out with this conundrum somehow. It would be bad to have him like this because he was needed for the fight ahead—he was the strongest duelist in 5D's besides himself—and even if that weren't the case, what would Jack do if he couldn't see himself as a strong duelist? That was the only yardstick he'd ever measured himself by.

They stood together in comfortable silence for a few minutes, finishing off their beers. Yusei asked Jack if he'd like another.

“No … uh, Yusei, you're not … you're planning on going easy, right?”

Yusei was surprised. Jack usually didn't seem to care what anyone else did. “No. You know, clear mind and all. I want to be ready. But why are you so interested?”

“No reason, really. Just …” He frowned a little. “Remember … the sake?”

Right … the time he got drunk. “You never _did_ tell me what happened.”

“Just … you're a sad drunk. It might be … embarrassing with some of the people here.”

Yusei slapped Jack on the shoulder and said, “Don't worry about it. I'm going to be fine.”

As Yusei headed back toward the refreshment table, he looked back at Jack quizzically, wondering if he'd ever spill about that night. What could he have done to …? For a split second he had a horrifying thought. _It couldn't have been—!_ But, looking at Jack, leaning placidly against the wall, his arms folded and his long legs crossed at the ankle, he realized it must have been some other thing. He must have spilled some old woe onto his friend's shoulders. Getting weepy with Jack would have been embarrassing enough for him.

Meanwhile, Carly had slowly worked her way through the party, talking with everybody in turn, leaving only Jack Atlas … whom, of course, she was saving as her last interview. She looked toward it with both anticipation and trepidation because she had some questions she wanted to ask that she didn't plan to incorporate into her article at all.

At last, Carly approached Jack, who was now chatting with Yusei and Sherry about the duel with Team Unicorn. “Do you have a few minutes?” she asked. Jack nodded, and she asked, “Would it be alright if we went somewhere a little less noisy? There are a few questions that are a little more in-depth …”

“How about the cafe?” Jack nodded across the street.

“That would work,” Carly said uncertainly, thinking about that waitress, Stephanie, who was always hanging around Jack. “I'll even spring for the tea.”

Carly asked Jack about the team's preparations, about the different roles of team members, how they felt about the competition, and soon Jack was relaxed, happily talking about D-wheels, and—speaking in generalities so as not to reveal anything crucial—strategy. Carly was happy to see that it was boring—and nonthreatening enough—to keep Stephanie from hovering too much.

With Stephanie safely stashed in the back somewhere, Carly glanced about to make sure that no one seemed to be listening too closely and asked, “Do you mind if I ask you something off the record?”

Jack looked a little surprised and, Carly thought, perhaps a little wariness crept into the back of his gorgeous violet eyes, but he said noncommittally, “You can ask.”

“Remember after you beat Mr Godwin? You disappeared for quite a while, and I wanted … I'd hoped … to ask you …” Carly stammered. Why was she having so much trouble asking him? Easy, because it was difficult to ask Jack anything. He'd always seemed a little distant, but then, when she was lucky enough to get to spend any time with him, he always seemed to have something on his mind.

Jack responded to this opening by frowning into his tea as he waited for her to finish, which only made her more nervous, but Carly forced herself to go on. “… You may have heard that I don't remember what happened, but Akiza and Mikage told me that I was a Dark Signer! I asked what happened, but Akiza said that you dueled me and nobody else was there. So …” she glanced at Jack, only to see him continuing to stare into his tea. “So, since I can't remember anything, only you can tell me what happened.”

Without looking up, Jack set his cup down and said, “What about the other Dark Signers?”

“I spoke to Misty, but … but she wasn't much help.” It was true Misty was quite nice, and wanted to stay friends, but she really didn't want to talk about what happened at all … maybe because she _did_ remember it.

Slowly leaning forward, Jack placed his palms on the table and seemingly forced himself to look Carly in the eyes. She couldn't help thinking how much she'd love to forget all about her questions and just get lost in his violet gaze, but she forced herself to pay attention as he said, “Have you considered that you're more fortunate than Misty? Look at what happened to everyone who became Dark Signers. They became warped, manipulated into doing things that they'd never have done before that happened to them. The Darkness took what was best in them and twisted it for its own … base purposes. Believe me, you're better off not remembering. You don't _want_ to know how you felt, what you did, what you tried to do. It's far too painful.”

For a moment, watching his face twist in anguish, Carly glimpsed that pain in the depths of Jack's eyes and she wanted to reach for him, but he leaned back in his chair, emptying his cup. “It was painful enough for _us_ , and we were on the right side.”

Carly fidgeted for a moment, thinking. No, there was no way Jack was going to talk about it, and she'd already quizzed the rest of 5D's a long time ago. He hadn't spilled to anyone. Whatever happened, he was keeping it to himself. And he didn't look too happy about it. She decided she should change the subject. “Is there anything else you want to tell your fans before the WRGP continues?”

Jack looked at her sharply, then relaxed. _Did he think I was making fun of him?_ she wondered. “No, I think the interview ended a couple of questions ago.”

Carly felt a wave of despair wash over her as the gulf between her and Jack seemed to grow wider than ever. _I_ know _there's something between us!_ she thought. But Jack had never seemed so distant. “I guess you're right,” she said meekly. “Thanks so much for meeting with me. I'll let you know if I have follow-up questions.”

Jack walked Carly to her car in gallant silence, he moody, she nervous and guilty. _I've upset him_ , she thought.

**Chapter notes ...**

Does this sound like Jack/Carly right now? However, I'm sticking close to canon and certain questions beg answers. Actually, the last part of this section started as an attempt at a Jack/Carly story (that didn't work out) before it got folded into this effort.


	3. I Want to Know

While Carly was interviewing Jack at the cafe, Akiza approached Yusei hesitantly at the party. Did she really want to bring this up? After all, Yusei always made time for her whenever she needed it. But that was the thing.

He made time for her when she needed him.

He didn't make excuses to see her. He didn't find ways to include her in 5D's activities. She looked for ways to include herself. She liked to think he was being considerate of her and thinking of her school obligations, but she had a sneaking suspicion that she was only kidding herself.

All she had to do was look around. Yusei was always most concerned with the friend who needed him the most, or the cause that would help the most people. And now she was doing fine on her own—more or less … Her relationship with her parents had been repaired, thanks to Yusei, but …

His attention was drifting away. Yliaster consumed him. That and his most important friendship, that bromance between the three of them, Yusei, Crow, and Jack.

Especially Jack.

She didn't like to admit it, but there was something about that friendship. Was it simply that it was Yusei's oldest? Or that it had gone through such a rocky period? Or that Jack was also his most important dueling rival?

Even after becoming a riding duelist, she still couldn't quite comprehend it, but the more she thought about it, the more jealous she became. She couldn't seem to help herself.

She picked up two glasses of punch and walked over to Yusei, smiling. “Can I ask you something?”

“Huh. Sounds serious. Go right ahead.”

_Serious?_ She had tried so hard to conceal it. She let her smile wane a little. “No, not really, but—and I'm not really sure how to begin, but what is it between you and Jack? When we first met, you seemed to hate each other, but you're so close, now. I see such trust between the two of you.” She realized that she had a perfect example. “When you were dueling Team Unicorn, _he_ showed up, and your resolve strengthened. I could see it.”

Yusei continued to look her in the eye, but a tinge of color rose to his cheeks. “I—I guess I was impressed by his sacrifice.” Yusei slowly turned his head, as though unwillingly, to look in the direction of the coffee shop across the street where Carly was interviewing Jack, even though he couldn't see them. “He always puts everything he has into a duel, body, mind, and soul, win or lose. I might be able to beat him, but I'm not sure that I can equal that. He's … a _warrior_ , the perfect duelist.”

Yusei paused a moment, thinking. “That's true, but even more than that … I guess we've known each other so long that I can feel that thing about him. That _aura_. So, when he returned … I—I just sort of _knew_ he was there. It was like I was drawing on his strength of resolve, I guess.”

_Is that what draws people to Jack so?_

“The perfect duelist,” she echoed. “But, Yusei, I don't understand. You beat him.”

“That hasn't always been the case … and, eventually, I think he'll beat me again, when he's fully regained his confidence—or maybe a little after that.” Yusei smiled. “If I'm lucky, that is. After all, I have other things in my life, and I think, once all this is over, I'll want to focus on other things. Engineering. Friends. Staying at the top of your game takes a certain type of person.”

“A person like Jack.”

“A warrior. Someone who's willing to put it all on the line, every time. Most people just can't keep that up for very long. But Jack …”

“Jack's different.” She had to admit that she had envied Jack's focus. But wasn't Yusei able to muster a laser-like concentration? “But, Yusei, you—”

“Maybe, for now,” he allowed. “I have the motivation now. But, will it last? I really don't think so.”

“And that makes …”

“Jack has the heart, Aki. He has something I can't touch.”

“And he fascinates you.”

“Where are you going with this, anyway? You're not … _jealous_ , are you? Of Jack? He's a friend, but—”

“He's more than a friend, you as much as said it. Crow too, for that matter.”

“Aki,we've been friends since childhood. The circumstances …”

“I know. _I know!_ I can't understand what it was like in Satellite. But you somehow understood what it was like for me, growing up. Yusei, you tend to keep things to yourself. I wish you could open up a little too. It seems so difficult to get you to say even this much about Jack, but I … I want to understand _you_. Can't you try to tell me?”

Yusei looked at her serious face and wondered where he'd even start. Was it possible for her to even understand what it was like to exist in such a barren world and have a light like Jack walk into it? Aki just never seemed to truly appreciate Jack. He looked around, thinking that the conversation was getting far too heavy for the situation.

“Don't worry, Yusei, the party's started breaking up,” Aki said, as though catching his thought.

Bruno had apparently volunteered to ferry the twins home and was heading for the door. “Bye, Yusei!” they called in bright unison. “Bye, Aki! See you at school!”

Yusei waved to them, hoping that his expression was light and happy.

Sherry cruised by and said, “Yusei, I was hoping to get a word, but some other time, perhaps. It was a nice party. I take it back. It was rather good to have a refresher before the next round.”

“Thanks, Sherry. Take it easy, promise?”

“No promises, Yusei. You know me.”

“See?” Aki said. “But we can take this to a more private location if you like.”

“No, it's OK, Aki. Satellite …” He thought again, perplexed. “Well, you saw what it was like. Imagine growing up—”

His sentence was cut short as Jack Atlas suddenly re-entered Poppo Time, obviously in a foul mood. He seemed unable to stand still, and headed immediately for the Wheel of Fortune.

“Jack … ?” Yusei began.

Jack ignored this and simply stepped aboard the Wheel of Fortune and left without a word.

Yusei looked at Akiza in strained anguish.

She shrugged in exasperation. “Go ahead.”

There was no time to waste. He sprinted for his own D-wheel.

“What was that all about?” asked Crow, exchanging a befuddled look with Yusei as he passed by. “Carly couldn't upset him like that, could she?”

“I don't see how,” he said, getting on his D-wheel. “But I'm not hanging around here speculating.”

“Want me to come?” Crow called as Yusei rolled out of the garage.

“Nah!” he called back. “I'll let you know what happens.”

Crow figured that was for the best. He tended to put Jack on the defensive, and if Jack was already on edge that was _not_ going to help. Yusei was the one who fixed things; _he_ was going to have to work on Jack … again.

Fortunately, Yusei had an idea which direction Jack had headed, so it wasn't long before he caught sight of him. But, _damn_ , he was moving. It wasn't going to be easy to catch up. _Fine_ , Yusei thought, _let him get some of whatever it is out of his system. I just hope I can keep up with him._

Yusei didn't want to disturb Jack too much, so he attempted to keep parallel and back far enough so that he wouldn't be noticed. It wasn't too long before Jack pulled over near a deserted strand. He took off his helmet and casually walked past some shrubbery, where he disappeared. Yusei hurriedly parked, took off his own helmet, and started after Jack at a trot. When he got to the shrubbery, a large hand darted out and gripped his wrist.

“You don't imagine that I didn't see you, do you?” Jack asked, letting go.

“I guess I don't,” he said.

“So what do you mean by following me?”

“You seemed a little upset when you popped in, so I thought I'd see if you wanted to talk.”

“If I wanted to talk, wouldn't I have said, 'Yusei, I want to talk to you' instead of leaving?”

Yusei smiled. _Sometimes talking wasn't really the way he communicated_. “Do you want to hit something? Or someone?”

Jack's hand darted out again, this time to grasp a handful of jacket. He yanked Yusei toward him, scowling. “If only it were that easy,” he said, and dropped Yusei as swiftly as he pounced on him. Then he turned on his heel and strode out onto the strand.

But Yusei wasn't giving up so easily. He followed, trying a new tack. “Obviously, that interview didn't sit well with you. But I can't imagine Carly upsetting you on purpose—” that girl worshiped the ground Jack walked on “—so what could she possibly have brought up?”

Jack had stopped at the water's edge and stared out over the water silently.

Yusei examined Jack's expression closely and pressed on. “Let's see. There's the WRGP, our preparations, teamwork … surely it can't be about your spats with Crow … no … and she's already reported on your doppelganger. It's not about the WRGP at all, is it?”

_Score_.

He saw Jack cringe, ever so slightly. “That's it, isn't it? So what did she bring up? It has to be from before.” He considered, beginning to pace slowly behind Jack. “Well, obviously, there has to be something between you and Carly, or else why would she have been chosen as a Dark Signer? That's the reason they chose Kiryu … and Misty. But—”

Jack turned and grabbed Yusei's lapel again, this time more roughly, lifting him off his feet. “Stop speculating right now or I _will_ take a swing at you,” he said in a low, hoarse voice. This time, he tossed Yusei back. “She asked me about what happened to her, that's what. When she was a Dark Signer.”

“Oh.” So she finally got up the courage to ask him. No wonder he was in a foul mood. Yusei had never asked Jack what had happened in the duel with Carly because he obviously didn't want to talk about it. Whatever happened must have been painful and personal. Like what happened between Yusei and Kiryu. Of course he had told Jack about that because it was Team Satisfaction; that sprang out of their mutual, broken past. But this … it was Jack's own. But still … “Don't you think she has a right to know?”

“Maybe. But let someone else tell her.”

“But … you and she were the only ones there.”

“Well, then. I guess she's out of luck,” he said with a small, bitter smile.

Yusei stared at him. “Why are you so adamant? Clearly you care about her … and it's pretty obvious she has a mega-crush on you. So—”

“Why not take advantage of her?” Jack asked. “This whole thing never would have even happened if it weren't for me! She wouldn't have amnesia if not for me. She wouldn't have—” He stopped on the horrible thought and struggled on. “I tried to protect her, put some distance between us, but she felt she could help me by investigating the Arcadia movement, and look what happened! She was caught and somehow transformed into a Dark Signer. You know what happens to Dark Signers. She wasn't herself at all. Why should she be forced to remember doing terrible things that she would never normally do? Why should she remember—” his voice caught, but this time he forced himself to finish “— _dying?_ That I planned to …?”

Jack closed his eyes for a long moment, leaving Yusei wondering, _What did you plan to do, Jack?_

Finally, Jack took a deep breath. “She's better off not knowing. And she's better off not getting too close to a Signer. Look at us. We're just … trouble.”

“But … Jack, it won't always be this way. Someday, we'll be ordinary people again. Our calling will be complete.”

“You think so.”

“I'm sure of it.”

“Yusei, it doesn't matter. If I get close to her, sooner or later, she'll remember what happened.”

“You don't know that.”

“Can you guarantee she won't?”

“Of course I can't.”

“That's right, you can't. I won't risk it.” He put on his especially broody look. “Besides, that was another life. She died. I lost her.”

“Jack …”

“I failed, Yusei. If I had earned that future, I wouldn't be looking back at this past. That door has closed.”

“Jack …”

But for Jack, the conversation was over. Yusei couldn't get him to say another word.

And then, there was that nagging thought. _I planned to …_

_What? What did you plan, Jack? What kept you from going through with it?_

As they rode back to Poppo Time in silence, Yusei couldn't help glancing over at his companion again and again, trying to divine the portent of that remark. Despite Jack's penchant for wearing white, there was a darkness to him, like the dragon that he was forever describing as his very soul.

Crow, Aki, so many friends and acquaintances pointed to Jack as uncomplicated and shallow, but to Yusei, old friend or not, he remained in many ways an enigma.

**Chapter notes …**

Jack and Carly: The distance between the two after the Dark Signer Arc is never fully explained in the series. Here's a couple of suggestions.

_his sacrifice_ : After the team in general (and Jack in particular) screws up, and Jack's D-wheel crashes, he gets up and pushes it to the line.


	4. ... And Then There Were Three

“Twin Sword Marauder, attack!” Jack declared with a flourish, eyes flashing.

“Aw! I almost had my cards set for a counterattack, too.” Sasuke griped. “But why do you hafta call it out like you have a duel disk? We can't see your monster attack, you know.”

Jack shrugged. “I'll have one one day.”

“I'm going to build us duel disks,” said Yusei.

“Out of what? Broken pallets?” sneered Sasuke.

“How about out of your broken bones?” asked Jack, raising a fist.

Sasuke was relieved to be interrupted by a voice from above.

“ _Hey! You!_ You Jack Atlas?” The voice came from the wall of a ruined building along the alley they were dueling in.

The three of them, Jack, Yusei, and Sasuke, one of Martha's kids, looked up to see a scrawny kid with a huge shock of unruly orange hair. “What if I am?” Jack called back.

“I moved into these parts a few days ago and heard there was a blond big mouth who claims he's a pretty good duelist.”

“ _Claims—!_ You want to find out?”

“As a matter of fact, that's why I came looking,” the boy grinned, sliding down a pile of rubble.

“Well, aren't you cocky?”

“Hey, Jack, that's Crow,” Sasuke warned. “The one that Roger told us about yesterday? He's tricky.”

“Right,” Jack said. But Yusei knew that Jack already realized who it was and that he was about to face all those Blackwing cards they'd heard about. He could see the glint of excitement in Jack's eyes that appeared when he hoped to face a tough opponent. “Should be fun.”

A voice called out from the back of the knot of kids that had gathered for the duel. “Hey, Crow, Jack's the best duelist at Martha's … and that's Yusei. He's almost as good. They're always together.”

Several minutes and a few plays later, Jack was down 2000 points.

“I thought you said your friend was good,” Crow said.

“You'll see,” said Yusei.

“Reverse card, open,” said Jack, turning over a card. Crow took a look and frowned.

“That sends all my cards to the graveyard. You've had that card out since your first turn. Why didn't you play it before now?”

“If I had, how would I find out how these Blackwings work?” Jack smiled. After a few plays, it was all over.

Crow shook his head. “I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like you before.”

“What did I say?” said Yusei with a little pride. “You want to duel me now?”

“I think I need a breather,” Crow laughed.

“Why haven't we seen you around here before?” Jack asked.

Crow shrugged. “I like to move around. I find a good place, and people tend to move in, you see.”

“You mean, you don't have anybody?” Yusei asked. “Hey, Jack, let's take him to Martha. Don't you think we could squeeze in one more?”

Jack shrugged. “Come along if you want, Crow. You duel hard. I like that. Plus, you're tricky. It's fun. Challenging.”

“You're a strange one, Jack. Isn't it about winning?”

“Of course it is. But what good is an easy victory?”

“Can we show him our hideout?”

“Let's not get ahead of ourselves.”

**Chapter notes ...  
**

Obviously, I'm not one to write detailed dueling scenes. Sorry about that! I just don't feel I have that sort of intimate knowledge of the game ... just a basic understanding.


	5. Speculation

The next morning, Crow trotted down the steps through the early morning light filtering through the high garage windows. Spotting Yusei already busy at work on the D-wheels—this time his own—he called out a good morning as he headed to the kitchen area for a quick cup of tea. “So, did you find out what Jack's problem was?” he asked.

“It was Carly.”

“Well, I guessed that much, but what could she possibly have said that would upset Jack that much?”

“She asked him what happened during their duel when she was a Dark Signer.”

“Ah. I guess that explains a lot.” Crow frowned. “But what I don't understand is why, if he cares about her so much, he treats her like just another fan. He just … kind of ignores her.”

Yusei ratcheted a bolt back into place and said, “I think he blames himself for what happened to her. That it happened to her because he's a Signer. From his point of view, what happened should never have happened. He's glad that she doesn't remember it, but that makes things worse for him because the duel must have been a powerful experience for the two of them. He's the only person who remembers it now, so any bond it created is, well, kind of broken on her side. It places a huge, unspoken barrier between them.”

Crow thought it over. “Jack doesn't really speak Emotion-ese anyway …”

“So, any time she's around, there's all this _stuff_ that kind of comes along with her. He just can't work arou,d it.”

“That's horrible, Yusei.”

Yusei nodded and picked up another bolt.

Looking around, Crow asked, “Where _is_ His Majesty, anyway?”

Yusei began, “Crow—” which to Crow translated into “I really don't want you and Jack to get into another argument,” and immediately looked through the window across the street.

There he was, Jack, in full regalia, drinking what must be the most expensive variety of coffee with his groupie waitress standing by adoringly. Not that Jack noticed. Or did he? Crow could never tell whether Jack's disregard for female attention was a natural cool or a put-on front. “I don't want to hear it, Yusei,” Crow growled. “Jack _knows_ our situation, yet he insists on spending money like—like he's still some sort of _celebrity_.”

Yusei sighed as he put his tools down on the work table so that he could talk to Crow directly. It was as though all the compassion Crow had just expressed for Jack had instantly evaporated. “I know. I _know_. I've talked to him about it—and lord knows _you_ have.” Yusei paused. “Maybe you should try understanding him.”

“Understand him. _Understand_ him, right.” Crow felt his anger growing dangerously. “It's always us understanding him, making allowances for _him_. Why can't he take a turn and try understanding _us_ for a change? You know what? I'm going out and giving him a piece of my mind.”

As Crow headed for the door, Yusei leapt to his feet, ran to the door, and grabbed Crow by the arm. “I've had enough of this,” he said quietly. “I want you to chill for a couple of minutes.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I've seen you two go round and round like this ever since we got together again and it's always the same, and I'm always in the middle of it. I'm sick of it.”

“And you're saying it's _my_ fault?”

“Hardly, but it takes two to tango, my friend.”

“All I'm asking is that he contribute to the team in some way.”

“You're saying that he doesn't?”

“Oh, you're saying that he does?”

“He does the bulk of testing. He puts his machine, his body, and his skills into play any time we need him.”

“He also has the most time on his hands to volunteer. But it's really hard to get him to take suggestions. He's not a team player. He's headstrong, arrogant—”

“Courageous, self-sacrificing—”

“Vain, profligate—”

“Altruistic—”

“Altruistic! How can you say that? Why are you defending him like this, after all that he put you through, anyway?”

“Come now, Crow,” Yusei said evenly. “That's all in the past now, and you know how much he regrets it. As for his altruism, he's done a lot for the community of duelists. You tell me how vain he is, but how often does he take a beating—on purpose even—in a good cause? He's not afraid to sacrifice his clothes, or even his good looks. He's been bloodied more often than any of us.”

“Because he's stupid.”

Yusei shot Crow an exasperated look. “Jack is _not_ stupid, it's just … You're clever, Crow; from your point of view, it's stupid to take a direct approach when a circuitous one wins the day. Jack is a warrior. He'll win through his own power or go down fighting, honorably. Why do you think you two are always yelling, anyway? You always got along great when we were kids.”

It was true. There was the constant ribbing, of course, but those two hardly ever argued then—not in earnest. Crow stopped for a second. “It's his irresponsibility, obviously.”

“That's not it. You're frustrated by that, and he's frustrated that he can't live up to your expectations. He just doesn't fit into this … work-a-day world, Crow. Good enough just isn't good enough for him and that doesn't fit into ordinary jobs, ordinary life. He doesn't get the concept of money; to him it has no intrinsic value, so …” Yusei shrugged. “But don't you think there's something else?”

“What are you talking about? This is just about his failure to—”

“Did you ever think that he might _want_ to be punished, Crow?” he asked softly and patiently. He waited a moment for this to sink in.

“What? … How?” Crow stammered in confusion. “But—”

“What, he acts so confident? So unrepentant? What do you expect? How is he supposed to keep people from feeling sorry for him? By acting like a whipped dog? By showing humility and doing as he's told? Crow, all he has is pride and his pride demands that he take his punishment like a man. He can only do that if people refuse to show him sympathy, or worst of all, pity.”

Crow took another look through the window at Jack and said, “God, I think you might be on to something, Yusei.”

Yusei sighed again. “Damn. I shouldn't have told you. You're going to act differently now and Jack'll know something's up. But you know how he feels. Every time Godwin comes up it's the same old story.”

“He's tied in knots.”

“Exactly. It wasn't just that he allowed Godwin to convince him to make one of the few dishonorable decisions of his life, it's that Godwin used him all along. Whatever else he's done, he'd _never_ cheat at a duel. Never.”

“You're right. OK, I can't deny that … ” Crow trailed off, then he frowned. “But all this is beside the point! He needs to realize that he's not living under Godwin's wing anymore. If he can't bring in some money, he ought to at least _try_ to economize!”

“It's OK, Crow, I love him too,” Yusei said softly.

Crow jerked his head up to face Yusei, eyes round, color draining from his face. “ _What did you say?_ ” he demanded.

Yusei stared for a moment, then collected himself. “I just meant that if you didn't care about Jack, you wouldn't get so angry.”

“Ah.” Then, catching sight of the clock, he cried, “Damn, the time! I'll be late!” and ran to his D-wheel. He was out with a squeal of tires, his face having turned from white to red.

But Yusei couldn't forget the expression on Crow's face.


	6. Dreams of Nazca

Yusei sighed with relief as he watched Crow leave. He had been preparing to go over to talk to Jack himself as it was and he didn't need Jack agitated by Crow's complaints, meritorious though they might be. He had just received an email from Bommer. Apparently Bommer was canny enough to realize that he should let Yusei know about the issue rather than telling Jack directly.

“Bommer had a dream and that's why you think we should go?” Jack asked, arms folded across his chest. Stephanie, who had been hovering nearby, sensed Jack's mood darkening and headed into the back room.

“It was about you and Red Demon's Dragon. Doesn't that mean anything to you?”

“It means that Bommer has an active imagination. Although why he should involve me in it …” Jack frowned into his coffee cup. “Besides, Crow wouldn't hear of the expense and you know I have nearly no money of my own.” It was true enough, but Jack so seldom mentioned the fact that Yusei almost stared.

“I think we should take this seriously.”

“A dream.”

“Remember, Bommer was a Dark Signer and he lives at Nazca right now … where the—”

“—Earthbound Immortals are sealed. I get it.” The frown became scowlier. “Fine then, if you can get financing lined up for it, I'll go.”

“ _We'll_ go.”

“What do you mean, 'we'?”

“You don't think I'm going to let you go into a dangerous situation like that alone do you?”

“Dangerous? Visiting Bommer?”

“Nazca? Earthbound Immortals? Dark Signers?”

“Bommer? Our friend? The Earthbound Immortals were sealed, remember?”

“Back at Nazca. That dream sounded pretty dangerous.”

Jack sighed heavily. “Now we're back to dreams and portents again. I hate that stuff.”

_The supernatural changed Carly into a Dark Signer … right. Of course, it brought her back, but …_

“I know. Just look at it as a visit. A visit that might help you find your new way of fighting.”

“My new strategy? You think the two have something to do with each other?” Jack's frown seemed to be in the process of becoming a permanent expression.

“I do. I think all this is connected.”

“In what way?”

“No idea. But the timing is too convenient to be coincidental. I think we have to check it out.”

“But you think it's dangerous.”

“Maybe.”

“Yet you still want me to go.”

Yusei smiled. “That's why I think I should come along. Come on Jack, you're the kind of guy who deliberately springs traps. I have confidence in you. That doesn't mean I don't want to be there to back you up.”

Yusei watched his friend down the last of his coffee. He felt an urge to say something, but he didn't know what.

_I wish you could open up a little._

He didn't think Aki was thinking about Yusei opening up to Jack when she said that, but there was so much between him and Jack that he didn't quite understand even now.

… _You seemed to hate each other, but you seem so close now._

_Do we?_ He wanted to understand Jack, and even though he pretended to Crow that it was easy, he wondered if that was so.

_I'm always play-acting like I'm a king …_

From way back, he believed that Jack had an ideal version of himself, a _Jack Atlas_ —the King—that he wanted to live up to. Yusei felt this was why Jack had that strong tendency to refer to himself in the third person: he was trying to live up to this impossible standard. So often, what you saw was a version of this persona; some sort of “Jack Atlas suit” that Jack wore instead of being genuine. Yusei realized that everybody did this more or less … but Jack … did he ever see the real Jack, or was he buried under layers of pretense somewhere?

This trip …

Could this be an opportunity to peek behind the mask and sneak a glimpse of the real Jack Atlas?

Nah … he was probably over-thinking things … as usual.

“You OK?”

“Oh, sorry, Jack, I was just thinking about how we might swing this.”

“Yeah, you seemed pretty deep in serious thought. You don't have to come along, you know. Probably nothing will happen and it will be a total bore.”

“If nothing else, we'll get to visit Bommer and his family,” Yusei smiled.

“Tell Crow. He'll say it's totally worth it.”

**Chapter Notes ...**

Yusei over-thinking things: Intelligent people tend to over-analyze interpersonal interactions, even (I suspect) those who are good at them. I'm sure that someone as thoughtful as Yusei would have this tendency.

I hope this hasn't been boring you by building so slowly, but there's actually a reason for all this (I promise!).

“ _Jack Atlas suit”_ : (re-posting comment) woah, this was written way before _Hannibal_ and that great scene with the “carefully-constructed person suit.” A bit different (and totally unconnected), to be sure, but I love hearing an echo in, like, a real thing! ;)


	7. Good Enough

Yusei had spent months gathering the pieces he needed for a bicycle … no, two bicycles. Crow was gathering pieces for his own, but Yusei knew that it wouldn't be any fun if Jack were left out of it. Yusei had insisted that Jack assemble the pieces and discovered, to his amazement, that Jack wasn't a half-bad mechanic when he applied himself. He wasn't as quick on the uptake as Yusei—or even Crow—and he didn't like the grease and grime involved, but he was capable with a wrench.

Jack had whined loudly enough, but he was highly motivated. He didn't want to be left out, and he loved the idea of increased mobility and speed. The idea of learning tricks didn't hurt, either. Meanwhile, Yusei wanted to make sure Jack knew how to do a couple of things other than how to duel and fight.

They had taken to racing each other down the streets of Satellite. Occasionally Crow joined in, but usually it was Jack on his white bike and Yusei on his red one. Jack, with his long legs and superior strength—and lung capacity—generally won. That is, he won unless he over-powered his bike, causing a mechanical failure, which happened on a regular basis. Jack's fearlessness, need for speed, and desire to win combined explosively.

This morning, that's exactly what happened. Jack's vigorous pedaling caused a bolt to give way. He suddenly veered into an alley and crashed into the wall about half a block in. Yusei, concerned, tried to stop immediately, but was going so fast that he couldn't stop as quickly as he wanted and had to turn sideways, casting a spray of gravel into a group of older teens that was gathered on one side of the street, dueling.

“Who do you think you are?” demanded a boy with straight black hair, cut raggedly above his shoulders.

“I … my friend crashed back there …” Yusei began.

“I don't care. You have no business pelting us with rubble. Moron.”

Another of the gang joined in, sneering. “Should we take his bike, Tom?”

“Nah, it's a piece of junk. Just like him. Look at it. It looks like it's about to fall apart.”

Yusei frowned at his bicycle. It didn't look _that_ bad, did it?

“Look, I can't stick around, my friend might be—”

“Who'd be _your_ friend? You're puny.” Tom again. “That guy must be even stupider than you!”

Yusei's ire rose at that, but he clamped his mouth shut. He needed to get back to that alley. What if Jack were hurt?

Another of the Tom's friends piped up. “Should we beat him up?”

Yusei thought it might be getting out of hand, but he wasn't going to wait around to find out. Jack could really be hurt. He hadn't shown up yet. So he simply turned and walked his bike toward the alley, listening to calls of “scaredy-cat” and “moron” following him as he went.

He found Jack giving his bike a quick repair job. “Something happen out there?” Jack asked.

“No, why?”

“I heard some yelling.”

“The usual kid stuff was going on. Don't know what it was about.”

Jack stood up, then wrapped and stowed his little toolkit. He had long since learned to carry one with him for these little mishaps. It was obvious to the both of them by then that Yusei's assertion that Jack couldn't always depend on Yusei for repairs was a valid one.

The two walked their bikes back out into the street and Yusei said, “Ready to race yet?”

But Jack had noticed the knot of teens. _Damn it_ , Yusei thought, _Jack can_ smell _a duel_.

“Let's wait,” Jack said. “I want to watch this duel.” He handed Yusei his bike and walked over to check out the end of the duel. Yusei held back, trying not to be noticed. He didn't want the kids to start up again lest Jack get himself involved. There were too many of them, they were bigger, and they looked pretty tough.

Tom turned out to have a pretty special card that wiped out the competition handily. “Told ya,” he said, proudly. He pulled out the card for his friends' envious stares.

“I'll duel you for that card,” said Jack.

Yusei was surprised. Jack didn't usually do that sort of thing. He prized every one of his cards. If he was dueling for a card, wouldn't that mean he'd be risking one of his own as an ante?

“Are you kidding me?” replied the teen. “You couldn't possibly have anything that is worth risking this card for.”

“Oh, you're saying you're afraid you'll lose, then?” Jack scoffed derisively.

“Fine, what are you offering?”

“You can pick any card in my deck that you want.”

“ _Any_ card?” Tom stared at Jack in amazement. “Why not? I can't lose.”

Yusei yanked Jack aside. “Are you crazy? You're letting that kid take any card he wants if you lose?”

“Don't worry, I won't lose.”

“But, these kids … they're older, tougher—Jack, you're not invincible! If you really want this card, don't you think it would be a good idea to study him to learn his deck and duel style a little before you challenge him?”

Jack considered this for a second and said, “That's smart, Yusei, but it kind of takes the fun out of it, doesn't it? I saw enough of his last duel to see the card I wanted … Plus, he's been showing it around enough.” He shook his head. “I have a duel to win.”

“Jack … it's not—”

Jack shrugged again and stepped confidently away from Yusei. “This'll only take a couple of minutes.”

“You gonna duel, or what, kid? I don't have all day. What is he, anyway? Your boyfriend?”

“Huh?” Jack flushed slightly, obviously having never considered that such a thought could cross anyone's mind. “Let's duel!” He said.

Yusei found his own cheeks burning as well. _Boyfriend?_

Unfortunately, Jack was right: it did only take a few minutes. His life points quickly fell to zero.

“Man! You're all mouth and no talent, kid,” he laughed.

Jack didn't reply. Instead he walked over, head held high, met the boy's eyes and said, “Per our agreement, you can have any card you want.” He handed his deck to the boy.

Tom ruffled through Jack's cards, then pronounced, “ _Pathetic!_ No wonder you lost! Come back when you've got a stronger deck, kid!” He laughed, tossing the cards in the air over Jack's head so that they spread out, flying everywhere. His friends joined in the general laughter as Jack scrambled to gather his cards, Yusei jumping in to help.

“Look at'm run for those cards! Like they're worth anything!” Tiring of the spectacle, the knot of teens began to move off.

“They didn't have to do that!” Yusei complained after the boys were safely out of earshot. “And what they said about you. Didn't it bother you? You didn't say anything back to them.”

“Who cares what they think? They're stupid,” Jack said, shrugging. “See how they show no respect for cards? I would _never_ do that to a duelist.”

“All the more reason for you to want to beat them,” Yusei said, handing Jack the cards he'd gathered for him.

“Thanks, Yusei,” Jack said. “Look at it this way. They did me a favor. I made a mistake, but now I'll learn from it. I'll be strong enough to beat him next time.”

Jack shot Yusei a smile. Yusei wasn't quite sure what to make of the smile, but he accepted it. “So,” Jack said, in a welcome change of subject, “are you still taking Crow over to Kurama-san's to look at that old car of his?”

“Yeah, he's tearing down the engine today. It's probably going to take all afternoon. I don't see why you can't come along. You're actually pretty good at mechanical stuff when you try.”

“Me?”

“When we worked on that bicycle.”

But Jack said, “Nah, I have things to do,” and pedaled away toward the docks.

Just like Jack, Yusei thought.

He went to grab Crow.

* * *

Sooner than he expected, Yusei was looking for Jack. After checking several of their favorite haunts, he found Jack on the roof of the building that their hideout was in, leaning on the rickety railing, staring out over the bay toward Neo Domino City. “Why didn't you answer? I've been calling and …”

Jack didn't turn or say anything. There was something in the way he was standing that bothered Yusei. After a long moment, Jack finally threw a quick glance over his shoulder before returning to his former position. “What're _you_ looking at?”

“Jack, I …”

“Why are you here, anyway? You're supposed to be at that—what the hell is it?—engine tear-down, right?”

“Uh, Kurama-san got a line on a new part and he's running it down today, so we're going back tomorrow,” Yusei said distantly. He didn't understand Jack's mood.

“Don't tell me Crow's with you.”

“Uh, no, he … he's looking for cards for the little kids.”

“Why don't you go help him?”

“Jack … Is something wrong?”

“No.”

The shortness, the way he said it. Something was wrong and Jack didn't want to talk about it. Yusei couldn't help it. He needed to find out what was wrong with his friend and fix it. What could it be? Jack had been just fine. He had crashed, and he had—

“Jack, it's not the duel, is it? Because it's not the first time you've lost a—”

“No.”

But Jack's answer was too quick, too final. Yusei frowned. Why would that loss bother Jack so much? Jack dueled older and stronger opponents fairly often, which meant that he took his share of losses—but many fewer than he should expect at his age and experience, actually.

“I don't get it. Won't you let me—?”

“You can't help. Just … Leave. Me. Alone!”

Jack had pushed away from the railing along the roof edge and turned, his hands balled into fists and his face twisting. He was wrestling desperately with some overwhelming burden of emotion.

Was Jack planning to … fight? But they weren't in an argument that he knew of. “Did I do something wrong? Tell me what's the matter,” he said.

Jack pulled a fist back, but never threw the punch, settling on giving Yusei a formidable shove instead. He hugged his own shoulders, burying his face in his arms. “You think you can fix anything,” Jack said with surprising bitterness, “but you can't.”

“What?”

“I'm so … fucked up.”

Yusei was more confused and worried than ever. He reached out and gently pulled at one of Jack's arms, trying to get a look at his face. “What? How can you say that?”

At last Jack relaxed a little and let go, slumping against the railing again. “I wish … I wish I were more … like you. Smarter. If I were smarter I wouldn't have lost that duel.”

“B-but … you said it yourself. You learned from the duel. You'll do better next time. You didn't lose any of your cards. Why do you want to be more like me? You're a better duelist than me. I don't get it. Was that card so important to you?”

Jack barked out a short laugh. “The card? I don't care about that. I was going to give it to _you_.”

“To _me?_ But …” Yusei was even more confused.

“That card? It was important to _him!_ _That's_ why I wanted it! I wanted to see the look on his stupid face when his pride and joy was taken away!”

“He …” then it dawned on Yusei. “You saw.”

“Saw? What?” But it was clear.

“C'mon, Jack, you heard what they said to me. I thought you were working on your bike. You were trying to avenge their treatment of me. You don't have to do that, you know.”

“I c-could. If I were good enough.”

“What?”

“If I w-were good enough, I could protect my friends. I c-could p-protect everybody.”

“I don't understand, Jack. After, you didn't seem to care at all. The duel didn't seem to be a big deal.”

“They said I was pathetic.”

“Your deck.”

“Same thing!”

“B-but you don't care what they think. You didn't, did you?”

Jack's face filled with agony. “A _King_ doesn't care. He's not supposed to care. The subjects are supposed to care what the _King_ thinks! Those guys … they're worthless! Who cares what they think! B-but I _do_ care! I c-can't help it!” A tear ran down his face and Jack struggled, angry, embarrassed and frustrated that Yusei had witnessed this weakness. “Damn you, Yusei!”

“Forget what those guys think. You said it yourself. They're disrespectful. They don't care about their cards.”

“Th-that's why I should h-have b-beat them!” Jack asserted. The fair skin of his face was beginning to turn red and puffy.

“You've learned from this. You'll beat them next time for sure,” Yusei said, trying to soothe Jack.

“Stop trying to fix things! Can't you see some things can't _be_ fixed? Look around! You and Crow don't have any parents! Doesn't that bother you? You can't change Zero Reverse! Don't you see where we are? Satellite. This place is _awful!_ ”

Yusei couldn't help noticing that Jack didn't mention his own parents. He wanted badly to ask why, but forced himself to set that aside. “I used to think so, but now I don't think about that much anymore.”

Jack's struggles eased a little and he said, “Why not?”

“I met you. Crow, of course, but mostly … you.” Yusei paused, then admitted, “You say you want to be like me? Funny. I've always wanted to be like _you_.”

“Me? Why me?” Jack seemed genuinely surprised.

“Your courage. Your strength. You never give up. You know exactly who you are and what you want to do. It's …” Yusei shrugged. He couldn't put it into words. Yusei wanted to hug Jack, to give him physical comfort of some sort, but … He sighed. “You make me want to be a better person,” he said, finally. “Someone … _worthy_.”

Yusei put his hand on Jack's shoulder. He wasn't surprised when Jack shrugged his hand away. “Don't you have something more interesting to do than hang around here?”

“Jack …” But Yusei realized that it was useless. “You know,” he said, “I think I'll go help Crow out. I'll see you back at Martha's for dinner.”

“Fine.”

As Yusei walked his bike towards the dump, he realized that Jack hadn't wanted Yusei to know that he'd wanted to avenge him. He'd have felt better if Yusei had been fooled and his frustration at his inability to protect his friends had never come to light. Jack would rather be seen as arrogant and uncaring— _cool_. He'd much rather that Yusei see him angry or bored than know how he really felt inside—weak and unready.

A King is never weak. Other people lean on the King … right?

But wouldn't it be better to have a friend to lean on? It made Yusei sad that Jack couldn't stand to just be himself, even around his very best friend. Why couldn't he let Yusei help him bear the burden? Must he insist on living up to his name?

Jack showed up for dinner that evening, bright and cool as always, but excused himself early, having hardly eaten anything, and went straight to bed. Martha asked Yusei whether Jack was feeling all right, and he made some excuse about their having had a tiring day. It was true enough.

Yusei gave Jack extra space in the days that followed, but was disappointed that Jack seemed to avoid him. It took some time for Jack to begin speaking naturally with him again. Yusei could only conclude that such intimate disclosures disturbed Jack on some basic level and he needed time to mend their friendship.

Crow noticed the rift, but Yusei couldn't explain to him what had happened. He just told Crow to give it time.

For a while Yusei was afraid that Jack could never forgive Yusei for penetrating his defenses, but Yusei didn't press things. One day, Jack was walking towards the door and stopped briefly as he passed Yusei. “You never tag along when I look for cards any more,” he observed.

“Not for a while.”

“You could come today if you want.”

“Thanks. I always have better luck when I'm with you for some reason.”

“Where's Crow?”

“I'll get him.”

“Oh, and let's race on 8th. I bet I can beat you by … oh, a block.”

“I'll definitely beat you this time. I've been practicing.”

“In your dreams, Fudo.”


	8. Baggage

Yusei spent the day finalizing their travel arrangements. Air passage was out of the question, but fortunately the repairs required by Placido's little escapade gave them ample time to go via sea, so Yusei booked passage on a small independent freighter named the Scarlet Queen. Unfortunately, he and Jack would have to share a cabin because of their budgetary limitations. Jack was prohibited from making major spending decisions at Crow's insistence, since he was footing a large portion of the bill.

That evening as Yusei entered the garage, he found a letter from Kiryu awaiting him. He took it with him to his room, then sighed. An open dufflebag awaited.

“So how's the packing going?” It was Crow.

“Not bad,” Yusei said. Actually, there wasn't much there. A couple of shirts, an extra pair of pants, enough underwear. “There's a laundry on board, so we shouldn't have to pack much.”

“Actually, I'm more worried about Jack over-packing.”

“You and me both.”

“Well, check his luggage. You know he won't let me do it. For a guy who always wears the same outfit, he sure is a peacock; the vainest guy I know.” Crow flushed slightly as an evil twinkle entered his eye, and he said in very low tones, “I'll bet he jacks off naked in front of the mirror.”

“Now, Crow …” Yusei said, but he couldn't quite suppress a smile. “By the by, has Jack come in?”

“Haven't seen him yet. I think he's with his Security friend saying goodbye. Why?”

“I got a letter from Kiryu. He's asking after him this time. I wonder why.”

“Must be the WRGP,” Crow said. “Jack pushing the Wheel of Fortune the way he did almost got as much play in the press as your beating three opponents almost single-handedly.”

“You have to admit, that was pretty impressive. He was really hurt, you know.”

“He came back for the end of the duel.”

“You know Jack. He bounces back quickly—and he doesn't want to let anyone see the pain. Sometimes, I don't think he lets himself see it.” He looked back at Kiryu's letter. “I think Kiryu feels guilty. He thinks he's responsible for splitting our friendship apart—temporarily, that is.”

Crow shrugged it off. “ _We_ let that happen,” he said. “I mean, after, why couldn't we just come back together? We should have been able to support you _after_ … but … I guess no one really wanted to talk about it. It was just too fresh, too painful. And you and Jack …”

“Yeah …” There was that distance that had been between them, even before Jack had left Satellite. Their friendship had been broken even then. Why hadn't Yusei been able to fix it? Why hadn't he tried? “Crow—”

“Let it go, Yusei, it wasn't your fault, it was Jack's. He betrayed _you_ , remember?” Crow frowned and put his fists on his hips. “You always do this,” he said. “You always think that you could have done something to change someone else's mistakes … but it's their decision. Kiryu messed up, and so did Jack. They did it on their own, without your help.”

“But—”

“But nothing. And forget it, why don'cha? It's all in the past now.”

But Jack was still recovering from it. “Crow …” he said finally.

“What is it now?”

“You know the reason I can't let it go. It's just—Jack's not like Kiryu. He's the most honorable person we know. Or … he was, back then. You fight for your kids … and I fight for my friends and home … but Jack … of all of us, he's the most likely to fight for a stranger—even save scum on principle—like Nicholas of Team Catastrophe. The thing is, I just can't get why he'd do it. Even though our friendship was, well … How could he do that to Rally? It doesn't make sense. It never has.”

Another shrug. “Well, look at it this way. You had your friends and your D-wheel and I had my kids. What did Jack have? He'd conquered Satellite. He'd beaten everyone. Me, Kiryu, even you. He was just …”

… _alone with his unquenchable ambition …_

“Huh.”

“What if he stuck around? Believe me, let it go. What happened was for the best.” Crow smiled, winked, and gave Yusei a punch in the arm. “Besides,” he said, “that guy needed to be taken down a peg or two, and you were just the guy to do it.”

_Without Kiryu … we would have become garbage …_

Wasn't that what Jack always said?

Team Satisfaction.

Was it true? Yusei and Crow, devoted to friends and family, and Kiryu and Jack, aiming for conquest and glory? When Team Satisfaction met its goal of controlling Satellite, making it safe, Kiryu couldn't stop … and turned Team Satisfaction into the menace it once sought to eliminate. This was the very reason both Crow and Jack walked out. Crow, because he couldn't stand to harm innocent kids. Jack, because it wasn't honorable.

_So why? Jack, why?_

Was he afraid that if he didn't leave, he'd end up doing something even worse than what he eventually did to leave Satellite? Was he afraid he'd end up like Kiryu? Drag Yusei down with him?

Suppressing a shudder, Yusei shoved the thought away and returned to his packing, trying to decide whether he wanted to bring along a book or two. Crow decided that Yusei wasn't going to say anything, so he went on. “I can see your argument for Jack going to Nazca, but you too?” Crow said. “The expense—”

“I'm going with Jack to Nazca and that's that,” Yusei said. “Think of it this way. Someone has to keep an eye on Jack to keep the expenses _down_.”

Crow stared at him in horrified realization of what might happen if they left Jack to his own devices. “You do have a point,” he said. “I guess someone should go along after all …”

“Besides, I earn enough of our money to have a say. … And if it's about what Jack's spending, forget it. If all else fails, I'll pay you back for that.” He sighed. “Eventually.”

Crow scowled, but Yusei pressed on. “This is something he needs to do. If he doesn't work this out, the whole team suffers.”

“The team …” he said, but Yusei knew. Deep down, Crow wanted Jack back to his old self as much as Yusei did.

“Then it's decided.” Yusei checked his dufflebag and added a few pairs of socks, thinking, then said, “But there's something else. Something about Bommer's message was … off. I think we should go, but …”

“Are you saying that you don't even think it's what Jack's looking for?”

“Actually, I think it _is_. I just think it's going to turn out to be a lot more complicated that it looks. And it's just. Jack. He has this way of making things as dire as possible before the end, win or lose.”

“Then … Do you think maybe I should come? You know, I have some extra put aside …” _Leave it to Crow to have a nest egg …_

“Crow, someone needs to stay here, and besides, can you get time off from your delivery job?”

A sigh. “Not on such short notice.”

“Jack's put out enough that I'm coming without you tagging along too. I can afford to take the time off because I don't have regular hours.”

“You're right,” Crow said, but he still looked distinctly unsatisfied by the resolution. Yusei couldn't help but think back to his earlier speculation. “But still … You really think it might be dangerous?”

“I'm probably being over-cautious. I'm sure it'll turn out fine.” Yusei tried to sound reassuring. “Jack always pulls through. And I'm not even sure I _can_ help him. You know how he is. He never asks for help and I'm not sure he wants it or would accept it.”

“He's so damn stubborn!”

“He wants to be independent. It's not that he doesn't want friends—”

“Could've fooled me.”

“—he just doesn't want to lean on anyone or owe anyone. And, after Godwin, can you blame him?”

“Why do we have to take the blame for what Godwin did?”

“We don't, but Jack just doesn't get over things quickly, especially things that he did that he thinks are totally against what he believes is right.”

“I guess. So you're saying you think you should go to back him up, but you're not sure that you _can_ back him up? Yusei, I hate to tell you this, but you're not making a whole hell of a lot of sense here.”

Yusei shrugged. “Maybe not. I've just got this feeling … something's going to happen and I—I need to be there for it. I _have_ to go, Crow.”

“Jack is harder to understand than women. You—sometimes you're just as bad. But at least you're talking now. After Team Satisfaction broke up … I thought you were a mute.”

“I wasn't that bad.”

“Sez you.” He ran his hand through his thick shock of red hair. “Passage for two people plus two D-wheels.” He whistled low and shook his head. “I'm putting in for overtime.”

**Chapter notes ...**

I hear you. “You say Jack doesn't want to owe anyone, yet he owes Crow a ton of money?” But, like Yusei said already, money has no intrinsic worth to Jack, so it doesn't register. Debts of honor are what tally on his ledger sheet.

“ _Without Kiryu … we would have become garbage …_ ” Taken from the Japanese anime, care of 4Kids (yeah, I know) translation, available on Hulu [well, when I was writing this, it was available and free].


	9. Momentum

Jack had led Yusei out on their bikes to the B.A.D. area near Zero Reverse where few people came.

“Why are we here?” asked Yusei.

Jack swung a leg over his bike and said, “You need to know how to fight.”

“I know how to fight.”

“You can't always count on fighting from a distance or talking your way out of a fight. What if I'm not around? What if you get jumped?”

He'd seen Jack ambushed more than once. Yusei shrugged. “I don't attract attention like you do.”

“People know that you hang out with me.”

Yusei didn't know what to say to that. Was Jack worried that someone might try to use him as leverage?

“I'm going to teach you how to fight and that's it,” Jack repeated.

Yusei decided that it was no use struggling. If he didn't relent, Jack would probably take a swing at him. “But why take me out here?” he asked.

“We don't need the attention.”

Good point. If they did this anywhere in the neighborhood, a crowd would probably gather. “OK, what do you want me to do?”

Jack led Yusei to a relatively clear area where they wouldn't fall on anything sharp and said, “Bend your knees and put your hands up. Think about what you need to do when I throw a punch at you. I'll give you a minute before I come at you.”

Yusei bent his knees and put his hands up in loose fists. He looked at Jack. How was he supposed to fight him? Jack had always been larger that Yusei, but the size difference was really starting to show now. Jack was taller, outweighed him, and had superior reach. He could easily outrun Yusei and had comparable reaction speed.

Yusei carefully watched Jack as he paced easily around like a jungle cat considering its prey. How could he possibly hold him off? After a few minutes, Jack started moving without warning. Yusei felt a surge of adrenalin as Jack crossed the distance between them in a split second and a few running steps, feinted with one fist then connected with the other to Yusei's cheek. It was a glancing blow … on purpose, Yusei thought.

Jack's other hand whipped back and grabbed Yusei's wrist, pulling him in so that their faces were only a couple of inches apart. Yusei could see each line and glimmer in Jack's sparkling violet irises, the depth and variation in color, from royal purple to amethyst to pale lavender. “… thinking?” Jack said.

“Huh?” He felt his heart pounding.

“I thought so. Obviously you weren't. Of course, in a real fight you don't want to think at all, you need to be so ready that you automatically react to what's coming, but you're not there yet, so you need to be aware of what's coming at you and know what you're doing. _Think_ , Yusei. Isn't that what you're good at?” He dropped Yusei's wrist and stepped back. “If this was a real fight, you'd be on the ground right now.”

“You're right. I'm sorry Jack.” But why were those eyes so … distracting? Worse …

_Why did he want to get another close look like that?_

Rubbing his wrist, Yusei shook his head to clear it. He could still feel the ring around his wrist like a warm band where Jack had held it, but he couldn't afford to get off track right now. Jack was getting ready for another run.

He was trying to make sure he didn't go easy, either. Just when it looked like he was going to turn away from Yusei, he suddenly spun around the other direction and sprang on Yusei, pouncing like a wild beast and tackling him to the ground. He sat on Yusei's stomach, pinning his hands to the ground, holding one wrist in either hand. Those eyes were back, hovering a little further away. The unfortunate thing about it was that Yusei was now distracted by Jack's weight pressing against his stomach as well as the halo of golden hair wrapping his head. The way his hair shined in the sunlight …

“… attention?”

_Not again._

“Huh?”

“You really need to pay attention, Yusei.” Jack was frowning. Yusei was concerned. He really didn't want to make Jack think he didn't take this seriously.

“Honest, I really can take care of myself,” he said.

“Well, then, prove it to me.” Jack rolled back and sat, knees up, on the black, ashy dirt. Yusei was a little surprised that Jack was allowing his clothes to become so dirty, but fighting in this location made that outcome almost inevitable. “You know, you shouldn't be intimidated because I'm bigger.”

“Uh, how about because you're really good at fighting?”

“Am I? Or am I just confident? Am I just willing to fight?”

He means _aggressive_ , Yusei thought. Well, Jack _is_ aggressive. Doesn't he always make the first move?

In a _battle_ situation …

Now Yusei found himself distracted by his own thoughts. He snapped his attention back to Jack.

“Just because I'm bigger doesn't mean that I'll automatically win, Yusei. I fight bigger guys all the time. When I was a little kid, they were lots bigger. If you're smaller, you have to fight smarter. If anyone can do that, you can, Yusei—and dirtier, too. And I know you're not afraid to take a shot. You've helped me out often enough.”

“Smarter?” Yusei wasn't quite sure what he was getting at.

“C'mon Yusei. If someone's coming at you hard enough, they can't stop going if you head them toward something they weren't planning on hitting. You get me? Y'know, like the ground? Or a building? If you can get out of the way …”

“You're talking about inertia.”

“In ur …?”

“Inertia. The technical term. It's not important.”

“Heh, you know more about it than I do. So why aren't you using it?” Jack hopped to his feet and held out his hands to Yusei. “Here, let me show you.” Yusei grabbed Jack's hands and let him help him up.

“You come at me this time,” Jack said, giving Yusei a small encouraging smile.

“OK.” Yusei wasn't exactly looking forward to trying this, but he was beginning to think maybe learning how to fight better was a good idea after all. Especially when Jack had this way of getting into scrapes the way he did. If Yusei fought better he'd be better at helping Jack out of them.

But he didn't like the idea of trying to hit Jack. It just didn't seem right to him. What if he really hurt him by accident? But maybe he couldn't. Jack didn't seem to be worried, after all.

He mentally steeled himself and tried to run at Jack as suddenly as Jack had come at him, throwing a punch directly toward the center of his face.

Jack expertly dodged it, allowing Yusei's punch to whiff right past his face, then grabbed him by his upper arm with both hands as his body followed through the punch. Pulling down on Yusei's arm, Jack easily flipped Yusei onto his back and resumed his sitting position on Yusei's stomach.

“See what I mean?” he asked. He wasn't even breathing heavily.

Yusei laughed—as well as he could under Jack's weight. “Yeah. You know, I think I might be able to do that.” His brow creased just a little. “You think you could come at me again, only … just do it in slow motion this time?”

“And I thought you really didn't want to do this.” Jack got up and helped Yusei up again.

“I've changed my mind.” Yusei assumed a slight crouch again and said, “I'm ready for you.”

“I'm not sure it will work right in slow motion, but you'll get the idea.”

This time Jack slowed it down just a little so that Yusei could see how he was coming and Yusei was able to counter his move, but not redirect his motion because of his lack of momentum. “I think I'm seeing you a little better,” he said. “But, you're right, you need to come at full speed for me to get the hang of redirecting your motion.”

“OK,” Jack said. “This time, watch for it.”

Yusei glued his eyes on his friend, looking for the rush. When it came out of nowhere, he somehow managed to catch sight of the fist that wasn't pulled but actually coming through and grabbed the arm, pulling forward and down as he'd seen Jack do it. It was surprisingly easy to flip Jack onto his back. He sat on Jack's stomach, pinning his wrists to the ground. He was amazed by the thrill it gave him. He had no idea that he could ever accomplish something like that.

Panting, he looked into Jack's eyes, grinning, and said, “Did you see what I just did?” Then he noticed their violet depths flashing in the sunlight and had a hard time not staring. Why did Jack have to have such unbelievable eyes? He felt a little heat touch his cheeks. That wasn't just the sunlight in his face. He hurriedly stood up.

Jack didn't seem to notice a thing. “You know, I think you'll be all right,” he said as he stood and brushed the charred dirt from his clothing. “This should be enough for today,” he said. “You want to race back?”

**Chapter notes ...**

_B.A.D._ : Barbaric Area after Damage [Japanese translated].


	10. Bromance and Brooding

Yusei and Jack stood on the dock saying goodbye to their friends. Both of the pair felt a little awkward, but especially Jack, who didn't like elaborate goodbyes at all. Yusei was more uncomfortable than usual because Aki was particularly morose. She pulled him aside to say her private goodbyes as Jack's fan club forced a group hug on him and vied for attention.

“So …” she said. “You're going with him?”

“Yes,” he said. It was obvious enough. There was an uncomfortable silence as Aki waited. _Why?_ “Someone has to go with him, you know,” he added, finally.

She looked confused. “I don't see why. Or why it has to be you.”

“Crow can't take time off and Bruno … well, there's no way Jack would put up with that. He still doesn't completely trust him. _You're_ not going. Anyway, someone has to go along if only to keep the budgets in check. It's probably actually cheaper for two to go, knowing Jack. He has absolutely no money sense at all. It just doesn't register on his radar.”

Aki looked skeptical. “That all sounds logical enough,” she said. “Everything you say about Jack always does. But no matter what you say, I can't help noticing that you spend an awful lot of time thinking about Jack, or doing things with Jack, or worrying about him … or …” she shook her head. “What I see is a bromance. And I don't think that any romance will ever compete with that bromance. Not for you, anyway.”

“Are you … are you breaking up with me?”

“No … but … I don't know where things are headed for us. I feel like we're starting to drift apart. I want to get closer, but whatever I do to try to do that, turbo dueling, whatever, it doesn't seem to help.” She sighed. “Maybe it's a good thing that you're going to be away for a while.”

“Maybe.” They walked back toward the group in silence for a few moments. Yusei didn't like to leave it like that. “I wish I could say something that would make you feel better,” he said.

“I don't want to hear lies,” she said simply. She reached up as though to kiss him on the cheek and instead whispered in his ear, “Don't worry so much. I don't hate him. It's how you feel. I don't think even he realizes it.”

_How I … feel?_

He stared at her for a moment and wanted to ask her a question he hadn't quite defined, but they had reached their friends.

Jack by now had disengaged from the clutches of Carly, Mikage, and Stephanie, and was now hovering as close to Crow and the twins as he possibly could in hopes that he could avoid a further entanglement. “Are you ready to board?” he asked, hopefully. “I want to check our D-wheels before we get settled.”

“That's a good idea,” he said. “Let me talk to Crow for one minute and we can get going.” He pulled Crow aside. “You're set to go then?”

“Considering that the WRGP has been suspended, I have delivery work full-time. Bruno's covering your repair work. There's not much more we can do to improve the D-wheels before it starts up again anyway, especially with you two out of the picture. Just don't ruin your D-wheels out there, OK?”

“OK, but they'll probably need a tune-up when we get back,” Yusei said. But the lay-off was a long one, considering all the damage Placido did. “You need healing, anyway, Crow. This break in the WRGP couldn't have come at a better time. For you and Jack especially.”

_Or for me._

_This will give me some time to figure out where I am with Aki_ , he thought as he said his final goodbyes to the group.

“Just find that new way of dueling, will you? I really want to put this money to good use, not a pleasure cruise,” said Crow.

Jack pulled Yusei free at last, saying, “Let's get out of here.” They grabbed their bags and headed up the ramp.

* * *

“So what was all that between you and Aki, anyway?” asked Jack, “or should I be asking?”

“It's OK. Frankly, she's a little put out that I came on this trip. She thinks that I spend too much time with you.” As he said it, Yusei wondered if he had said too much.

“Really.” Jack frowned as though considering things in an entirely new light. “I didn't think that we spent all that much time together. You seem to spend an awful lot of time with Bruno on the D-wheels … or out on repair jobs …”

“… and you spend a lot of time out doing … What _is_ it that you do, anyway?” Yusei had always wondered what Jack did when he disappeared during the day. Was it job hunting? Brooding? Riding? Working out? (He had to maintain that body of his somehow, and Yusei never saw him exercise.)

Jack favored him with a cryptic smile and said, “Oh, this and that.”

“Huh.” He was ever so happy Crow wasn't standing next to him to hear that particular remark. “Anyway, she thinks I give you priority over her.”

“Do you?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“It's a reasonable question. Do you make me a priority?”

“I … I don't think so.” But Yusei wasn't sure. When Jack had stormed out, it wouldn't have mattered whether Aki had wanted him to stay or not, he would have followed Jack. He had to make sure Jack was OK. What if things had been reversed? “But you are my best and oldest friend, you know. You're important to me … and I almost lost your friendship. I never want to go through that again. But I don't think Aki understands that. She called it a bromance.”

“ _Bromance_.” Jack chuckled.

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I always see you with girls trailing after you, but …”

“Oh, you think I should take advantage of some poor girl?”

“Ah, when you put it like that …”

“You know I think highly of this,” he indicated the entirety of himself.

“Uh, yes.”

“Do you think I'm just going to throw it around lightly?”

“I guess not …” Yusei said.

Jack looked out into the distance, at nothing in particular. “Remember when girls started noticing me?”

“Uh, Jack, girls have been following you around as long as I can remember.”

“You've known me since … what was I? Seven? Nine?”

“So?”

The slightest trace of color came to Jack's cheeks. It was true enough. Even then, he attracted attention. “In any case. Early on, I realized that if I paid attention to one of the girls, the other girls would be unhappy.” He frowned. “Even stranger, the girl I spent time with seemed to be unhappy too. Sooner or later, I'd say or do something … or they'd say something … Anyway, it would upset things.” He shrugged.

“You can be difficult, Jack, just ask Crow.”

“Are you sure it isn't the girls?” Jack frowned. “And not just girls. Everyone. If you decide to do something nice for someone … say, go to a movie that you wouldn't have gone to or eat at a restaurant that they like, pretty soon they think that you'll be there whenever they want you to be there or do whatever they want … Eventually, you're not the person you were.”

“But, Jack, you never change.”

“That's right. I won't change … not for some girl, and not for a friend. A real friend doesn't expect you to change who you are for them. You're really one of the few people who seem to accept that.” He stopped a moment. “And it's not just what you do, either.” He shrugged.

_You mean, it's who you are, Jack? They have an idea of who you should be?_

“Girls are happier chasing me than being with me, believe me.” He looked at Yusei. “In any case, I have more important things to think about right now. Maybe one day I'll be willing to think about romance, but right now I have to concentrate on dueling. I can't be wasting my time on distractions. I have to be the best duelist I can possibly be.”

“But, Jack … haven't you … er, don't you ever … I mean … then how do you …”

Yusei stopped himself, but it was too late, the words were already out, hanging awkwardly in the space between them.

“Yusei, are you trying to ask …?” Jack looked at him with surprised amusement. He lowered his voice and eyes as the color rose to his cheeks again. Looking at Yusei through a veil of blond lashes, he said, “If you absolutely must know, I'm self-sufficient.”

“You …”

Crow's salacious joke flashed to Yusei's mind—no, worse, an illustrated version of it—causing him to blush as well. Embarrassed, he felt the heat in his cheeks. How had this conversation gotten so far out of hand?

“No distractions,” he said shortly. He frowned again. “Really, Yusei. Why are we discussing this? I have more important things to think about.”

_Speaking of distractions ..._

“I'm sorry, Jack, I didn't mean to—”

“It's all right, just don't repeat it to Crow or …”

“No,” he said. He couldn't help but think what Aki might think of their conversation as he felt a the heat in his cheeks slowly diminish. “Definitely not. Let's see to our D-wheels.”

* * *

As they stood looking on with watchful eyes as their D-Wheels were stowed in the hold, Jack said, “You know, you really didn't have to come along just to babysit me.”

“I know,” Yusei said. “This isn't a babysitting mission to me. You're my friend. I want to see if I can help.”

“You're worried about me. I can take care of myself, you know.”

“I'm not saying you can't, Jack.”

“I'm not so sure that's true.”

“Look, I'm not doing anything that I wouldn't do for any other friend. Look how I went out of my way for Kiryu.”

“And look how I didn't feel like I had to traipse along on that one.”

“Until you did.”

“You were way overdue, Yusei! You think I'm just going to let you go missing for days on end? Especially when we have a tournament coming up?”

“Right, Jack. You weren't really worried at all.”

“Well, you're always on about how friends work together … I guess I wanted to check to see if things might go a little smoother with my help …” His expression had softened a little, but then he looked at Yusei seriously. “But I don't see how you can help me here. I need to find a new way of fighting, and the way you've found … it's not a way I can follow. The way I fight … I've always believed in power.”

“Maybe so, but I always liked to think that power came from something deeper.” _Your power_ … _your strength_ … Yusei wished he could do something, but Jack had a point. They were completely different, and so were their dueling strategies. “Think of it as an excuse to see Bommer then. I've been worried about how he's been doing since … you know.”

“Especially after you saw what happened with Kiryu?” Jack nodded. “Remember, though, Kiryu didn't have anyone.” _Before the kids, anyway_. Then he caught Yusei's eye with his own mischievous one and smiled. “Just don't let Crow catch you saying anything of the sort. As far as he's concerned, you're helping me out. He's in enough of a snit that _I'm_ going, let alone _you_.”

Yusei chuckled. “You're right about that, Jack.”

“Still, you could be getting things accomplished back in Neo Domino City,” Jack said. “Instead, you're here, checking the D-wheel storage with me.”

“It's nice to have a break, actually.”

“I could be doing this on my own.”

“Crow did insist that someone come along to watch the budget.”

Jack scowled. “I can be economical when I put my mind to it.”

“I know. You just don't put your mind to it as often as Crow would like.”

That didn't soften Jack's mood or expression much. They stood silently for some time watching the work progress. Finally, Jack observed, “You know, Yusei, you give so much of yourself to your friends. Do you ever do anything for yourself?”

_Is that what he was brooding about?_

Yusei thought it over. “I _like_ doing things for my friends, Jack. And doing things _with_ them, like we're doing now, with the WRGP. But … yeah … I guess … building my own D-wheel. And …” he hesitated a moment, not liking to bring it up, “coming to Neo Domino City to duel you. That was just for me.”

“Hunh.” Again Jack seemed to be chewing something over in his mind. Yusei didn't like this brooding. Bad enough that he was brooding about his game. But this other thing reminded him of …

“Jack—”

“Looks like the D-wheels are fine. I need to concentrate on my new strategy,” he said, and with that, turned on his heel and strode off. “I'll see you later.” Yusei decided it was best not to follow, although he wished he knew what had transpired inside that blond head. Not knowing what to do, he headed to the engine room to talk with the engineer.

**Chapter notes ...**

This started out as three mini-chapters, but I didn't think I wanted to post them that way. Too awkward. Hopefully the flow isn't too bumpy.

Crow's salacious joke: If this has slipped your mind, see Chapter 8.

Jack not liking elaborate goodbyes: You'd think he would, attention hog that he is, but I don't think so because (SPOILER, like you haven't been warned already) in the anime, he disappears after the WRGP without a goodbye. I think goodbyes remind him of the way he left Satellite, which makes him feel bad.

Bromances: I think we've all seen guys whose friendships with men are more important and deeper than their relationships with women, whether they'd consider a sexual relationship with a man or not (and whether they'd admit it or not). I find it a fascinating phenomenon.


	11. Overwhelmed

“Yusei, sure you don't want to come? It's going to be epic!” Jack called enticingly. He stood with Crow at the top of the stairs.

“Nah, it's my chance to see a real transmission come together, remember? Kurama-san promised.” Yusei hurried to catch up so he could walk out with them.

“Yeah, that's _so_ much more interesting,” Jack said dismissively, but Yusei smiled. Privately Jack had admitted that he admired Yusei's talents.

Yusei couldn't help but notice that Jack had adjusted the two long tresses of hair he had started growing at his temples recently. Up until now, he had brushed them back into his hair, but finally they had finally gotten long enough for him to tie up. They were down to his jawline now, secured with plain, wide black ribbons. “So, you've finally let them loose,” Yusei commented.

“You still think they'll make me look silly?”

“What did you say when I said that?”

“That _I'd_ make them look _cool_.”

“Well … I have to admit … you kind of do.”

“What did you say?”

“They look cool.”

Jack smiled for once and said, “This is nothing. Just wait until they're full-length.”

Crow huffed. “Don't you think his ego's big enough already? Keep this up and your ego can back you up instead of me.”

“Not that I'll need you.”

“C'mon, Jack, you can't face those guys without a second,” said Yusei. “They've got a reputation for fighting as well as dueling.”

“So do I, but fine, if you want. You're still going to catch up with us after your stint as grease monkey?”

“Yeah, round about noon.”

They bounced down the steps and parted at the end of the street, laughing and rough-housing.

It was good to see Jack like that. He had started to draw into himself more and more lately, putting on a very reserved, blank expression. You could get him to break it by making him angry easily enough, but getting the jovial Jack back had been a lot harder. What Yusei hadn't noticed was how it had affected his own manner. Jack's reserve was reflected in his companion its own way.

A few hours later, Yusei decided to head to his rendezvous with Jack via the rooftops as much as possible to avoid detection, in case the gang was still hanging about. Given his size and his known association, he didn't want to draw too much unwanted attention while he was alone. Lately, guys who wanted to call Jack out had taken to targeting Yusei, and he didn't want to be the cause of any extra trouble if he could help it.

The mechanical work had taken a bit longer than Yusei had hoped and he was a little worried that everyone would be gone by the time he got there. But there was something in the air … What if the action wasn't over yet?

Yusei picked up his pace.

As soon as he was within sightline of the location, he looked over the edge of the building he was standing on, panting lightly.

Jack was walking back towards Martha's. _Where was Crow?_ Yusei squinted, looking around. _Oh, he was … Right!_ He'd gone to play with the smaller kids. He smiled to himself.

Was the duel really completely over, already, aftermath and all? Maybe they didn't show.

_Or … !_

Maybe he'd better get down there. Right now!

Yusei didn't bother with the stairs, but instead whipped over what was left of a railing onto a rickety fire escape and hustled down as quickly as he could. He ran in the direction Jack was going to head him off.

… and got there just in time to see the ambush.

It was a good one—it had to be to catch Jack because he always had his eyes open—they were well-hidden and started by throwing rocks, one of which hit Jack squarely in the back of the head, not quite knocking him out, but slowing him down enough to put him at a severe disadvantage.

And then they were on him, kicking, punching and yelling.

Yusei ran harder, yelling as loudly as he could, but they ignored him. Yusei saw Jack drop and the gang move in with vicious enthusiasm. All at once, the boys stepped back in silence. All Yusei could hear was his ragged breathing and the soles of his shoes hitting the broken pavement as he closed the remaining distance. One of the gang poked Jack diffidently with his foot. “Y'don't suppose he's … dead, do you?”

They all looked at each other and then, as though with a single thought, ran off as hard as they could.

“ _Cowards!_ ” Yusei roared after them, but he was sincerely relieved that they were gone as he fell to his knees next to Jack, his lungs screaming for oxygen.

“Jack, Jack, wake up!” He didn't notice the tears streaming down his face as he checked Jack in a panic. He was totally out. What did they use? Boards with nails? There was so much blood! But still breathing … barely. Yusei had never felt so scared. “ _Crow!_ ” he screamed as loudly as he could. He couldn't leave Jack. Had Crow gotten too far away to hear?

Probably.

And Jack … somehow he was going to have to carry him back to Martha's.

_God, I hope nothing's broken_ , he thought, _because I can't leave him_.

The thought of leaving him there, alone, like that …

Grabbing one of his hands, Yusei hoisted Jack onto his back, then stood. He found himself staggering a little under the weight.

_Man, he really is bigger than I am._

The walk back to Martha's was the longest few blocks of his life. But, at last, he climbed the steps and pounded on the door.

Martha gasped when she saw them. “What on earth—Never mind, let's get him up to the infirmary, pronto.”

Martha didn't wait to call for anyone, but helped Yusei up the stairs with Jack herself. Yusei related what he'd seen as they went.

“So you're not hurt?”

He shook his head.

“Sure now?”

“Positive.” Not that he was entirely happy about it. _Thanks for rubbing it in._

“Well, I suppose it was bound to happen, sooner or later. Don't worry, Yusei, Jack's tough. He'll be just fine. You'll see.” But she looked worried all the same. “You go get yourself cleaned up. You don't want to scare Crow, do you? Besides, you can't stay and watch. Where _is_ Crow, anyway?”

When he got to the bathroom, Yusei looked at his face in the mirror and realized he'd been bawling the whole way home. His face was covered with blood and streaked with tears. No wonder Martha had taken the time to check on him too.

_I can't let Jack see me like this!_

_He'd think I was a total baby. A wuss._

Yusei scrubbed his face clean, then noticed that his T-shirt was drenched in blood as well and almost started crying again with the thought that all that had come from Jack. Blinking back tears, he pulled it off. _If Crow saw it …_ He clutched the thing in his hands for a few minutes before casting it into the sink. It was terrible … gory … yet somehow precious to him because it held part of Jack. Was he considering … saving it?

_Is this … Is this what it's like to go crazy?_

He forced himself to wash up as quickly as he could. Then he threw on a new T-shirt and headed out to find Crow. Every few steps he was tempted to turn back, but he had a good idea where he could find Crow so he got there as quickly as he could.

“Crow—”

“What happened?” Crow was hunkered down with a bunch of small fry, his adoring fans—the little kids were thrilled that a big kid was interested in paying them real attention—but the expression on Yusei's face immediately commanded his attention. “And what's that all over your pants? Blood?”

“Let's get back to Martha's. Now.”

“Sorry, guys, gotta go,” Crow said, sweeping up his cards. And so Yusei found himself relating the story all over again … reliving it. To keep from crying, he let himself get a little angry with Crow.

“Why didn't you wait until I got there?”

“You know Jack … and … he really is OK on his own … most of the time.” Crow turned a wide-eyed gaze onto Yusei. “You know he is. How could this happen?” A tear spilled out of one gray eye and ran down a freckled cheek.

“Damn it, Crow, don't cry about it or …”

Crow ran a sleeve over his cheek and said, “Sorry … it's just … Jack.”

“I know.”

They both ran the rest of the way home.

Martha was just coming out of the infirmary. “Martha …?”

“He has a concussion, blood loss … we'll have to see. If we had better blood supplies here in Satellite … but we found a donor. I'm worried about the concussion, though. If only he weren't still unconscious … Fortunately, though, they missed anything vital. But one of those kids had a knife. Stay away from them in the future.”

“Can we …?”

“Of course. He should see his friends when he wakes up, and I want someone there to call me. You have be quiet and let him heal, though. And make sure you don't miss any meals—and get your rest!”

Yusei and Crow entered the infirmary, where Jack was isolated away from the hubbub of the orphanage while he was recovering. The two pulled up a couple of chairs next to the bed.

“Uh … d'you want to play Duel Monsters while we wait?” asked Crow.

They tried that, but it was hard to concentrate and finally they sat silently, kind of staring at their unconscious companion.

Jack was so different this way. He lay completely still and silent, so unlike his usual self, his head wrapped in clean white bandages. His skin, usually paler than Yusei's (or anyone else they knew, really) now seemed even more so, pale as alabaster. Miraculously, the onslaught seemed to have completely missed his face, which he had somehow protected. Now he seemed to have taken on a strangely—knowing Jack—angelic aspect.

Without taking his eyes off Jack, Crow whispered, “You don't … you don't suppose he c-could … _die_ … do you?”

“ _Sshh!_ ” Yusei didn't want to think about it. “He's not going to die,” he said fiercely.

“Right. Jack's too tough.” But Crow didn't sound convinced. He sounded scared.

As scared as Yusei felt.

“Look, it's time for dinner. You should go down. I'll get something later.”

“But—”

“I'll be OK. Jack too. I'll call if something happens.”

“OK …” Crow sounded doubtful, but he left.

Yusei was a little relieved. He really wanted some time alone with Jack. Was it selfish?

All the way home, he'd had this panicky feeling. What if … what if Jack died? It seemed unimaginable. Jack seemed invincible. He made himself out to be that way, sure, but Yusei—up until now—had really believed it somehow. But now he knew that was just an illusion.

Martha said it was just a concussion, but what if Jack had a hemorrhage or something? He leaned close to Jack and whispered, “Jack, don't die. Don't die. Wake up.” He couldn't imagine a world without Jack in it, but he was certain that he didn't want to be part of it.

And as he leaned over, Yusei's breath caught one of Jack's tendrils of hair and moved it off his cheek. Yusei remembered picturing his own hair with a similar accessory and deciding it would look incredibly stupid. How did Jack get away with that? How did he make these things look ultra-cool—things that would make an ordinary person look incredibly stupid?

As Yusei was pondering this paradox, a memory came to him of how they had watched _Sleeping Beauty_ on Dr Schmidt's Internet connection once. Yusei blushed furiously at the thought, but Jack was prettier than any girl they knew, and proud as any prince.

_Why not?_

It was so stupid. It was so irrational, and Yusei would never do such a thing …

… _ordinarily_ …

… but this was Jack. The boy who would be King. The one with the big, impossible dreams. It was stupid, but Jack was different. Didn't he make the impossible possible? He made Yusei feel like maybe … just maybe _he_ could accomplish the impossible too.

He'd try anything.

As long as no one was looking.

Yusei looked around carefully, and listened even harder. The only sounds were the two of them breathing softly and the very distant sounds of the kids at dinner. He decided to hurry before things changed—and before he lost his nerve.

He leaned over and very carefully brushed his lips against Jack's.

He sat back immediately, his cheeks burning. Jack didn't seem to change at all, but Yusei …

_Why did I do that?_

He had fooled around with girls a bit, experimentally, and he was becoming really, _really,_ interested in them. But he'd had enough stray thoughts intrude to know he had some interest in boys. But mostly—well, almost all the time—those stray thoughts were about Jack.

He figured it was a phase.

Eventually, he'd get over it … right? That was what he'd always thought, anyway. It was because Jack was so good-looking, and they were always together, and because they were so close …

Right?

Especially with Jack getting taller … his shoulders broadening, emphasizing the way his waist tapered into the taut swell of his buttocks … and now those silly, cute, tendrils of hair … damn it …

But now, after everything that happened, after kissing him, ever so softly … now …

Even with no response whatsoever from Jack, this was completely different from fooling around with girls. All at once he was overwhelmed by the magnitude of the experience of real love: the tragedy of loss; the anguish of unrequitement; an astounding sense of pride and awe in your beloved; a consuming need to achieve great things to prove worthy of love in return:the joy and agony of discovering a breadth and depth of an emotion that is … ineffable.

He and Jack had talked about girls often **—** especially recently, considering that they were entering their teens—and he was pretty certain that Jack was heterosexual, so …

If anything were ever to happen, Yusei didn't want it to be “fooling around” or a “phase,” or some stupid mistake Jack wanted to forget and never bring up again. He wanted it to be serious, just like Jack's typical expression—like his outlook. Yes, were he to admit it, he wanted Jack to give him pleasure, but more, he wanted to return it, to see Jack's face contort with the need for it …

_He had to stop thinking this way!_ Jack was still—

He looked at Jack. While Yusei had been tying himself in knots, Jack had been slowly struggling towards consciousness. Joy surged in Yusei's heart. “Jack, wake up!”

Jack's eyelids fluttered, then finally opened.

“I feel like crap,” he said. Noticing Yusei, he went on, “Why are you staring at me like that?” He looked confused as his hands went to his head and felt the bandages there.

“Don't you remember anything?”

“Uh … I was walking with Crow to meet those Insect boys … then …” he frowned.

“You don't remember. They didn't show until after Crow left. Then they jumped you.” Yusei spoke slowly and carefully to keep his voice from breaking. He wouldn't allow himself to cry.

“Uh … oh … oh, then we've got to—” he tried to get up, but seemed incapable of the sudden movement, which turned into a mere upward twitch. “What—”

“Don't try moving. You've, uh, lost a lot of blood. And your head—”

“I still—I mean, they didn't …”

“If you're asking whether you're as handsome as ever, you are, Jack,” Yusei smiled. _How like Jack to worry about that_. But all these matters seemed trivial compared with what he wanted to talk about, but couldn't. “I'm glad you're going to be OK. I was really worried. We all were.” That was the best he could do.

“I had the worst dream …”

“Really? What about?”

“I—I don't remember it very well. Only … you were—you were in some sort of trouble and I had to save you. I had to go to a lot of trouble and when it was all over, when I talked to you, you said you didn't want my help. You pushed me away … You were so angry!”

“You saved me and I was angry?”

“Yeah … It was … not good.”

Yusei laughed. “It's because you were hurt. Maybe because I wasn't there to back you up.” Yusei turned serious. “I'm really sorry, Jack.”

“Why be sorry? You weren't supposed to be there. It's just a stupid dream. … But could you help me up to get a drink? I'm really thirsty.” He flushed with embarrassment at needing the help.

And Yusei was embarrassed by how every little aspect of Jack's demeanor pleased and fascinated him. He sat on the edge of the bed and helped Jack sit up. Then he handed him the cup.

“Damn, I'm weak,” he said. “I didn't feel this way this morning.”

“You hadn't had your head bashed in this morning.” Yusei had an arm wrapped around Jack's shoulders under his arms and was thinking how good it felt to be this close.

“Thanks, Yusei. Sorry about this, really.”

The door opened and Crow walked in. The two boys flushed a little even though nothing really was going on.

Crow colored as well at seeing them so close together and said, “I thought you were going to call me. How long have you been up?”

“'Up' isn't exactly the word for it,” said Yusei, “but just a few minutes. Could you get Martha?”

Crow grinned. “I see you have your hands full right now.” He scampered off.

“I'll never hear the end of this,” Jack groused.

“Just tell him he's just jealous. That'll shut him up.”

“Y'think?”

“It'll embarrass the hell out of him, so of course it will,” Yusei grinned.

_Because it's true._

It was the first time that thought sprang to his mind, and he shrugged it off then thinking it an echo of his own feelings—after all, Crow left to go to dinner, didn't he?—but the thought would return from time to time as the years went by.

As he helped Jack lie down again, he tried to identify the feelings surging through his body: relief; gratitude; happiness; and now, the beginnings of the realization that he was suffering the pangs of an unrequited longing. It might have been going on for a while now, unrecognized.

“What?”

“Huh?”

“The way you were looking at me just now. It looked like you meant to say something. I could almost hear it, you were thinking so loudly.”

Yusei could feel the heat in his cheeks as he said, “Nah, I was just thinking how lucky you are to be alive.”

“Luck, nothing. I'm tough.”

Well, he was right about that.

**Chapter notes ...**

Originally posted on Christmas (I know, fascinating).


	12. Déjà Vu

Captain Galt appeared at the railing and said, “You fellas better get on board now. We'll be shippin' out in a few minutes. With your gear aboard, everything's in and we want'a beat the weather.”

… which they didn't quite do. The pitching of the ship didn't sit well with anyone, especially Jack, who became quite seasick with the motion. Yusei would have been amused by this if Jack wasn't suffering so obviously.

Not that he said anything about it.

As usual, he took whatever pain he was suffering and took it with him to the deck, where he leaned over the railing. Yusei followed him, despite the pounding of waves and rain.

“Get below!” Jack insisted. “You don't need to catch your death as well, you know! Besides, this isn't exactly a pretty sight.”

“Jack, please. If anyone hasn't seen you at your best, it's me, and I think I can stand it.”

“You know I wouldn't do this for you.”

“Right, Jack.” Yusei was pretty sure that wasn't true. “Jack—” he said with feigned exasperation, “your _hair!_ ” Obviously Jack was feeling like crap because he was letting the long tendrils of his hair dangle over the railing, dangerously close to the line of fire. Yusei carefully gathered them and loosely tied them at the back of his neck. Then he gently lifted Jack's pendant over his head and placed it in his own pocket. “I think you're OK now,” he said, “ _relatively_.”

“Yeah … thanks …” Jack managed to choke out, and then his body rebelled. When he came up for air, he said, “Promise you won't mention this to Crow? I'd like to think that I can handle any kind of motion, but he'd never let me live this down.”

“This motion _is_ a little extreme, Jack.” Yusei put his hand on Jack's back as he gagged again.

“You seem all right.”

“You'll be fine once you get used to it.”

“Just give me … a couple of … months,” he gasped.

* * *

The next day was gray and drizzly. It was impossible to get out, so after Jack and Yusei checked their D-wheels in the hold to make sure they were still secured after the storm, they headed back to their cabin. Yusei settled back with a technical book, while Jack picked up an adventure novel. “That's your idea of a little light reading?”

Yusei sighed. “Maybe not, but I really don't have sufficient time to get to it at the garage. There's too much work, and dueling, and practice … and—”

“And you have to help out friends continuously.” Jack stuck his nose in his book, then suddenly dropped it. “I know why you tagged along,” he announced. “You wanted to catch up on your reading.” He leaned back, lifting his book again and looking quite pleased with himself.

Yusei began going through the engineering concepts and working the math in his head when Jack's thread of conversation started to go through his mind. He'd kept coming back to why Yusei had insisted on coming along. Jack, as usual, felt that Yusei's company was unnecessary because he was completely capable of taking care of himself. Meanwhile, Yusei was concerned about Jack and wanted to check in on Bommer—or was that just what he was telling himself? Could it be that he had to spend all his time helping out people who actually asked for his help (or had people ask for his help on their behalf, like Kiryu)? And when he wasn't doing that, he was spending time with Bruno working on their D-wheels? Or practicing dueling with 5D's … as a team? He just never got to spend time with Jack anymore, hang out with him as a friend.

_Was that really it?_ He glanced over at Jack and saw that he had dropped dead asleep almost immediately, and thought, _No wonder, he was up all night sick_. Yusei had finally gotten some rest at Jack's insistence. Yusei picked up his book again. In a few moments, he found that he was re-reading the same sentence for approximately the fifteenth time. He glanced over at Jack again, and dropped the book. _Just for a moment_.

He almost never got the opportunity to see Jack in such a vulnerable state. After all, Jack didn't like to put himself in a position where others had the advantage. And, particularly, where Crow could have the chance to play a prank on him.

_Ah, what a waste_ , Yusei thought, looking at Jack draped over the bunk, his long legs hanging over the edge. He had hung his jacket rather carelessly over a chair and was lying in his riding jumper. One hand, holding the novel, slowly spilled over the side of the bunk and the book it held began slipping out. Yusei leaned over to catch it only to find his face very close to Jack's.

Another rare opportunity, to examine that face with impunity. Yusei almost held his breath, trying not to wake his friend, wondering what Jack would think if he found Yusei examining him so closely, but he couldn't help himself. He hadn't realized it, but he really wanted to take a closer look. For example, how did Jack manage to fight so frequently yet keep his face in such a pristine condition? His pale skin was completely unmarked and looked as though it had never been exposed to severe sun. How had this visage made it through so many crashes untouched like this? How did this person come from Satellite? No wonder he had kept them fooled for so long.

As Yusei noticed, for the hundredth time, that Jack's fairness extended down to his eyelashes, Jack moved a little, his lips parting ever so slightly. Yusei suddenly realized how odd he must look, crouched and staring at Jack's face, close enough to …

Refusing to follow that train of thought, he put the book on the table between the bunks. Then he realized that the area around Jack was filled with a very pleasant but subtle aura.

His scent.

You'd have thought it would be something complicated, given that he'd moved to Neo Domino City from Satellite, but it was simple and light. Jack was still, heaven knows, a cleanly person, but he apparently didn't gravitate toward many scented products, perhaps choosing one or two that combined into some barely-there, mysterious, masculine scent … something coastal? Citrus-y? Spicy? That, and Jack's natural, clean skin. Whatever it was, it invited one in, begging to be breathed in like an ocean breeze and identified.

Rather than continue to hover over Jack, Yusei decided to hang Jack's jacket. As he did so, he surreptitiously stole a sniff of it. How did he manage to keep it smelling so good? He took a good whiff, keeping an eye on Jack to make sure that he didn't wake in the meantime. He sniffed his own jacket, already hanging in their tiny closet. Motor oil and a whisper of sweat. He grimaced.

He hung up Jack's jacket and sat down on the bed again, picking up his book. Why hadn't he thought to bring along some lighter reading? His thoughts kept creeping back to Jack. Finally, he gave in and looked over.

As though in answer to Yusei's action, Jack shifted slightly and Yusei noticed his eyes start to move beneath his eyelids.

_He's dreaming._

And with that, Jack's body began to respond. Yusei couldn't take his eyes away. Jack's jumpsuit was tight enough that his anatomy was hinted at.

_Why can't I stop myself?_

It wasn't fair to Jack, Yusei thought. He knew he should leave, that he should show Jack some respect, give him some privacy, but he just couldn't stop himself.

The fact was, no matter what Crow said about what a vain peacock Jack was, no matter how he might laugh about it and agree, no matter how the media might love to chuckle over him and call him a has-been …

Jack was beautiful.

Exciting.

Gathering up his remaining self-control, Yusei forced himself get up and reach for his own jacket. After putting it and his gloves on, he stepped out into a dense fog.

Cold shower?

Not quite, but it would do in a pinch. He sighed and stepped to the railing, gripping it as he stared into the gray.

_Not this again._

_This … obsession. This overwhelming emotion. Being unable to think of anything, anyone else_ … Is this really why he came on this trip?

_No, it was …_

He had this … sense … that something important was about to happen to Jack, that he had to be there to see … to help, if he could. And, if it were something that reached Jack's core, as he suspected, it would be unlikely Jack would tell him anything about it.

So … he had to come … to see.

_But wasn't there more to it? Wasn't it …?_

Even more, it was a chance to be alone … at last … for extended periods with his friend. He had thought about it a little and looked forward to it as an opportunity to solidify their renewed friendship.

_Friendship? Or …?_

Had he really been so blind to his own motives?

Growing up, Jack had always been the one who had been the best at everything—everything that mattered to kids in Satellite, anyway. Fighting, dueling, athletics. He was the bravest, the most willing to take risks, the tallest, the best looking in the flashiest way. The way he boasted, there were those who resented him, but Yusei found himself drawn in.

Jack could never compete with Yusei's intellect and didn't care to, but Yusei found himself chasing Jack, wanting to compete with him, become his equal in courage and dueling. Was it a need to defeat him, or a need to be recognized by him? Or was it just that Jack was the only one who could bring out the best in him?

But Yusei wasn't the only one chasing Jack. Even before he grew into his height, he stood out—blond, with that long, perfect physique, those unique violet eyes. Even then, not just girls, but older boys, teens, and even men—of the worst ilk—noticed him, how good-looking he was. How he showed off. And, especially, with girls in short supply in Satellite, many were much less selective about which gender they pursued.

Jack had to defend himself early and often.

Not just himself, either. Jack had anointed himself the defender of their little group, jumping in to defend Yusei and Crow from all comers who dared to harass them.

On Yusei's side, it was difficult to watch his best friend constantly targeted by people who cared only for what Jack could do for them. How he could make them feel. How he would look with them. Consequently, Yusei often joined in Jack's fights and duels.

“I can take care of myself!”

“Do you think I'm a weakling?”

Those phrases were almost mantras to Jack. He preferred fighting his battles on his own. But Yusei couldn't bear just standing by. Why? Why do that when he could lighten Jack's load by lending a hand?

But that was all part of what made him special, wasn't it? His insistence on fighting the toughest opponents all by himself? He was a born warrior, all heart and honor, fire and spirit. Maybe he didn't fight wisely, but he always fought well—at least, until Godwin entered the picture.

I might be the big winner now, Yusei thought, but it's still Jack who attracts the girls like flies to honey. His looks attract them, of course, but it's more than that. They can sense it. They can sense the heart and soul inside.

_Just like me._

_When he enters the room, when he comes to trackside, I just …_ know _he's there._

Yusei was glad of the chill because he felt feverish now.

Jack never asked for help; no, he insisted on doing things his own way and resisted help. He liked going his own way and allowed others to follow or not as they pleased. Crow claimed that he found these traits annoying and he had a point in a team setting, but …

It was Jack. All these things were designed to make him stronger. Did no one see what that strength was for? Or was he the only one? Yusei couldn't help but respect Jack for it … no, he had to face it.

_It's how you feel. I don't think even he realizes it._

_How I … feel._

… _Bittersweet …_

_Sorry, Aki._

He'd thought he'd gotten past it. Building the D-wheel, dueling him, beating him. Besting him. Friendship, love, betrayal, anger, revenge. He thought he'd finally found a way to be Jack's friend again, but it was all just a cycle, wasn't it? He'd just come around to the beginning again. You never really get over this sort of thing. Do you?

He was in love with Jack.

**Chapter notes ...**

[Deleted several housekeeping notes & how difficult this was to write. This could still probably be better.]

So far it looks like Yusei's getting stuck with all the angst, doesn't it? Don't worry, I'll be throwing Jack on the rack soon enough!

We may never know: The anime makes Jack out to have a large female following while Yusei doesn't seem to gain much of his own. Why is slightly mysterious.


	13. Constants

Jack and Yusei were dining with Captain Galt in the small captain's mess on the Scarlet Queen. Captain Galt had asked Yusei to explain the game of Duel Monsters to him and that conversation had taken up most of the meal. Jack had been uncharacteristically quiet during the course of the evening, listening to Yusei's explanations and sipping Captain Galt's excellent Chablis.

“Jack, have I left anything out?” Yusei asked at the end of his discourse.

“You've given an excellent technical overview of dueling,” he said simply.

“Oh, of course,” Yusei said with a sly smile. “I left out some of the most important aspects. Once you learn the rules, there's the rest of the game.”

“What do you mean?” asked Captain Galt.

“Why don't you explain it to the captain?” offered Yusei. “You're the expert, Jack.”

“Not at all,” said Jack. “You're doing so well.”

Yusei sighed. “Once you get into dueling, especially turbo-dueling, you come to understand that there's a lot more to dueling than just putting the right combos together. There's courage, understanding and respecting your opponent, and … trust.”

“Trust?”

“You need to trust your cards.”

“I-I'm not sure I understand you.”

“And yourself.” Yusei said this to Captain Galt, but he really meant this for Jack. He was afraid that Jack no longer trusted himself. _If only I could talk to you about this_ , he thought. You should be gaining confidence, not losing it. _You've left Godwin behind._ We _believe in you. You need to believe in yourself._ “It's hard to describe, but it's as though you have a relationship with your cards. You'll feel it if you get into the game. You need to trust your cards and yourself to pull things together in the heat of the moment.”

“Huh. That's quite interesting. Maybe I should try it.”

Yusei smiled. “It can become quite addictive, you know, so be warned.”

They laughed.

Jack and Yusei bid goodnight to Captain Galt after dinner and began a stroll along the deck. The sun was low in the west, splashing brilliant colors across the sky and water. The sea breezes freshened, lifting Yusei's spirits.

“Yusei,” Jack said, “you don't have to worry about me so much, you know.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know what you were saying back there.”

Yusei didn't bother replying.

“Jack,” he said, half afraid to broach the subject, “have you given any thought to what you might do after the WRGP?”

“You mean, _after_ we defeat Yliaster?”

_Or not._

He didn't say it, but it hung in the air.

“Right, after that.”

“No, not really. We're so busy now, and this is taking so much longer than we anticipated, that I'm just taking one thing at a time. I don't want to think ahead right now.”

“Neither do I.”

“I'm not sure … Why are you asking me, then?”

“I guess …” Yusei hesitated. He was afraid of the answer, but it was his nature to need to be prepared for the worst. He stopped and tried to think of a way to say it.

“Yusei …” Violet eyes lingered on his blue ones, looking particularly serious. “Right now, we have a lot to do. Things we need to do together, as a team. But, after that … One day, I'm going to leave. You know that.”

_Leave …_

Yusei felt himself stiffen, as his attention galvanized. Jack had left before and it had been horrible. He still didn't understand …

_Understand!_

Suddenly, Yusei realized he _did_ understand, and his train of thought jumped from one rail to another. Before he knew what he was doing, he had clenched his hands into fists and hissed, “Jack, you _bastard!_ ” One of his fists connected with Jack's well-toned stomach before Jack realized what was happening. The other, a roundhouse aimed at the center of Jack's face, was deflected by a swift counter-punch, but Jack was already crumpling from the effects of the gut-punch.

Jack, one knee and one hand on the ground, looked up with a frown and said, “What the hell was _that_ for? I didn't say I was leaving _today!_ ”

Yusei wasn't sure that he wasn't going to hit Jack again. “I just figured it out,” he said. “Sorry, I guess I'm just slow … or maybe it's just that only _you_ could have a reason like _that_ one for doing what you do. But …

“Who else but you … Who else but _you_ would betray his best friend to avoid saying goodbye?”

Jack eyed Yusei warily as he struggled to his feet. That gut punch came without warning. “What are you talking about? Weren't we—”

“I'm talking about Satellite. When you left, Jack.”

Jack stopped where he was, stunned by the change in subject, then finished standing and looked Yusei in the eye.

“You know what happened. Didn't I apologize for that? I don't think I can ever forgive myself for it, but I thought _you_ had forgiven me.”

“I had. I do. But, Jack, I could never really wrap my head around why you betrayed us. _Me_. Why you had to leave that way. Why threaten Rally? Why take my bike? Why steal my card? It's not like you ever used Stardust Dragon, except in the duel with me.”

“That was a test.”

“A test?”

“To see if I had done the right thing. I sacrificed everything to get out of Satellite and I had to know. I guess I knew in my heart that I hadn't, and that proved it. But, Yusei, we've gone over all this.”

“That's right. But we never talked about how you felt then. Why you did all that. And I never understood it.”

“How I _felt?_ Angry! Yusei, you didn't have to give up a thing, and you beat me, took my title. It was clear enough why I did it. Yusei, why—”

“Why dredge up the past? You said it yourself. Sooner or later, you're going to leave again.”

Jack remained silent. It was true enough.

“I think you don't like the complication of saying goodbye and dealing with bonds to close friends who aren't present. I think you don't like the loose ends. Godwin's ultimatum just made it that much easier. So you decided to just cut that bond, make a clean break of it and enemies of all of us. Oh, Jack …”

“That's the most ridicu—”

“Don't deny it. It's the only possible explanation.”

Jack closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, something behind them seemed to have remained closed. “Very well. Have it your way.”

“I'd rather not. Tell me, Jack.”

“What? You want to hear the entire pathetic story?” Jack started pacing, his hands clenched into fists, his brows knit into a frown. “Team Satisfaction! What a joke. Make that Team _Dis_ satisfaction. Crow walked out. I walked out. Kiryu …” It was obvious how unsatisfactory that outcome was. “You—you could barely look at me, let alone speak to me. You had your new friends and your shop. Crow had his kids. I'd be OK because I always was. But … Yusei, I need a challenge. Then, in Satellite, there was no one who could touch me. You came closest, and even you couldn't beat me. What did I have left there? Tell me.”

“I would have _given_ you my bike, Jack. Gladly.”

“Maybe. But I would have had to have asked … with you not speaking to me. And …”

“Then not only would you have that bond, you'd have a sense of obligation, and that would be _unbearable_ , wouldn't it?”

Jack said nothing.

“For god's sake, Jack, is it so bad to accept help?”

Jack ignored the question. “Then, one day, Godwin showed up. He offered me a way out of Satellite, but at a price. You know the rest.”

“His plan was to undermine you.”

“You think?”

“Sorry …” Jack was painfully aware of that now.

“Look, I refuse to wallow in guilt and misery—”

“And I don't want you to—”

“Then why are you bringing this up? Things have changed.”

Except for the prospect of Jack's departure. It was just so very hard to accept. Still, he said, “You're right, Jack. I'm sorry to keep dwelling on it. It's just …”

“Just what?”

“Never mind.”

Yusei felt he had to be right about this. But if that was so, why did the terrifying feeling that he was missing something important linger on as they walked back to their cabin in silence?


	14. Rush

**Initial note:** This is where the warning comes in; see end notes.

Jemma was one of Jack's more recent and prettier castoffs.

Frankly, Yusei was surprised to see her approaching. After all, she knew that he was one of Jack's two best friends. It was as though she had waited especially to catch him without Jack. Or …

“Hi, Yusei,” she said shyly.

“Uh, hi Jemma,” he said. She had never really paid him any attention before. He wondered what was going on. “Looking for Jack? He's playing second to Crow today. He should be at about 5th Street and Broadway.”

“I don't care where he is as long as he's not here,” Jemma said a little too casually. “You know, I've been way too into Jack. I don't know what I was thinking.” She gave him a little smile. “I guess I'm growing up.”

“What are you trying to say?” asked Yusei. “Are you saying that you want to …?” He was kind of surprised. The kind of girls who trailed after Jack didn't tend to be the kind of girls who were interested in him.

“Well … now that you mention it,” she said, still maintaining a certain shyness, “yeah. Could we …?”

“I guess we could grab a bite and walk along the shore,” Yusei said.

As they headed down to a street vendor on the not-so-pristine streets of Satellite, Yusei considered the situation. What would Jack think if he dated a recent ex? But Yusei couldn't help wondering. What could he learn about Jack—his attitude towards these girls, how they feel about him, what happens between them—by talking to this girl?

Was it unhealthy? Probably. But he couldn't seem to help himself.

They picked up some satai and headed for the strand.

“Yusei,” Jemma said, grabbing Yusei's arm and leaning her head on his shoulder, “how long have you and Jack been friends?”

“Uh, as long as I can remember. Ever since I got to Martha's.”

“So you're his best friend?”

“I hope so. I thought you weren't interested in him?”

“Right. It's just … you're so _different_ from him.”

Yusei wasn't sure to take that as a compliment or not. “In what way?”

“You seem interested in what I have to say, for one thing.”

“Jack wasn't?”

“He'd … well, he'd go on and on about his plans and what he wanted to do. Then he'd ask me what I wanted to do, and I'd start telling him … and then …” she frowned.

“Then?”

“He was a total jerk, that's what. He'd walk out. He had no interest whatsoever in listening.”

“So what were your plans?”

Jemma turned bright red. “They were stupid, immature,” she whispered. “I've grown up now.”

“C'mon, you can tell me.”

“No, let's walk.” She smiled at him brightly, but Yusei felt that the smile was fake.

As fake as he felt walking beside her.

They walked in silence for a little while. When they came to a certain spot Yusei knew, he stopped and said, “This is a place I like to watch the moon rise. Do you want to do that?”

“Sure!” She looked at him with a bit of relief.

They watched as the light of the moon rippled over the water, and Yusei shot Jemma a smile only to find her face hovering right in front of his own. Before he could react, her lips had contacted his.

He closed his eyes instinctively and felt her hands slip around his head. The combination of surprise and sensation was so intense that it set his thoughts swirling, but for some reason one burned brightly in the chaos: _Perhaps Jack had kissed these lips_.

Then: _What would it feel like to kiss Jack?_

Suddenly the last semblance of coherent thought vanished. He found himself kissing passionately, his eyes tightly shut, his arms wrapping tightly around the person he was kissing.

The hands on his head moved down his body to his waist and everything swirled away into a maelstrom of uncontrollable sensation.

Minutes later, Yusei found himself looking into a pair of satisfied brown eyes.

Waves of confusion washed over him. _Brown_ eyes?

_Oh God+, Jemma!_ He hadn't meant for it to go this far.

Had he … had he called out …? He scrutinized her face. Thank God, no. It would have been so embarrassing had she heard him call out Jack's name and surely it would be written all over her face. At least his embarrassment was limited to that extent.

Jemma grinned. “Thanks, Yusei. I can't wait to tell Jack I did it with you.”

“What?”

“Oh, boys are so stupid. You think I did this because I'm interested? No, you're his _best friend_. I want to get back at that jerk!”

Yusei was on his feet running so fast that he couldn't remember pulling his pants up.

_Who was using whom here? Serves me right …_

“C'mon, at least wait until I get there before you tell him!” Jemma was following, but she was already far behind. Yusei had to at least be the one to tell Jack first.

“What the hell—” It was Jack, who caught sight of Yusei running up Broadway. Crow was still throwing down in the alley entrance. “You look like the devil's on your heels.”

“Sorry, Jack. I—” Yusei was gasping for breath and had to put out a hand to lean on Jack's arm.

“Just take your time. But what's the hurry? Is someone chasing you?” Jack squinted over Jack's shoulder into the darkness.

Yusei shook his head, waving his free hand. “I-I'm OK, it-it's just … I—I ran into Jemma tonight—”

“Jemma?” Jack looked clueless for a moment, then, “Oh, right. Jemma. We broke up. But … why—”

“Right. We, uh, she sort of …” he felt the heat rushing to his cheeks.

Jack's face brightened in realization. “Oh.” Then he frowned ever so slightly. “So why did you rush over here to tell me about it? It's not my business.”

Yusei looked into Jack's face. It was completely open and curious. There wasn't a hint of jealousy or anger in it. “Uh, Jemma kind of threw herself at me. Turns out she had the idea she was getting revenge on you for dumping her.”

Jack laughed. “Is that so? I'm sorry, Yusei.”

Stunned by Jack's reaction, Yusei echoed, “Sorry?” It didn't make sense.

Jack looked at him carefully. “I always took you as the sort who wanted a 'relationship,' not just fun. I'm sorry she was being dishonest. You don't deserve that.” He looked out into the darkness again. “Do you want me to have a talk with her?”

“N-no. It was—I was partially at fault for what happened. I was … curious, you know?”

He felt the heat touch his cheeks again as he remembered how his thoughts were consumed with Jack as … And he was right here, standing in front of him now.

Jack chuckled. “Just let me know if you want any of my other castoffs. I'll send them your way.”

“Uh, Jack …”

“Yeah?”

“Did you ever …?”

“No. All she ever did was go on and on about how I was going to marry her and settle down in a nice house somewhere. As if that's even possible in Satellite. She didn't want me.” He shrugged.

Yusei laughed.

“What?”

“Funny how things happen,” Yusei said.

Jack looked confused, but how could Yusei explain the irony? Both he and Jemma wanted Jack and ended up in each other's arms, while Jack had no one. He had to laugh or else he would have had to cry.

 

**Chapter notes ...**

So, this is where the story warnings, if I chose to make them, would have come into play, and it would have been "Underage," since Yusei (and probably my OC Jemma as well, is likely underage here. As far as I know (although there might be some sort of concordance somewhere, I don't know), it's not indicated in canon (the anime) exactly how old Yusei et al are at any juncture. However, at the time of Team Satisfaction, they must already be teens, so I'd estimate Yusei must be 15 at the youngest (and probably 16) at the time Jack leaves, making him 17 at the youngest (and probably 18) at the time he leaves Satellite, which makes them really the oldest bunch of heroes in Yugioh, but that 2-year gap really does it, doesn't it? Anyway, back to subject. At this period, just before Team Satisfaction, wow, yes, underage experimentation. I really thought it was a pretty minor point to put a warning on the whole story, but technically, it fit the warning. Anyway! Hope this didn't offend.


	15. Breaking

Yusei awoke early to find that Jack had awoken even earlier and was already taking his shower.

_If you must know, I'm self-sufficient._

Why did he have to ask that? It was bad enough that they couldn't afford more than one cabin, which meant he was in close quarters with Jack, which meant certain, er, _stresses_ were heightened as it was …

But that statement had a way of finding its way into his mind every morning, calling up certain _associations_ that brought up certain _responses_ …

Yusei sighed. This simply had to be dealt with, and quickly. Jack had his rituals, and Yusei was developing his own. It was so much easier to pretend that Jack was an ordinary friend when they were both at Poppo Time, where he could maintain a certain distance. This obsession, this _need_ , was embarrassing, and could potentially destroy their friendship in the long run.

He'd have to find a way to work it out. Maybe he could find a new balancing point once they got back to Neo Domino City.

Fortunately, Jack needed time to put his hair back in order after a shower, so by the time Jack quietly exited the head, fully dressed, Yusei had calmed his breathing and was able to pretend that he was still asleep. Jack slid on his duel gauntlet and slipped out the door, allowing Yusei his turn in the shower.

* * *

Jack was glad to get out on the deck for a morning walk alone. It had been good to get some time with Yusei, but there was also such a thing as too much of a good thing. At Poppo Time, he often got the impression that Yusei was spending far too much time with Bruno and they were getting way too close for his taste. He still had his doubts about Bruno―he couldn't help it. For a guy who showed up out of nowhere, he was way too useful.

But now, on this ship, in one small cabin, he and Yusei seemed crammed in too close. Funny, that never seemed to bother him when they were stuffed in with all those other boys at Martha's, but he guessed things had changed. He hadn't anticipated the kinds of problems that might arise.

For example, he now regretted his admission to Yusei regarding his intimate morning routine, but Yusei had asked and … why be coy? Yusei didn't have to look very closely to ascertain that Jack didn't have a steady girlfriend and he'd rather Yusei know the truth than assume that he either took unwarranted risks with strangers or had an unhealthy lack of sex drive. Why he would be concerned about that, though, he had little idea.

Jack might not be that concerned with Yusei knowing what he did, but Yusei knowing Jack's routine and Yusei sitting in the next room waiting impatiently for him to finish it were two different things. Even if he got up before Yusei, it was hard not to picture him awake. After all, he hardly ever slept in Neo Domino City. It made it kind of hard to relax.

And then, random thoughts of Yusei kept intruding when …

… at the most inconvenient possible time.

Jack tried to push these disturbing thoughts from his mind. He had more important things to think about. He always knew his priorities and his first one was getting into fighting shape. He couldn't afford to be distracted, especially not by inappropriate thoughts about his best friend. Wasn't what he'd already been going through embarrassing enough?

* * *

Later, Yusei found Jack at breakfast. As Yusei sat down with his plate of food, Jack had already pushed his plate aside and was thumbing through his cards, examining each one in turn.

As if he didn't have them memorized.

“Do you want to duel?”

“We've already had plenty of practice duels lately.”

_Which haven't gotten you any closer to a solution, have they, Jack?_

But Yusei had another lingering worry. He kept glancing up from his plate, trying to divine whether Jack was angry about their argument the previous day. Was it better to just let it go, or say something?

“What?”

“I'm sorry,” he confessed, “I was just thinking about our … argument yesterday.”

“Forget it. I have.”

“Good. I don't want it to get in the way of what you need to do. But—”

“Damn it, Yusei, can't you leave well enough alone?”

“I just wanted to say, I shouldn't have punished you for being honest with me. I don't like the idea of you leaving, but you told me. That's … better. I shouldn't have gone off on you for it.” He rushed on before Jack could say anything. It was hard enough to say these things. “And … thanks. You didn't have to tell me how you felt. After the break-up, I mean.”

As they took care of their dishes, Jack said, “Like I said, forget it. It's all past.”

They headed out for a walk. “Speaking of Team Satisfaction, I spoke with Kiryu just the other night, right after packing. He asked after you, you know? Everyone's thinking about you.”

Jack frowned. “It's the WRGP.” Sore subject. No matter the courage or honor he displayed, Jack could only focus on the fact that he had a bad showing against Team Unicorn.

“It's not that—”

“You're not going to tell me he had a dream, too, are you?”

“No, nothing like that, but when I said what we were planning, he said he had a bad feeling. I think it has to do with the fact that both he and Bommer were both Dark Signers.”

“This is the sort of thing that gave me reservations about going down there in the first place,” Jack said. “This whole load of supernatural bullshit. First it's dreams, now it's premonitions?”

“But … Kiryu …”

“Honestly, I still like Kiryu. He saved us back in Satellite. But—not that I'm the best judge of this, mind you—he doesn't make the best decisions in the world.”

Yusei laughed. “I guess you're right. Anyway, he said that he was glad I was coming along.”

Jack snorted. “Oh, that's rich.”

 _Huh? Where'd that come from?_ _Is it related to our earlier argument?_ “I don't understand what you're getting at,” Yusei said, confused.

“I just would've thought he would have a little more consideration for you by now.”

“I'm still … What are you talking about?”

“Do I really have to spell it out? It's just that Kiryu has a foreboding … and so he's glad you're along to throw yourself into the teeth of danger? It's like he just can't get enough of that.”

“Ja—”

“First, the end of Team Satisfaction, then as a Dark Signer, finally, in Crash Town?”

“Don't be unfair. He's just glad you have backup, Jack. Don't be unfair. He—he thought I turned him in.”

“I know—and I've forgiven him, but … it's frustrating. He's crazy—he must still be at least a little bit, considering what happened … and _still_ he's the one you listen to.”

 _What?_ “Again, I'm not quite getting where this is coming from.”

“I really don't want to get into this.”

Now Yusei was starting to get angry. “Wait a minute, Jack, you brought this up. You never said a single word about feeling—”

“OK, Mr _Friendship_ , you want me to tell you how I _feel?_ How I _felt?_ You were never interested before.” Jack spun on his heel, turning away so Yusei couldn't see his face, realizing that he'd said far more than he'd intended to.

Yusei felt overwhelmed and bewildered. Where _was_ this coming from? “I … If you had feelings like this, why … why didn't you say anything?”

“Because _I'm_ not like _Kiryu_.” Jack was agitated now, pacing.

“Wait a second, Jack. You walked out on him, remember? There's nothing—”

“Yes. I didn't agree with his dishonorable plans, so _I_ walked out.”

“You walked out, Jack. You and Crow. Someone had to help Kiryu.”

Finally turning to face Yusei again, Jack said, “Right. And we all know how that worked out.”

Yusei shook his head. Jack was trying to steer the conversation away from the issue of his feelings. “Jack, I'm not going to let you get away with it this time. Say what you're thinking.”

“You have a right to make your own decisions!” His voice lowered suddenly from a shout to a mutter. Yusei could barely make out when he said, “No matter how stupid they are.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“You think sticking with Kiryu was stupid?”

“Not as stupid as—” He stopped himself again, unwilling to reveal so much.

“No, Jack, you started this.”

“Fine.” Jack stood like a duelist, looked Yusei straight in the eye, and said slowly and clearly, “Not as stupid as throwing your life away to save someone who is planning on getting himself killed anyway.”

Yusei looked down and closed his eyes for a long moment. “You know that I didn't mean for any of that to happen.”

“So you didn't leave me with Kiryu and tell me to help him escape while you turned yourself in for a crime you didn't commit—one, by the way, that was practically guaranteed to put you away for life if not get you killed in the Facility?”

Yusei said nothing. He couldn't deny that.

“I don't suppose you ever considered how I might feel about that.” Jack studied Yusei's face and nodded. “I thought as much. … And then … there was … after.”

Yusei stood staring at Jack, slightly stunned. _How Jack felt?_ _Had_ he considered how Jack felt? Kiryu had been dragged off to the Facility. He, Jack, and Crow had tried and failed to see him time and time again until they had given up, and all through that time, the tension between Yusei and Jack had increased. He had been so worried about what Kiryu was going through; he was so unstable. How Kiryu would cope.

Well, apparently, he hadn't.

But, there was still Jack, and … Had he ever tried to see things from Jack's point of view?

Yusei had never gotten the full details about why Jack hadn't gotten Kiryu out. He'd been relying on Jack as never before, and the one time he really needed him, Jack failed him. “It was just the fallout from the bad way Team Satisfaction ended. I guess … I—”

“You blamed me for what happened to Kiryu, didn't you?”

“I wouldn't go that far.”

“I would. It wouldn't cross your mind to blame Crow, but you blame me. You didn't even ask. You just assumed that I handed him over, didn't you?”

Had he? Why hadn't there been the same strain between Yusei and Crow after Kiryu was taken away? But he had no time to puzzle it out. “Come on, Jack, I blame _myself_ for what happened to Kiryu. I don't blame y—” he began, shaking his head vigorously, but Jack cut him off.

“Don't bother. If you weren't angry with me, you would have come by. You would have … _something_.”

“If this is about Rally and the gang, don't be unfair! I have a right—”

“Did I tell you who to hang out with? Do I ever? It's your choice, Yusei. But don't expect me to whine if you don't come by to see me anymore.”

“Jack—” Yusei took a step forward, lowering his voice to a soothing tone. “You realize that I was doing all this to try to help him, don't you?”

“Yes, but you do realize now that he couldn't _be_ helped? That he didn't _want_ to be stopped? He didn't think he needed to be stopped, Yusei, and with you there … He thought you were backing him up, cheering him on. That you'd be there for him when the chips were down.” Anguish distorted his features. “Like you'd always been there for me. And you still tried … that's the sick thing …”

“… and all it did was backfire,” Yusei admitted.

“All you could think of was _him_ , a guy you didn't even call Kyosuke, when I thought we—we were—” Jack stopped himself, putting his hands to his head. “Forget it,” he said finally. That's all past now.”

“No, what?” _We were_ … _what, friends? Of course we were friends_. Trying to help Kiryu never changed that. He stared at Jack, perplexed. Why did he look so torn up?

“No.” He shrugged and tried on an unconvincing smile. “We've already settled all this stuff. I don't know why we're discussing it. Did I bring this up? Stupid of me.”

“Hang on a minute. I—I never did ask you or Crow what happened with Kiryu—why you couldn't help him escape.”

Jack snorted, beginning to turn, but Yusei grabbed him. “No, I'm going to hear it.”

“Now. Great.” Jack's hands were beginning to tighten into fists, so Yusei was afraid he was in for a beating, but he really wanted to find out what was behind all this. “You mean we couldn't _make_ Kiryu escape, don't you? Kiryu wanted to stage a rescue, and besides, he was still out for blood. The moment he saw the lights, there was no stopping him. We fought, but by the time Crow arrived … well, Security was too close. They heard the scuffle and the next thing we knew, all three of us were in custody.” He gave Yusei a pointed look. “And then you blamed me for what happened. You were fine with Crow, but you were angry with me.”

“What? No, like I told you, I blamed myself!”

“Then what was it? You blamed yourself, so you decided not to talk to me?”

“I—” But Yusei didn't know what he was about to say. Why had it been so much easier to keep things going with Crow? _Had_ he blamed Jack? But why would he, and why would he pick on Jack particularly? Because he saw Jack as a leader? He looked to him to be able to control Kiryu? He had trusted Jack to follow his wishes? Because he expected Jack to come through for him when the chips were down, no matter what?

Or … was it because he'd walked out? Leaving Yusei to deal with Kiryu alone?

Or … was it just that he'd left?

Or … there was Jack. Could the distance really be partly Yusei's responsibility? Had he really chosen to let Jack brood, stew in his own juices? Whatever he had been going through then … it had to be trivial compared to what Kiryu was facing, to the guilt that Yusei was dealing with … right?

Had he—had he been so completely oblivious to the agony suffered by the one person he cared about most?

But hadn't Jack always been the hero of his own epic, going it alone? Fighting his own battles? Yusei had always believed that there was nothing he could do for him even if he wanted to. Could it be that he actually needed the support of his friends? Of Yusei?

Icy fingers gripped his heart.

He looked at Jack only to see a pair of serious violet eyes staring back at him with piercing intensity. _I'm waiting_ , they said.

“I—I really don't know,” he confessed.

“You don't know,” Jack repeated. “You don't know why you wouldn't speak to your good friend and just moved on with your shiny new friends.”

“You know how it was, Jack. After we couldn't visit Kiryu, we all wanted to put Team Satisfaction behind us.”

“And everyone in it.”

“Jack. Did you really think I was walking out on you to be with my new friends?”

“No. That had already happened.”

 _Kiryu_ … “That wasn't how it was, and you know it!”

 _But that wasn't how it_ felt _, was it, Jack?_

It came to Yusei that Jack must have felt like he had done the right thing only to be rewarded by losing all his friends. That friendship inevitably led to pain and loneliness in the long run. Eventually your friends walk out on you for no good reason.

“ _Crap!_ Oh, Jack, were you—with Rally—were you trying to show me what I had been doing with Kiryu?”

“Don't be stupid, Yusei. I was trying to get out of there. I was trying to move on.” He paused, as though something was stuck in his throat, and then said, “ _You_ did.”

“Yes, but Rally was your _friend_ —”

“You wanted to be Kiryu's friend, didn't you? But in his state, he was incapable of being a real friend.” Jack's looked Yusei squarely in the eye, his face hard as stone. “I wasn't Rally's friend. He was _your_ friend.”

 _Like I was … like_ I _was supposed to be_ your _friend?_

“Who cares? It's old news.” Jack turned again to stare out at the water. “And you won. Doesn't that prove me wrong? I threw away everything to get out and move on and I was wrong.”

“Jack, it's not that simple …”

“Isn't it? I'm a duelist.”

“Wait—”

But Jack had turned on his heel without so much as a further word, his patience with the conversation at an end.

 

**Chapter notes ...**

Historical note: Originally posted on New Year's Day.

_with Rally … trying to show me_ : I'll bet this bit is confusing, huh? (Because I confuse myself with it, frankly.) For those who'd like more explanation, here goes. Symbolically, it's about setting your friends adrift; not tending to your bonds. Literally, Jack befriended Rally only to set him adrift (a betrayal). Yusei asks if he meant to show him that this is what happened with Kiryu: In other words, he re-casts the scenario for Team Satisfaction, with Jack = Rally, Kiryu = Jack, and Yusei = Yusei. Yusei pictures Jack as seeing Kiryu as having betrayed him and the group. However, Jack points out that “[Rally] was [Yusei's] friend,” effectively switching the dynamic so that Jack = Yusei and Yusei = Kiryu (in the break-up of Team Satisfaction). Jack feels that Yusei set Jack adrift while he tended to Kiryu, a lost cause. Does this mean that Jack is saying he was a "lost cause" at the time of his departure from Satellite? Or that he considered himself one at that time? (Discuss.) Clear as mud? I thought so! ;)


	16. Oblivion

Team Satisfaction had not only won their duel against Team Oblivion, but they had scored a cache of sake, something not easy to come by in Satellite. Kiryu declared the evening a celebration and the sake the centerpiece thereof. “We might as well use it,” he declared. “Before someone steals it!”

“Well, no one would win it from us, that's for sure,” Jack observed. “They'd _have_ to steal it.”

“Do the honors, won't you, Yusei?”

Long before the sake ran out, the four were way past tipsy.

“D'jou see 'em run?” Kiryu asked, reeling. “They were so … _pissed!_ ”

“ _You're_ pissed,” slurred Crow.

“Look who's talking,” commented Jack. He'd never seen Crow like that. “Do we really have to drink all of this in one sitting?”

Crow pushed Jack's shoulder and ended up falling against his chest. Jack looked a little annoyed, but picked him up gently under the shoulders and placed him back in his ragged chair. Crow smiled. “Pretty Jack.”

“ _What?_ ” Jack boomed amidst peals of drunken laughter from Kiryu and Yusei.

But Crow had passed out. He had tried to keep up with the others, drink for drink, but he was much smaller and was the most affected. Jack shrugged, deciding he must not have heard right.

“We've done great,” Kiryu said. He gathered Jack and Yusei in an alcohol-scented bear hug. “You know, I think this is our best celebration yet.” He frowned slightly. “Yusei, aren't you having fun?”

Jack looked over toward Yusei. He had been getting more and more quiet as the drinks had gone around.

“Yeah …” he said. “I've just been thinking …”

“Well, stop that,” Jack said decisively. “A celebration is no time for reflection.”

Kiryu then announced, “I don't feel so good,” and headed for the bathroom.

“Uh, Yusei,” Jack said, “why don't we get some air?” He didn't like Yusei's color. If he got sick it was better outside.

“Yeah, let's.”

They went outside onto the roof, where there was an old, weather-beaten stuffed chair. Jack tossed himself into it carelessly, saying, “This old thing … probably should be thrown out.”

“Just like everything in Satellite.” Yusei attempted to sit on the arm of the chair, but lost his balance and ended up falling against Jack.

“Give it up,” Jack said, putting an arm around his friend and allowing him to slide into his lap. “Face it, you're drunk. I think we can make allowances this once.”

Yusei blushed furiously. “Jack …” he protested, “Jack … don't …” But he let Jack support him.

“What's wrong with you? You can't even sit up straight. I'm just helping you.”

“No, it's … it's just …” Yusei gave up and slumped against Jack's chest. “My head is spinning.”

“That's what I'm trying to tell you. Just sit still before you upchuck all over me.”

“'K, Jack.”

They sat in silence for a minute, Yusei's head resting against Jack's shoulder and his arms around his neck, Jack supporting his unsteady body with one arm. At last a tear rolled down Yusei's cheek and he mumbled, “It's not fair.”

“Huh? What's not fair?”

“All those girls … following you around all the time.”

“That? Don't envy me that. Didn't I tell you before? It's … disappointing.” He sighed, looking out over the roofs. “What I want … is someone worthwhile, someone worthy …”

“Something worthy of a King?” Yusei mumbled, then smiled. “King Jack.”

“Huh? Yeah, I guess so.” He shook his head. “There aren't any girls like that here. Anyway, I haven't found one yet.”

“I've seen girls sob over you.”

“I don't know why, I don't make any promises. Right now, I don't even date.”

“That's why they're sad. You just don't realize the … _effect_ … you have on … people.”

“I don't know … what do you mean?”

“It's like … I dunno … you're more alive … more _real_ … than other people. Like you came from some other place, or something. It's the way you approach dueling—no, _life_. Don't you see that people want to get close to you to have some of your spirit rub off on them?”

As Jack tried to figure out how to respond to this, Yusei buried his face in Jack's shirt.

_What the hell? Is he …_ crying?

“I'll bet boys cry over you, too … in secret,” Yusei continued.

“Boys? W-what are you talking about?”

“You know that boys are interested in you … even … Jack,” Yusei's grip on him tightened, “not j-just th-those men, but boys you know. Boys l-like m-me.”

“W-what? I don't get you.”

“I can't help it. I love you, Jack …” Yusei's voice was low, slurred. “I _need_ you.”

Jack frowned, his own head was buzzing, but he couldn't quite understand it. Was he … was he saying he wanted Jack to …? “You're drunk, Yusei.”

“No … Jack … You need to know. Yeah, I've fooled around, but … I'm not just interested in girls. There's you. Always you. I can't stop thinking about you. All I want from them is … a good time. All our friends … I want to help. They need me, and I love it. It's satisfying, but … but _you_ … you don't need me. I need _you_.”

At last, Yusei looked up, his large blue eyes filled with tears, letting Jack's bewildered face reflect in them. And, before Jack could react, he moved his lips to Jack's jawline and kissed his neck gently.

It felt … surprisingly good.

But Yusei was drunk. Jack grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away gently. “Yusei, no, you're drunk … I … I don't know what …”

“It doesn't change things …”

“It means that you're saying things you might not say sober.”

“But I need to know. How you feel.”

“I …” How _did_ he feel? There were people he cared about here in Satellite, but Yusei was the only person he would really miss if he left tonight. And he would miss him … so much …

_Someone worthwhile …_ _worthy …_

He looked at Yusei. He was drunk, unsteady, letting Jack hold him up by his shoulders, staring at him with sleepy, desperate blue eyes. He was hardly at his best, but Jack felt a tremendous upwelling of emotion for him. So often he had envied Yusei's clear intellect, his invention. He even admired his Duel Monsters strategy. Yusei strove so hard to beat him and Jack saw the potential that one day he might even do it, if he built the trust in his deck that he required. Yusei had always been there, chasing after him … Had it been anyone else …

Had any other man kissed him like that a fistfight would have ensued. But Yusei …

“Honestly … I can't think right now … but …” He trailed off, shrugging. “I don't know.”

“Then … maybe?” Yusei said hopefully.

“I don't know.”

“Then …” Yusei struggled against Jack's grip, obviously wanting to kiss him again, but Jack only pulled Yusei into a hug, pinning him against his chest so that he couldn't move.

“Then you can wait until tomorrow, when you're thinking clearly. B-but, Yusei, you know how I feel.”

“About me?”

“About Satellite. Soon we'll have control of all the districts. We won't have any duel gangs left to fight. And then … then what? I need a challenge. And Satellite … I need to get out, or find something … worthy. If I don't, I don't know what'll happen. I'll go crazy. Or something.”

“Then I'll help you. We'll figure it out. Together.”

“You will? You'd do that?”

“Of course I would. I promise. You're my best friend.” His words were beginning to slur more as he was getting more sleepy. “But, Jack, whatever happens … between us … I don't want it to ruin our friendship.”

“I would never let that happen.”

“Promise me.”

“I'm really your best friend?”

“Of course, Jack.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

Yusei yawned. “You're my best friend, Jack. I love you.”

“Then I promise. As long as I'm your best friend, I won't ever let anything come between us.”

“Good.”

Jack listened as Yusei's breathing evened out and after a few minutes, he asked, softly, “Yusei?” But he had fallen asleep.

_Good_.

Jack loosened his hold, but continued to hold Yusei on his lap in a warm embrace, sort of trying it on for size. Was it the buzz that made it feel so nice, or was it just that he … could it be …

Had Yusei become more than just a friend to him?

Jack tried kissing Yusei's hair. To his surprise, it felt kind of natural.

Sighing, he wrapped his arms around Yusei and rested his head on top of Yusei's, at the same time trying to wrap his mind around the idea of being in love with Yusei.

He wasn't … gay, he knew that for sure. And, as much as men had shown their interest in him, he really hadn't considered the possibility of being with a guy. … At least … not until … But maybe it was best not to even think about that and just go with his instincts. He always dueled best when he did that and his instincts said …

All he knew was that Yusei was completely different from anyone else in his life.

_This infernal buzz …_

_Tomorrow …_

He carried Yusei down to his bunk, hearing Kiryu's ragged snores on the way. He decided to deposit Crow into his bunk as well as long as he was at it. One good thing about the buzz—it was the only way he was going to get any sleep tonight. In fact, he found the last bottle of sake and drained what was left of it.

* * *

Rousing himself the next morning, Jack pulled Yusei aside. “How are you feeling?”

Yusei put a hand to his head. “Like a train ran through here. I think maybe we had a little _too_ much satisfaction last night.”

“Remember what we talked about? Remember I promised I'd ask you if you still felt the same way?”

Yusei looked confused. “About what? I'm sorry, Jack, everything's fuzzy after … I remember going up to the roof, but … I don't remember what we talked about. Remind me.”

“It doesn't matter. It wasn't important.”

“It seems important to you. Don't be stubborn.”

Jack shook his head. “I'll wait until it comes up again. It'll keep.”

Jack felt a bizarre mixture of disappointment and relief. He wasn't quite prepared to jump right into this. He needed to get used to this idea. But the weird thing was that Yusei was the most worthy person he knew, and if he really loved Jack … did it matter so much that he was …? Maybe …

Meanwhile, there was the rest of Satellite to conquer. And then …

Jack smiled. The future didn't seem quite so bleak after all.

**Chapter notes ...**

_[Jack] wasn't gay_ : Maybe this is a good place to mention that, around the time I was finishing up my last 5D's story, I had a really interesting e-mail conversation with a friend around the topic of Jack being more likely gay than most other 5D's characters. I'd love to get into that, but it's a bit lengthy and I want to save it for my new story (or perhaps the comments section?). Even so, in this story, he doesn't consider himself gay.


	17. Cogitation

Jack took out his deck only to carefully place it in as secure a location in his and Yusei's cabin as he could think of. Normally, he wouldn't allow it off his person during the day, but in his current state of agitation, he felt the deck was safer there. He felt a strong, irrational impulse to chuck his deck overboard in the heat of this moment, as much as he knew he would regret it immediately afterward.

But he might as well throw himself in afterward, considering that Red Demon's Dragon slept in that deck. Besides which, there was Yliaster, and Yusei, trusting him to support him in that effort—not to mention the guilt of letting everyone down. Both Neo Domino City and Satellite, Yusei, Crow, Carly, the twins—and, not least of all, himself. Everyone.

So he left the cabin almost as soon as he entered it, unable to sit still.

_Why couldn't I keep my big mouth shut …!_

Somehow, once Yusei got him started, he couldn't seem to shut up. Everything started pouring out of him as though it was some sort of sick release. But he didn't feel better now that it was out. No, he wanted to kick his own ass.

Yusei would think that he held it against Kiryu—or him—when it was just … _frustration_. He would have been able to hold it in if it weren't for the stress. The pressure to improve his game. Yliaster.

… And the fact that he was sharing a cabin with Yusei.

He'd thought that wouldn't be a big deal after all this time, but it was. It wasn't like they hadn't shared a room at Martha's. Nothing had bothered him about that then, but that was _before_. If he'd only _won_ that duel, maybe he could have moved on. And, more recently, after Carly, he'd thought … but … now …

 _Damn Yusei anyway_. If he hadn't reminded him, if he'd never brought certain … _things_ … up, he wouldn't be in this fix. He wouldn't have these tangled, balled-up, horrible _feelings_. It was so useless to have feelings that you know that you can't do anything about.

He looked around, but there wasn't anything. It was a ship, so everything was so _useful_. There was nothing extra, unnecessary. Nothing he could throw, or rip up, or break, or …

He supposed picking a fight with one of the crew was out of the question as well.

He found himself pacing madly in circles over the hold where he knew the Wheel of Fortune waited patiently for him to return. It was maddening to be unable to hop on it and ride, to just feel the wind and the speed and pretend that he could escape his problems for just that little while …

_Well, now …_

Jack laid eyes on a neatly-stacked pile of spare parts, some of which looked rather heavy. _They wouldn't mind if I borrowed just one of those and just moved it from one end of the pile to the other, now, would they? At least it was something to do that would use up all this blasted energy._ He tested, then hefted one. It was extremely difficult to lift, even for him.

The effort calmed his thoughts, just a little.

 _Why did Yusei have to keep picking at me? It was like … being stripped._ Drop.

Lift. _Why did I take the bait? … Kiryu. It's always Kiryu. I'm so easy._ Drop.

Lift. _D-do you suppose Yusei …? Every time Kiryu shows, he drops everything._ Drop.

Lift. _You went over and over that at the time. You know that it's possible. Look at the way he feels about him. Look at all he does for him._ Drop.

Jack paused and sighed.

Lift. _None of your business, Jack. Not like you care, right? Not anymore. Still …_ Drop.

Lift. _He tried to sacrifice himself for Kiryu. How do think he felt about him?_ Drop.

Lift. _All that could still just be guilt. You know how he is about his friends._ Drop.

Lift. _If he can't help them, he feels like a failure. It's the same thing as when you lose a duel._ Drop.

Lift. _Tell me. When did he ever step in to save_ your _skin?_ Drop.

Lift. _He didn't have to, remember? You don't need help_. Drop.

Lift. _Forget it. It's not like you didn't move on._ Drop.

Lift. _You had a chance at happiness._ _You had Carly._ Drop.

Lift. _You sure you're not just using those feelings as an excuse? Sure, you care, but …_ Drop.

Lift. _None of this matters. Carly … Yusei … all that's past now._ Drop.

Lift. _He moved on. You moved on. Don't keep coming back. Move on._ Drop.

Lift. _Can't. Not until this Yliaster thing is over with._ Drop.

Lift. _Then pull it together, man! Remember the Dark Signers? Earthbound Immortals? You were fine then._ Drop.

Lift. _Who says? You call that “fine”? If it weren't for Carly …_ Drop.

Lift. _At least it wasn't all about Yusei then._ Drop.

Lift. _Sure about that? Or—or was she … your lifeline …?_ Drop.

Lift. _No. Impossible. I can't think about that now._ Drop.

Lift. _Then let's think about Yusei. Why do you keep coming back to him, Jack? Why is it he never seems to run after you the same way, Jack?_ Drop.

Lift. _Who says he hasn't?_ Drop.

Lift. I _say he hasn't. You took a piece of him. Doesn't that say everything?_ Drop.

Lift. _Only at Godwin's behest. Wouldn't have otherwise._ Drop.

Lift. _Go ahead and tell yourself that if it makes you feel better. You wouldn't have done that sort of thing. Before._ Drop.

Lift. _You're saying I did it all to make him follow? What are you saying?_ Drop.

Lift. _Do I have to spell it out?_ Drop.

Lift. _Still, he made a promise._ Drop.

Lift. _What promise, Jack? Ask him if_ he _knows what you're talking about. Oh that's right. He wouldn't. Why don't you just say what you mean?_ Drop.

Lift. _But … caring … showing that you care … only gets you hurt. It's weak._ Drop.

Lift. _With people. In duels. You need strength, power, but you're just getting soft. Weak._ Drop.

Lift. Drop. _Look, you can't even lift this thing anymore. You_ are _weak, Jack._

It was true. He could barely stand up now, let alone lift the metal part and carry it back to the other end of the part pile. His thighs and biceps screamed for oxygen as he collapsed in a heap, gasping for air. Then he looked at his gloves and moaned, seeing that they were covered in grease.

“What are you doing to me, Yusei?” He wanted to howl it, but instead satisfied himself with whispering it as softly as he could.

**Chapter notes ...**

Re-posted response: “And was there anyone in Team Satisfaction who didn't find Jack attractive?” Ha ha. Did I have Kiryu giving off signals? I didn't think so. You had me going back and re-reading my chapter! I can point to several reasons for Crow's attraction, but the anime barely shows Jack and Kiryu interacting, so it's hard to say what sort of chemistry they have. [The manga is a totally different matter of course; can we say AU, anyone?]


	18. Wreckage

Crow had walked out first, but Jack caught up with him easily and quickly passed by. He glanced over his shoulder. Yusei wasn't following.

_You're my best friend, Jack. I love you._

_Am I? Do you?_

_Damn._

“Have you decided what you're going to do?”

It was Crow. “I just left, Crow.”

_We'll figure it out. Together._

He gritted his teeth. _In vino veritas_? Where was he?

To distract himself, he asked Crow, “What are your plans?”

“Well, we've known this was coming,” he said, implying, _So why haven't you thought ahead, Jack?_ “so I'm going to stop by Martha's and see what I can do about helping out with the orphan situation.”

Jack almost laughed. “Figures,” he said. “That's a natural for you, Crow.”

“Why don't you come along? Kids love you, you know.”

“You know I'm not the type, Crow. And I'm not in the mood. I need to figure out what I want to do next.”

“You mean you want to be alone and brood for awhile. C'mon Jack, I know you. When you feel like coming up for air, drop by Martha's. She'll know how to reach me.”

“OK, but don't look for me anytime soon.”

Jack walked on, hoping he could somehow ditch Crow soon so he could be alone with his thoughts. “Why do you suppose he stayed?” he said, voicing one of them.

“Yusei? He's hoping to talk Kiryu out of it, of course.”

It would be so obvious to Crow, and, “Of course you're right,” Jack said. “But can't he see that can't be done at this point?”

Crow shrugged. “Yusei has a thing about his friends. He wants to fix them, no matter what.”

_As long as I'm your best friend …_

_My best friend._ This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Weren't best friends were supposed to stick together? He set his jaw.

They walked on in silence for a while. Finally, they reached the point where Crow had to turn to get to Martha's. “Looks like this is where we part company, Jack.”

“Looks like. Good luck with the kids, Crow.”

“Thanks.” Crow grinned. He stopped and looked at Jack seriously. “Don't be a hermit, Jack, seriously. Don't make me come looking for you.”

“As if you could make me do anything.”

“Try me.”

Jack looked at him appraisingly, but Crow shrugged him off. “This day's been too eventful as it's been. Some other time.”

Jack watched Crow disappear down the street for a few minutes, then he turned and headed toward the waterfront. There had to be just the right sort of building there …

Two hours later he had chosen an old playhouse and cleared it of its tenants. It was all too easy … too quickly done to distract him from the unpleasantness of what had occurred earlier.

_Why, Yusei, why?_

It was so obvious that Kiryu was only going to drag Yusei down, further into his mess. There was no way that Yusei could ever convince him to turn from his course.

Jack knew this because it would have been so easy for him to have taken the same path if …

if he had never met Yusei.

There.

He had admitted it to himself.

Satellite was such a barren, empty place. When you thrived on—lived for—challenges, it was impossible. The challenge, the impossible challenge, was getting out. Out to the real challenges of the world outside.

If only the sewer rats he'd thrown out of this building had given him more of a challenge.

Jack sighed and made his way to the roof.

There was nothing there but some debris.

_Just like Satellite._

No, Yusei was still in Satellite.

He began collecting the junk and tossing it over the side into the alley, thinking that he really needed to find a reasonable couch to drag up here.

The view of the bay was just as he'd pictured it. _Excellent._ And you could see Neo Domino City from here in all its glory, without obstruction. But, somehow, he didn't feel like smiling.

He'd wanted Yusei here to view it with him, to help him plot his next move.

He moved to the other side of the roof, as though opposing his own inclination. “Yusei …” he breathed.

He hadn't intended to speak and almost jumped at the sound of his own voice. If he were rational, wouldn't he understand, as Crow had suggested, that Yusei was merely being Yusei and helping out a friend?

If he were being rational, maybe he would. But he didn't _feel_ rational.

He had just gotten used to the idea of what Yusei had suggested to him: the possibility that he might try something that had previously been inconceivable. And now, in random moments when Team Satisfaction hung out between sorties or celebrated after a raid, he'd look over toward Yusei and feel a certain warmth. And a growing anticipation.

What would it be like to get closer to Yusei? To gaze into those blue eyes that were so like bottomless tropical pools, to test their mysterious depths? To touch his tanned skin, run his hands through that restless hair? To simply _be_ with him and explore his feelings about things in the meticulous detail that mere friends never attain, to understand his dreams as only his most trusted lover would?

Worse, his body had started to vibrate, _sing_ , in Yusei's presence, as though in a silent communication of some secret they shared that Jack couldn't begin fathom in his conscious mind. But Jack had always operated better on instinct than intellect. He wanted to trust this instinct, new and strange as it was, more compelling and thrilling than any that he had encountered in recent memory.

Could it be that Yusei didn't even notice this? Could it be that he looked for every little whisper in the behavior of his other friends but … Jack gripped the unmaintained edge of the roof's safety wall, uncaring whether he caused bricks to dislodge … but …

_Doesn't he see that I'm drowning here?_

_Not when you refuse to complain while Kiryu's screaming._

_I won't beg for attention, Yusei._

_Especially not … especially not when you promised …_

_He doesn't remember, remember?_

_Even so. Does his lack of memory change his feelings? If he has feelings for you, that wouldn't change just because of Kiryu, would it?_

_Unless … Kiryu …_

He refused to think about it.

But still … the thought of Yusei with Kiryu seeped into his consciousness. He put his head in both hands, his elbows on the wall overlooking Satellite. He wanted to howl, but somehow held it in.

_He doesn't even call him Kyosuke! He can't …!_

Or …

The uncertainty was killing him. The rational part of his brain told him that Yusei was on a fool's mission to help a friend, but his jealous heart screamed that Yusei knew that it was hopeless and Kiryu was wrong, but he didn't care because he was—he could hardly stand it—in love.

_How could that be?_ How could he have gone in days from confessions and promises to ignoring Jack altogether? Didn't he care at all?

_Didn't he see?_

_Doesn't my pain mean anything to you?_

_Or am I that good at concealing it?_

He wondered if he should be glad or distraught.

But, whatever the cause of the situation, there was a more urgent and continuing question.

_What are you going to do, Jack?_

He looked into the future and …

All he saw was darkness.


	19. Goaded

Yusei wanted to make sure that he gave Jack a lot of space after their argument. As guilty as he felt admitting it to himself, he was sort of glad that he had kept probing even though Jack seemed incredibly upset when he left. Yusei now felt he understood Jack a little better now.

_Strange that I've known Jack for so long and yet he's still so mysterious to me in so many ways._

Yusei reflected on that as he headed for their cabin and knocked softly at the door. “Jack, you in there?”

He was pretty sure that he left Jack too full of nervous energy for him to tolerate being cooped up, but Yusei had to make sure. He certainly wasn't about to intrude on Jack's solitude today.

Yusei settled on his bunk and tried to read, but the lines seemed to run into each other.

_Was I so eager to probe Jack's emotions, to take advantage of this opportunity, that I went too far? Jack's OK, isn't he?_

Yusei relied so much on Jack's resiliency and durability mentally as well as physically, that he almost took it for granted that Jack would come back to his usual self almost immediately. But what if he didn't see past Jack's mask as well as he believed he did? What if he pushed too far, broke something he couldn't repair?

Yusei had been reading—or pretending to read—for two hours or so when the cabin door opened. Yusei looked up and exclaimed, “What the hell—!”

Jack was covered in sweat and grease and looked completely exhausted, as though he had barely been able to drag himself back to the cabin. His muscles seemed to be still trembling from the effort of whatever he'd been doing.

“D-don't mind m-me,” Jack panted. “All I need is a shower.”

Yusei sprang to his feet. The way Jack's jumpsuit was glued to his body, it wouldn't be easy to get out of—it couldn't be that easy under ordinary circumstances, Yusei imagined. “You look thrashed. Let me help you,” he offered, quickly stepping over to Jack.

Taken by surprise, Jack flinched noticeably, knocking his friend's hands away, the corners of his lips curling in an involuntary snarl. “ _Get your_ —” he hissed, then stopped himself, staring at Yusei and shaking his head vigorously as though to clear it. “Sorry,” he said. “I just—I can do it myself.”

With huge eyes, Yusei watched Jack slowly navigate to the head, wondering just what the whole story was. His heart skipped a beat as he considered the possibility that Jack might actually know how he felt … but that didn't make sense. He'd never treated Yusei as though he were giving him unwanted attention.

But, he reflected, it's just as well Jack had refused his help. Helping Jack out of his jumpsuit wouldn't ease his obsession. Not at all! The thought of Jack peeling off that suit was bad enough without actually peeling it off with his own hands. As Yusei heard the shower start in the next room, he couldn't suppress the burgeoning flow of his imagination as it presented him with a mini-movie of what it might be like to unzip that suit, all the way down, then slide his hands beneath the fabric along Jack's chest, sliding it slowly over his shoulders. Then, he'd push it down Jack's arms, which would force his face close to Jack's …

_You should stop thinking this way_ , Yusei thought.

_But it would be so easy to kiss him if we were so close! And what if … what if …_

_What if he wanted it?_

Yusei shook his head vigorously, trying to shake the vision out, and found himself staring at the door to the head, listening to the varying sound of the shower spray as Jack moved under it. And, as though on cue, the mini-movie in Yusei's head changed to an even more intrusive imagination of what the view might be like on the other side of the door. Rivulets of water coursing over Jack's pale, well-toned, naked body …

_Gods! Stop thinking, already!_

The only thing that kept Yusei from running out of the room out onto the deck was the fact that his body was now in a completely nonpresentable condition.

He stood up, walked to the door, and stood there, willing his body to obey him. “I'm walking out in ten seconds,” he told himself, “ready or not, so you'd better get ready.”

He took several deep breaths and counted to ten. As he counted, it was not lost on him that, in the heat of the moment, it was not so much their huge argument that now preyed on his mind, but erotic images of his friend.

_You should be concerned about helping him, not …_ He told himself.

He sighed, disgusted with himself.

Then he opened the door and stepped out for a long walk.


	20. Time Bomb

Yusei looked at Kiryu out of the corner of his eye. He seemed more unstable by the day. Yusei hadn't really had that much trouble dissuading him from going after kids after Crow and Jack had walked out, but it was only because Kiryu had already had some other ideas in the wings.

“Good riddance,” he'd said. “Who cares about them anyway? You're the one I really need. With my plans and your technical know-how, there's no stopping us.”

Yusei had asked him what he meant, but Kiryu wanted to let his plans unfold naturally.

As Yusei sat at a worn table arranging his tools, he marveled at how quickly regrets could pile up. He recalled how his heart broke apart along with Team Satisfaction as he watched Crow and Jack—especially Jack—walk away. He needed to talk to him. Explain. How often had he planned to look for Jack during a run for electronic parts? Countless times. But Kiryu had always insisted on coming along to watch Yusei's back.

Nice to have such a devoted friend.

He had asked Kiryu if he'd mind if Yusei dropped by to see Jack and Crow, if only to ask if they wanted in on their new operation, but Kiryu wouldn't hear of it.

“Are you kidding? Those turncoats? They had their chance and they blew it,” he'd said, glowering out a dirty window. “Anyone who even drops by to chat with those traitors is no friend of mine. Let them come crawling back.”

So, considering how closely Kiryu kept an eye on him—and with Kiryu becoming more and more paranoid every day, it was a very close eye indeed—there was no getting out to talk to Jack, to explain why he stayed behind.

But Jack understood, didn't he? That Kiryu would be all alone if he left?

Those thoughts preyed on his mind, along with fears about how things were going, how they would end up. What would happen to Kiryu. Yusei couldn't divine any positive outcome. Kiryu didn't seem to care. He just seemed bent on creating as much havoc as possible as quickly as possible.

Talking to him only seemed to start a pointless argument. Worse, it seemed to rouse Kiryu's suspicions. Yusei needed to work out a fresh approach.

In the meantime, Yusei turned his attention to a wireless communication device he was working on. He tried not to think about what it might be for. Kiryu hadn't specified, but Yusei thought, from the way he'd been asked to put it together, that it was probably for a detonator. He pushed the thought away. Kiryu put the explosives together and carried out the missions. All he'd asked Yusei to do was handle the electronics and play lookout.

So far.

“How's it coming?”

Yusei looked over at Kiryu. “Give me a couple of hours.” He picked up the pliers and said, “It would help if I knew what this was for.”

“No it wouldn't. Believe me.”

Yusei shrugged and returned to work.

“You still wish they were here, don't you?”

“I—”

“Don't even try, Yusei. I know you wish Jack and Crow were still around. Admit it.”

Yusei said nothing.

“Especially Jack.”

Yusei looked up and eyed Kiryu. What was he getting at? Did he know how Yusei felt?

“I know how you feel about him. You think he's the best duelist in Satellite. The best fighter. You probably think he's the best at everything. But I'll tell you something, Yusei. You're every bit as good as him.” He took a moment to stare holes through his friend. “Better.”

Yusei turned back to his work, letting that sink in. _Better than Jack?_ Nah.

_Still …_

Beating him would really get his attention. He glanced back over his shoulder at Kiryu. Did he really think so?

“You know you are,” he said, as though reading Yusei's thoughts. “Who cares about them? Who cares about Jack? We don't need Jack. Forget him.”

Yusei turned back to his work and sighed. If only he could. If only it were so easy.

How had Team Satisfaction been such a happy time and this so miserable? Kiryu had been a vibrant, sure-handed, level-headed leader. Now, he was a basket case.

Yusei soldered wires and thought that at least Kiryu hadn't tried to kill people. Yusei was pretty sure he wasn't that far gone—not yet anyway.

Yet he'd found himself becoming more silent, watchful. It was hard to know what to say to Kiryu, what would set him off. He wanted so badly to talk to Jack, but he wasn't there.

At night, in bed, he savored the few minutes he could be alone with his thoughts and allow himself the luxury of wondering where Jack was, what he was doing, whether he was thinking of Yusei at all. At least Jack didn't have to be miserable like this, he thought. He was free to move on and find his next challenge without having to worry about saving a friend from his own failings.

But …

Now, more than ever, he needed the comfort of Jack's presence. What he really wanted— _needed_ —was to feel Jack's body against his … if only just his hand on his shoulder. Something to make him feel that there was someone in the world who knew why he was doing this, who was rooting for him to get through it.

No, not just someone.

Jack.


	21. Transit

South America. At last.

They were both glad to have their D-wheels back and to be able to get back on the road. To feel the rush of wind, hear the hum of the Momentum … Yusei hadn't realized how much he'd missed it.

Jack hadn't mentioned their follow-up argument at all. Yusei wasn't sure whether he was worried about that or relieved. He didn't want to continually open up old wounds; he was pretty sure Jack couldn't tolerate that kind of emotional abuse anyway. Still, he didn't think things had been resolved either, and that bothered him.

Jack seemed content to pretend that nothing had occurred between them.

As they rode across the desert, Yusei positioned his D-wheel so that he could take a good look at Jack as he calmly rode ahead. The structure of the Wheel of Fortune allowed Jack to sit comfortably like a King on his throne, so unlike other riding duelists. Yusei watched Jack's economical motions with appreciation.

Yusei sighed, forcing himself to stop staring at his friend and pulled into the lead for a while. _Let him stare at me for a change_ , he thought, bitterly. _Let him chase_ me.

_Maybe the title is worth that much._

_If a riding duel title keeps Jack in my life, it's worth_ something, Yusei thought, squinting into the morning sunlight.

Later, they halted for a brief lunch of sandwiches that they'd packed for the journey. Jack draped an elbow over the Wheel of Fortune, looking ever-so-much the glossy print ad, as Yusei sat sideways on his D-wheel close by.

“I think we can make Bommer's house by nightfall,” Jack said. “We're making good time.”

Yusei nodded.

“You really think I can find what I'm looking for here?”

“I do.”

The silence spun out between them, feeling almost like a solid wall. Yusei tried to read Jack's eyes.

_So you've decided not to talk to me again?_

Is that what they were really saying? Or was he just reading accusations into them? Yusei felt the need to say something, but he was incapable of just making conversation. If Jack wasn't good at small talk, Yusei was even worse.

After another several minutes, Jack began, “You …” then, “Forget it.”

“No, what? You can ask me anything, you know that.”

“No, never mind.”

Yusei looked at Jack seriously and wondered if the uneasiness was because they were getting close to Nazca, where the Earthbound Immortals were sealed, or because he had unnecessarily opened old wounds. “Jack,” he said, “I'm sorry that I brought up so much old business on the way here. I know how you like to focus on your goals.”

“It's all right. You're just … trying to fix things.” He flashed a confident smile, but it didn't quite look genuine in the bright sunlight. Then he let his expression relax into seriousness. “You actually think I've started to believe what they're saying … don't you?”

“What they're saying? What do you mean?”

“You've heard them. The media. Duelists. People. Saying I'm washed up.”

Yusei stared into Jack's eyes, slightly stunned. For the first time, Yusei realized fully how utterly alone they were in this barren landscape. He didn't think Jack would go so far as to even acknowledge that anyone had the temerity to say such things.

Jack sighed. “I guess—” he began, disappointedly.

“No—no, that's not—I-I just … I didn't expect you to ask a question like that, Jack.” Yusei stood hurriedly, reaching up to squeeze Jack's meaty shoulder. “I'd never believe you'd think that. You never listen to—” He paused, frowning.

_Who cares what they think! B-but I_ do _care! I c-can't help it!_

Or did he? Somewhere, deep inside, Jack cared deeply about what everyone thought of him. That's why he needed all that attention and approbation in the first place. It's where all the defensiveness came from. Until he was able to get past that, really trust himself at an even deeper level …

Yusei hadn't thought that it was like Jack to doubt himself … but hadn't he been doubting himself—at least a little—ever since Yusei beat him that first time? _Godwin_ … “ _You_ don't believe those idiots, do you?”

“No, I just—”

“Because I couldn't stand it if the strongest duelist I know listened to people who don't know what they're talking about.”

“Yusei …” Yusei had let Jack go, but Jack held him with his eyes. Yusei tried to read the words Jack couldn't say. _Tell me what you think_.

Yusei stopped, closed his eyes and took a breath. He wanted to make sure that Jack didn't think that he was bullshitting him. Then he opened his eyes, holding Jack with them. “Frankly, you've lost a couple of duels I think you wouldn't have lost before …” he couldn't bring himself to say _before Godwin,_ “… and you need to find what you're looking for, but, Jack, you're still … Jack Atlas. It's way more than your skill, it's your _heart_ … your courage. Your _competition_ wants you to _think_ you're weak.” He shrugged, letting his eyes drift toward the horizon. “If they weren't afraid of you, they wouldn't spend so much effort trash-talking you. I notice that they don't do that with me.”

“They know it won't work on you.”

“Really? It worked when you did it, remember?”

The smallest ghost of a grin appeared on Jack's face. “I think … I think I knew the buttons to push,” he said. “I don't think that would work for just anyone.”

It struck Yusei that he was probably right. Jack was always a special case with him. “Do you.” It wasn't a question, really.

“Yeah.”

**Chapter notes ...**

As originally posted: Huh. This feels like so much of a placeholder chapter, but I need the transition to Nazca and to bring back the theme of the current issues Jack's working on, so ... there you have it. I just wish it was more scintillating, somehow!


	22. Looking for It

Yusei reached the point that he couldn't concentrate on building his D-wheel any longer. He disentangled himself from his friends so that he could take a walk by himself.

Funny.

The breakup of Team Satisfaction. So appropriate. He had his friends, he had moved on—he thought—but with Kiryu God knew where and that … _tension_ … between him and Jack, there had been this undercurrent of dissatisfaction ever since.

Plus, teen that he was, without a lot of action to release his energy any more, the tension had a way of building up.

He managed to slip away from Nerve, Blitz and Taka to get out on his own. Rally was in bed.

Too full of energy to calm down, he started walking, and just let his feet carry him. Soon, he found himself down by the water's edge.

He sighed. This was the area he and Jack used to hang around when they were kids. He was about to turn around again when a streak of gold shining in the fading rays of the sun caught his eye.

There, silhouetted against the water, was Jack. He was standing on a pile of rubble, gazing across the water at Neo Domino City, just as he used to when they were children. Yusei found the sight breathtaking. Jack stood erect, with a strength and readiness almost vibrating through his body. Yusei could almost sense Jack's spirit bounding right out of his body across the water to his goal.

It took everything he had to keep from calling Jack's name right then. But how could he tell Jack how he felt? Hurt? Angry? In awe? Horny? Right now, what he wanted most was to … He couldn't even put it into words. Instead, he yanked himself away and strode off through an alley angrier than ever.

_How could he be so set on his goal and not—_

_and not all tied up in knots like me!_

Now he really needed to walk.

After a while, he happened across some guys dueling and joined in. They didn't put up much of a fight, but it helped burn off a little of his pent-up tension.

Afterward, amid the exchange of farewells, a girl showed up. “Hi,” she said a little shyly. “Do you remember me? From Martha's?”

He looked at her closely. “Uh, Darla, isn't it? You're a couple of years younger?”

“That's right.” She looked very pleased with herself. “Can we go somewhere?”

Huh. Yusei considered the offer. Satellite didn't offer very many pretty girls; the pretty ones had a way of disappearing, one guessed, to Neo Domino City somehow. But Darla was more attractive than most, with a sprinkle of saucy freckles across her nose and just a splash of blond highlight in her hair. Any port in a storm?

He was still feeling a lot of tension and pressure, and he craved the distraction. If he could get some sort of relief … and she didn't seem to mind …

“OK,” he said. But he couldn't help feeling a twinge of guilt.

She beamed. “That's great! I always looked up to you guys.”

“Us guys? Oh. You mean …” Crow. And Jack.

Twilight was fading now as they moved rapidly toward a shadowy building. “Right. Everyone did.” She laughed. “I know a great place.” She led him upstairs five flights to the roof. Panting lightly, she said, “This is it. It's terrific, right? It's not that tall, but you can still see the water and the city from here.”

_Crap, can I see Jack standing out there looking over the water? I don't want to know._

“You're right,” he said. “Pretty spectacular.”

“You're making fun of me!”

“Nah,” he said, and pulled her into an embrace. He kissed her gently.

_Yep, that's what she wanted_. He pulled away to take a look. Her eyes were sparkling in the moonlight. And that gleam of gold in her hair … Maybe this would work out after all.

She sighed. “Funny, you're so cute now. I never would have thought of dating you in the old days.”

He nuzzled her neck. “Really? Things have changed for the better, then.” He really didn't need the reminders.

“Hey, remember the guys you used to hang around with?”

“Crow? … a-and Jack? What about them?” This wasn't what she was here for, was it?

“I used to have such a crush on Jack … just like all the girls. So stupid … I was just wondering whatever happened. I heard you formed a team …”

“Team Satisfaction.” She was getting interested in the subject and didn't sense that Yusei was suffering a huge increase in tension … in all the wrong ways.

“Right, but then …”

“The team broke up,” he said. “Uh, Darla? I seem to be developing a headache from the duel. Do you mind? I'll hook up with you later.” He started for the stairs, then stopped, and, without looking back, said, “Jack's around. Satellite's a small place. If you look hard enough, you'll find him.”

Darla stood on the roof looking after him, confused. “I didn't say the wrong thing, did I?” she called after him.

* * *

Jack looked back over his shoulder. Had he felt …?

Jack turned around and squinted into the shadows. He couldn't see anyone. No, Yusei couldn't have been there. He had been avoiding Jack ever since Kiryu had been taken away. There was no way he'd come to the very place he knew he'd be likely to find him.

No, it couldn't have been Yusei.

There was this … cloud … hanging between them that he just couldn't penetrate. Yusei didn't want to talk to him. Jack was positive that Yusei blamed him for what had happened and …

… there was that other thing.

The thing he just couldn't get around.

Yusei had tried to take Kiryu's place.

_That meant … he'd—he'd tried to_ … Jack could hardly stand it.

Yusei had tried to exchange himself. Destroy himself. For Kiryu. Would he have done such a thing for Jack?

_Kiryu!_ If he weren't already suffering God knows what torture, Jack would personally see to it that he was punished—!

How _dare_ Kiryu take Yusei from him! But, worse, how _dare_ Yusei prefer Kiryu over him! _Had he no discernment whatsoever?_

Or … had Yusei just … given up, and just … settled? So quickly? So easily?

_Impossible!_

Not when … _he was Jack Atlas, goddammit!_

Why hadn't he just dueled Kiryu at the start, regardless of the consequences? It was the obvious thing to do. The _right_ thing to do. It would have been best, not only for Yusei, but for Satellite.

Because then Yusei would know how he felt … and what if—what if Yusei had changed his mind?

But that was inconceivable.

Wasn't it?

He turned back to the lights of Domino. _It was so unfair_. Jack was the one who'd dreamed of Neo Domino City all his life and of their little threesome he was the one least likely to get there.

And now, filled with anger, grief and regret, he needed to get out more than ever. Each time he saw Yusei, it felt as though an arrow pierced his heart. Were those luminous, wise blue eyes really full of the accusations he imagined that he saw?

Funny … he'd really tried to help Kiryu escape, as hopeless as that was, but it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered.

Except getting out. Away.

_Yusei, why did you have to confess like you did? All it's done was lead to this endless suffering._

_Why did you make me fall in love with you?_

**Chapter notes ...**

_Why hadn't he just dueled Kiryu at the start, regardless of the consequences?_ _—_ Normally I'd let this stand on its own, but I can't resist expanding. Other than the fact that 5D's needed to start with a rift between Yusei and Jack, why wouldn't Jack duel Kiryu right then and there? Ordinarily, you would expect that from Jack because that is exactly the sort of behavior he doesn't stand for and he, being the knight-in-shining-armor sort, wouldn't let friendship stand in the way. In fact, he'd be even more likely to duel a friend because he'd figure he'd be doing his friend a favor by knocking some sense into him. (Yusei would be more likely to back off out of compassion and try the softer route ... ie, what happened.) So ... how do we explain his walking away? Perhaps because Yusei made it a choice of sides? Being against Kiryu was now being against Yusei as well? Or, turning that around, if Jack dueled Kiryu, then Yusei would be forced to choose between Kiryu and Jack: a choice that Jack didn't want to know the outcome of? Whether you frame that in terms of platonic or romantic love, it becomes an interesting situation. (Wow, that was a wordy explanation ... better to read the damn story, huh?)


	23. Burning Soul

Yusei had a hard time sleeping that night. Jack had ridden off before Yusei had time to get to his D-wheel to follow him. Yusei was up early, outside where his pacing and staring toward the horizons wouldn't disturb Bommer and his siblings.

Stories of a Crimson Devil … restless spirits … This didn't bode well. Still, he thought they would have had to come all the same. This situation had to be addressed, and who better than they to tackle it?

If only Jack were in a better frame of mind!

Jack was worried about the Earthbound Immortals re-awakening, while Yusei thought the activity might have something to do with Yliaster. Both might be involved, or it might have nothing to do with them at all. Bommer thought that something was trying to resurrect in this place. If it was the god of the underworld again—

If only they had more information!

With whatever it was focusing its attention on Jack … Yet Yusei could only wait and do what he could to help Jack get through this.

Yusei wondered if the fact that Bommer had been a Dark Signer put him somehow in tune with this place. Maybe too much in tune. Yusei hadn't liked the expression on Jack's face when he saw that he was to duel on a geoglyph course. Didn't Bommer know that it would bring back the worst of memories for the both of them? The killer whale had been Bommer's own glyph. Didn't that strike a chord with him? And to have Max duel Jack? It was insulting to a man like him! It was as though Bommer meant to mock him! What was he thinking?

Worse, Max gained some traction against Jack, and—Yusei's steps grew swifter and swifter until he suddenly stood stock still, staring at the horizon as though that act alone could force Jack to appear upon it. A Red Demon's Dragon of fire had indeed been turned against Jack, just as Bommer's dream described, causing him to crash. Thrown across the dirt, thoroughly humiliated, but with no outcome to the duel, Jack had simply left, loudly insisting, “This proves nothing!”

The cards that Max had used couldn't be found in his deck. Yusei had almost gone after Jack right then, but there was no tracking Jack in the dark. Not at his speed.

If only Yusei had been near his D-wheel! Why hadn't he thought ahead? Jack needed him and he wasn't there. Jack was always there for him. Why was he never there when Jack needed him most?

Yusei had told Bommer that Jack would be fine, to give him time.

Jack _would_ be fine … wouldn't he?

* * *

Jack rode out for some time, not thinking about where he was going, letting night turn over into morning as he went.

Supposedly he, Jack Atlas, had died in Bommer's so-called prophetic dream. Bommer thought that the way to avoid this fate was to find a new way of fighting that embodied the opposite of power.

But he'd already gone through it again and again. He'd always used a pressure offense using power and unrelenting swift attack.

Crow, Yusei, now Bommer—even all those stupid competitors who wanted to undermine his confidence—they had no idea what they were asking. It wasn't just a matter of re-examining a strategy or two. It wasn't even just asking him to scrap his entire way of fighting and start over from scratch, which was bad enough.

What they were asking was …

They were asking him to be someone else.

_I can't be someone else, Yusei._

_You, of all people, should understand that._

How could he ever hope to win if he abandoned everything he was? His identity, his own path, that he chose, by himself, was the basis of his success. If he threw that away … if he threw his _soul_ away … he could never hope to win.

Whatever new way of fighting that he found had to be _his_ way. His way, discovered by himself, with his own hands, with his own mind.

_Yusei …_

Why was it so important to him that Yusei understand that?

He was halfway tempted to just keep on riding all the way to the other side of the continent, to Rio de Janeiro, where he could make a totally fresh start. He'd be totally free there to figure out his own way of dueling without anyone looking over his shoulder with their oh-so-helpful but counterproductive advice. But Yusei was depending on him. Strong as Yusei was, there was no way he could face Yliaster alone, and, Jack reminded himself, no matter his determination, Crow just couldn't support Yusei like Jack could. He had to return. But there was something even more basic. He needed to find a way of fighting for himself, and running away just wouldn't answer that problem.

One day …

One day he needed to beat Yusei again.

Regain his respect. Then he would feel he was all the way back out of the deep, black hole he'd dug himself into.

If he ran away, that would never happen. Forget Yliaster, he couldn't throw away all hope of getting what he really wanted. To beat Yusei. And, beyond that, claim … claim what? He didn't dare think beyond beating Yusei.

He revved the momentum. _There has to be a way, he thought. A way of using power the right way. Or …_

_Maybe I just don't have enough …_

That was funny. There were signs of habitation in the town up ahead. Hadn't Bommer said the villagers had fled? Jack headed in to investigate.

* * *

Yusei was in the position he hated most.

Called by a complete emergency, he found himself watching Jack duel a supernatural creature. As usual, he was powerless to help Jack—he could only stand on the broken stone stairway in this strange, underground temple and watch. How was it that of all his friends, the only one that he seemed unable to assist in their darkest hours was …

Instinctively, he put his hand on Bommer's arm, steadying himself, his eyes wide, glued on Jack's erect, defiant figure.

Jack would have to find a new way of fighting. Now. Or all their lives would be forfeit.

But, somehow, it was Jack's life that consumed his heart and mind.

_I'm so far gone …_

Bommer had dreamed that Jack would die—

He refused to believe it.

Yusei's heart sank as Jack's life points dwindled, and the monster that wanted his body (who else's, given the choice?) showed itself.

But Jack, if anything, Jack had become even more determined to win. There was not a hint of fear in him.

_This is why_ , Yusei thought. _This is why_.

He _knew_ he would win.

Even if Jack lost here, he would end it totally without fear, in complete faith that somehow— _somehow_ —he'd find a way to save everyone, to protect what was important to him.

It was Yusei who was scared … for Jack. If he lost, Yusei would merely die. Jack's body would …

And would—would Jack be dead? Or conscious in there somewhere?

Looking at Jack's determination, though, slowly eased Yusei's fears. Once he played Extra Veiler, Yusei began to absorb his resolve, his confidence, feeling it enfold his body like a warm summer breeze.

The aura of flame around Jack, the legend Bommer related about the first signer, Burning Soul … Could it really be? _Was Jack …?_ He could almost see that man. Was it just … imagination?

_Jack …_

It was as though he could actually _see_ Jack's soul. Burning furiously.

He knew why he had to be here. Now.

Then, at the last, he found he could help. As Jack sealed Scar Red Nova through the sheer power of his burning soul, the sign of the Crimson Dragon Wings on his arm began to glow. As his own sign glowed in response, Yusei felt his own soul move within his body, responding to Jack's call. Eagerly, he willed the Crimson Dragon to appear—they would need him: Quetzalcoatl.

Not so long ago, they had locked themselves together in a duel, just the two of them, and that energy alone had called the Crimson Dragon. It had taken an awful rift between the two of them to create that situation, but it was like a secret … something special that they shared, a circle even tighter than the circle of 5D's. And it had been where the healing of their friendship had begun.

And then, in a flash, it was all over.

After, Jack didn't want to talk about it. Yusei could only guess that he was uncomfortable discussing it. It involved the supernatural, and he had revealed so much of himself, both of which Jack must have found profoundly disturbing.

After what they'd just been through, Yusei wished that he could wrap his arms around him and just hold him for, let's say, a day or two. But here they were, calmly heading toward their D-wheels.

“Jack—”

“Are you ready to go? We might still catch the Scarlet Queen if we start now.”

“OK, Jack … but, don't you—You don't have anything to say?”

“What do you want me to say? We got what we came for. Do you want me to say 'Mission accomplished'?”

“No, but it'll do, Jack.”

They said somewhat hasty goodbyes and headed out. Jack seemed anxious to put Nazca behind him as quickly as possible.

Again, Yusei let Jack get a little bit ahead of him, but tried not to watch him too closely, knowing Jack would feel the pressure of his gaze.

Yusei thought about how Jack had always thought about Duel Monsters cards in that special way. Funny that he hated talk of the supernatural, Yusei reflected, because he had an almost mystical attitude toward them. He would never try to divine the future with them like Carly, but they were like, well, almost like friends, comrades in arms. No, they definitely _were_ friends. Lately, they had seemed so much like his soldiers, what with his obsession with power dueling. Had he forgotten what they were to him in Satellite? Each with their own personality? Their own set of virtues and weaknesses, with special traits to discover and delight in? Not that he'd put it quite like that.

Maybe after this duel, he'd recall that relationship.

_Cards come to the duelist …_

Well, they'd really seen that of late. Seems they sometimes came out of nowhere. Literally.

And Red Demon's Dragon?

Yusei stole a glance at Jack, riding off toward the west, tails of hair trailing in the wind behind him.

Red Demon's Dragon was dark, powerful, fiery.

But Jack? Powerful and fiery, yes, but Yusei would have never thought of him as particularly dark. He'd have thought that more … well, about himself, what with his tendency to over-think things and brood.

But, then, didn't Jack brood at times? His nature, fiery and expansive, cast deep shadows. His stubborn quest for power, for example. His insistence that it was the only path that he could walk. And then there was—

_I planned to …_

Jack's words echoed once again in his mind. Carly. He didn't know what Jack had been talking about, but the import had seemed dire and an involuntary tremor ran through his body at the memory of them. Was it something in Jack's voice? The way his eyes turned inward?

_Jack …_

Unconsciously, he revved the accelerator to catch up with Jack.

Why was he always so afraid of losing Jack? This last incident didn't help put his mind at ease, but it had always been that way. Was it because he had left once? Because he'd warned that he'd leave again? Because he had that unfortunate tendency to take risks? … and crash? Or was it jealousy?

Or maybe … just maybe … it was because he almost never seemed to be in a position to help.

Yusei glanced at Jack again, and he glanced back, catching Yusei's eye. Jack flashed the smallest of smiles before returning his gaze to the dirt road they traveled. Jack seemed perfectly content, satisfied with the way things had resolved themselves.

Yusei kicked himself inwardly for his selfishness in the face of this success. Yusei refused to dwell on such negative thoughts. At last Jack looked like he was returning to his old self, and now that Nazca was in the rear-view, he was starting to relax.

Everything was going well right now, he thought. He had to let this go. He let himself relax as well, allowing Jack's aura of confidence and strength to envelop him.

**Chapter notes ...**

Yes, I realize that in the anime Yusei doesn't find out that the cards Max uses to duel Jack aren't in his deck until the next morning. But including that extra conversation with Bommer was a bit awkward and I didn't want to make this a blow-by-blow transcription of the anime.

Yusei's opinion that Jack's always there for him while he's almost never there for Jack: Yusei's impression, which isn't totally accurate. However, because Jack tends to go it alone and believes he doesn't need help, he provides Yusei fewer opportunities.


	24. Starving

Yusei's points went down to zero and he sank to his hands and knees.

It had been the first time they had dueled since Kiryu, and Yusei wanted so badly to beat him. He had been put out with Jack ever since he'd walked out on Kiryu. He wasn't quite sure why, but he'd just gotten angrier and more frustrated as time went on. And now, with them unable to see Kiryu, God knows what happened … that anger was boiling over.

“Don't grovel. You only lost. It's not like you take physical damage in this type of game.”

Jack walked over in front of him and crouched, one foot in front of the other so that one knee was slightly higher than the other, emphasizing his long, slender legs. More than ever, he reminded Yusei of some rare exotic bird. The higher knee was inches from his face, a solid reminder of Jack's physical presence. Worse, Jack was so close that Yusei could smell him. He had always marveled how Jack managed to stay so clean in a place like Satellite. His personal scent was a reminder of this and of a legion of memories—growing up, sitting on the couch in Team Satisfaction headquarters, leaning against him … old feelings came flooding back. He was afraid to look at Jack's face lest the closeness of it induce an even stronger and more obvious reaction.

“Why are you taking this so hard? It's not like this is the first time I beat you,” Jack continued.

The duel … Well, it was supposed to ease those feelings, make things more normal. He wanted things to go back to normal between him and Jack.

But he had _had_ to beat him.

He wanted to scream at him for leaving, for his prolonged absences, for not returning … Did he not miss Yusei at all? Maybe Jack wasn't all that he might want him to become down deep in the most secret compartments of his hidden heart, but … weren't they still at least … friends? Why couldn't he shout at Jack and demand that he reveal his feelings, whether he still … Yusei wanted to take his fists, punch Jack in the gut, then take a shot at his jaw. See if he could get an emotion, any emotion, to register on that beautiful, impassive face.

And the other emotion, tearing him the other way, was a shocking, overwhelming compulsion to kiss him. Having Jack so near … Yusei felt that he was drowning in the sensation of his presence, that he had been starving for it and now … he couldn't get enough. It fed on itself, but it also fed his anger. _How dare he withhold himself! Couldn't he see how desperately Yusei needed him?_

Yusei felt like he might explode from the conflicting emotions building inside him. Yet all he could do was stare down at his hands silently as they clawed at the dirt.

“You know, that was an excellent duel. You should be pleased with your performance,” Jack went on, oblivious to Yusei's emotional condition. “You understand the strategies of the game perfectly, Yusei. What you lack is … you need to trust your cards. You need to fight _with_ them, not _use_ them to fight. They're your _partners_ , Yusei. Not only that, they join together in battle, just as people do. Someone who takes friendship so seriously should understand that.

“Honestly, Yusei, you have everything you need to win already. It comes together right here.” Yusei reluctantly looked up at Jack to find him pointing to his heart with his thumb, looking down at Yusei with flashing violet eyes. “Do you get me?”

“Yeah.” But he wasn't sure he did. Jack was always going on about cards that way. Yusei had always thought that it was just one of Jack's eccentricities, that it worked for _him_ , but it was one of those fantasy things that had no applicability to the real world—and perhaps that Jack's relationship with his deck was a compensation for his awkwardness with people. Could it be that Jack could actually be correct, that the guy who couldn't be bothered to apply himself to most practical matters could actually have a better handle on something than the brilliant Yusei Fudo?

“Come on, Yusei, be a man. You'll win the next one.” A hand appeared before his face to help him up, but he started to get up without its help. The hand was slowly withdrawn. At last Jack must have been satisfied, because Jack turned on his heel and strode off along the broken sidewalk.

Yusei finished pulling himself together and looked after Jack, feeling totally humiliated. Would this ever end? Would he ever beat Jack? Would the bad taste left by the bad end of Team Satisfaction ever clear out of his mouth?

At least he had his new project to distract himself with. The D-wheel would take enough time and and attention that he wouldn't have time to dwell on his losses, Kiryu, Jack, the past, or much of anything else.

Thank goodness.

* * *

Jack didn't like leaving it like that, but Yusei seemed to have taken the loss pretty hard this time. He was a little confused. It wasn't like his winning their duels was anything new.

Frankly, this time he was a little relieved to have won. He felt somewhat vindicated in his decision to leave Team Satisfaction. There had been no honor in staying.

But … leaving Yusei like that …

He'd wanted to make things better, repair things. But that wasn't his talent, it was Yusei's. Not only that, Yusei was the one who was good at friendship. Jack was naturally a loner and had always depended on Yusei to help him maintain his friendships. If Yusei didn't want to fix their friendship, it was just going to stay broken and that was that.

Jack turned and looked back down the street.

Yusei was gone.

How was he supposed to live in Satellite like that?

How was he supposed to stick around when there was nothing left for him here?

Worse, how was he supposed to stay with nothing but reminders that he could no longer have those things that were worth having here?

Those precious, irreplaceable things …

_Yusei …_

**Chapter notes ...**

Re-posted response to comments: Yep ... “This waiting is getting to me.” Honestly, I feel your pain, and I wrote the thing! I apologize for being such a tease (chalk it up to idea hemorrhage ...) but I promise it's only a little longer, just a few more chapters. [Here I went on with some comments about posting and a promise to follow up with the sequel, which turned out to be Where There's Fire.]


	25. Against the Stars

They were forced to camp in the desert on the way back from Nazca to San Juan. The stars spread out over them like diamonds across a satin curtain. Yusei and Jack sat in silence, watching the last of the dusk turn over to night, Yusei reflecting how rare it was for him to feel that he had Jack so completely to himself.

Yusei looked at his friend, silhouetted against the stars, the white of his uniform glowing ever so slightly in starshine, and allowed himself the luxury of fully experiencing the sensation of yearning that flowed within him. Yes, at times it was a hindrance, and it saddened him when he felt that it would never meet fulfillment, but at times like this, he savored that sensation. Knowing that this longing sprang out of love, that it was a response to knowing Jack, brought its own kind of satisfaction.

He took this rare opportunity to consider what had just transpired and everything Bommer had told him. Bommer had said that Burning Soul was the “ancestor of the Signers”—that he had appeared out of a volcano to use the power of his soul in tandem with that of the Crimson Dragon to seal Scar Red Nova deep within the earth, far below even where the Earthbound Immortals had been sealed. Yusei hadn't disclosed any of these things to Jack. As uncomfortable as Jack was with all the “supernatural bullshit” as it was, this would not improve his disposition, nor would it make him feel any more at ease with Yusei, being aware that Yusei had it on his mind.

To defeat Scar Red Nova, Jack had literally bared his soul before the three of them. No wonder he was reticent to discuss such a personal thing. And yet, it was so … beautiful, so fiery. And he always spoke of Red Demon's Dragon as his soul. Yusei had always thought it a metaphor, but now … could cards actually carry one's soul … or a piece of it?

_Jack. He took my Stardust Dragon_ , Yusei thought. _He kept it as his own for two years_. A chill ran up his spine.

Every new thing he learned about Jack seemed to make Yusei want him even more. There _had_ to be a way, or … or he'd go as nuts as Kiryu had.

_Now?_

_No … if he scared him away, he had a whole continent to run in. The ship was just a few hours away._

But feeling the attraction he did … as a Signer … was it creepy? It wasn't, was it? After 10,000 years, they could hardly be related, right?

Jack looked at him. “What?”

“I know you don't want to talk too much about the duel … but thanks, Jack.”

“Why?”

“For saving our lives, of course.”

Jack coughed out a short laugh. “After I endangered them first, you mean.”

Yusei frowned slightly. “I think—I think that the Earthbound Immortal was bound to emerge whether you succumbed to temptation or not, Jack. Like I said earlier, I think you were using it as much as it was using you. You might not have understood it that way, but …”

“It was destiny?”

“I think so.”

Jack smiled. “That's because you believe in destiny.”

“You?”

“I believe in carving out the path that I want to take.”

Or … were they the same thing? It was as though Jack had a way of arranging things without even knowing it. Was it destiny? Or Jack?

“And, back there? You said something about saving your friends.”

Jack colored a bit at that. “That seemed the most important thing that I was fighting for at the time,” he said simply.

“Not power?”

“Not just at that moment. Let's not make a thing of it.”

“And the fact that it was going to take your body?”

“Well, I certainly wasn't going to let that … _thing_ … walk around in _my_ body. Did you see what it looked like? Repulsive!” Jack looked disgusted, but Yusei shivered. He didn't want to think about it.

Yusei tried, with limited success, to shrug the chill off. He managed a shaky chuckle.

“S-so what, exactly, went through your mind when you changed your strategy—if you don't mind telling me?”

“It's OK.” He frowned slightly, thinking about it. “Actually, it's kind of funny. When I looked back at you, that one time flashed into my mind—you know, when I taught you to fight?”

“You mean, when you took me out to the B.A.D. zone?”

“Right. I realized that thing was using the power of my beasts against me. Their—what did you call it?”

“Inertia?” Yusei asked, remembering.

“Right. That. I decided I'd better stop ending up on my back and start listening to my own advice.” Jack smiled. “So I got creative.”

“You got … creative?”

“Well, I couldn't blitzkrieg him or expect him to use power against me, so I had to get creative.”

“Which means—”

“See how I can fight with the cards in my hand. Turn _his_ strategy against _him_.” Jack shrugged. “What else?”

Hah, just like Jack to build his strategy on the fly. As instinctual as he is, that's probably the best way for him anyway … and the hardest to defend against, Yusei thought. “And carving out your own path?”

“What about it?”

“Do you still believe in it? Fighting destiny? After everything that's happened? After Godwin?”

“Bargaining with him was a mistake. But, yes.” He turned his arrogant profile to the stars defiantly. “I refuse to be destiny's bitch.”

_My god!_

He stared at Jack. _What if … what if his leaving Satellite was part of the same sort of thing?_

Jack wasn't a particularly manipulative person. That was Godwin. He knew exactly what he was doing when he presented Jack with his ultimatum. Godwin needed to neutralize Rudger, yet he feared Jack. Therefore, he needed to weaken Jack while simultaneously strengthening Yusei. He wanted to light that fire under Yusei to bring out the Sign Godwin so strongly suspected that Yusei had. Meanwhile, Godwin kept Jack under his thumb, undermining him, weakening his ability to fight back in the end. Canny.

Godwin hadn't counted on their ability to mend their friendship. Or Crow's determination.

But Jack …

Somewhere, deep inside, Jack had yearned for an obstacle, a rival. Someone to equal or best him. Someone to knock him down so that he could surpass his own limitations, come back even stronger, and prevail again.

Jack had broken their friendship even worse than it had been broken because—because he had trusted that Yusei could fix it. Because he had believed that Yusei could fix anything. He had never used Stardust Dragon in a duel because it was Yusei's card and he had to keep it for Yusei. Jack fell into Godwin's trap, but it guaranteed that Yusei would become stronger, strong enough to defeat him, strong enough to become a rival worthy of him … at long last. Finally, Jack had an obstacle, something to aim for, to make him stronger. He had needed a beat-down and had arranged for it. Without even knowing it.

Jack had made a mistake, but you learn more from mistakes. He'd said it himself—it was harder to be on top than to reach for the top because there was nowhere to go; no one to measure yourself by. He wouldn't have done it on purpose, but deep inside, it was what he needed. He needed to struggle. To discover what he truly valued. What he was made of.

Jack had always been the sort of guy who courted danger, who begged for setbacks. Did he need them? Did he _arrange_ them so that he could become ever stronger, ever more ready for the next, incremental challenge?

… _and he's still recovering, getting stronger. I wonder how strong he can become?_

_No, that's stupid, I'm just romanticizing this_ , Yusei told himself, but looking at Jack, even his skin seeming to glow ever so slightly in the starlight, it was almost impossible for him not to believe this fanciful idea. _But does it matter? He_ is _stronger, and we_ are _friends again._ Yusei had witnessed Jack's burning soul with his own eyes. He had … glowed … in his own fiery light. Any chance that Yusei could go back, pretend that Jack was just an ordinary friend, was gone. Readjusting, returning to a new equilibrium, a new working friendship, just wasn't going to work. Yusei had to face the fact that this was no infatuation. It went beyond obsession. He had known that he was in love with Jack for a very long time. And now, having seen what he had seen, he was more deeply in love than ever.

Yusei shivered again, his eyes growing wide.

Jack stirred, staring at his friend. “You really need to bring something a little warmer. You know that the desert gets cold at night.” He got up and sat next to Yusei, taking off his jacket. Pulling Yusei close, he draped his jacket over the both of them, wrapping its skirt around them. It was awkward, but it would have to do. “Sorry about this,” he muttered.

“S'OK,” Yusei said, closing his eyes. He pulled his knees up, obscuring the effect that Jack's nearness was having on him. It felt so good … and Jack. Even after the long ride and all the dust, he still smelled wonderful. How did he do it?

_Or is it just because of the way I feel about you that you always seem to smell so good?_

Jack sighed, looking at the stars. He glanced down at Yusei. “You OK? You seem a little tense.”

“I'm great.” He tried to relax into Jack's side and forget how great it felt and the fact that Jack had an arm draped over his shoulder.

“You're still trembling.”

“I'm still warming up.” _Unfortunately. I'm way_ too _warm, actually. I need to cool it a little, thanks._ “Just give me a minute.”

It crossed Yusei's mind for a moment that Jack knew everything and was just playing head games with him. But, no, Jack wasn't that cruel, despite what some people sometimes told him. People remembered all that had transpired between them and, because Jack was arrogant and defensive, didn't think Jack had changed at all. But when he betrayed Yusei, hadn't he made Yusei reach back and become what he needed to be? Jack was the one person who brought out the best in Yusei, even when he was at his worst.

“Jack, it just struck me that you're the best enemy I ever had. And the best friend.”

“Uhn … right back at you?”

**Chapter notes ...**

Interestingly, it's left to us to speculate whether Yusei relates Bommer's story to Jack or anyone else. Since Jack really doesn't want to hear about this stuff, my instinct is no.


	26. Fugitives

“Would you look at that?” Blitz said, looking at the screen. “Jack cleans up good!”

“Not that he didn't look good here, you mean,” said Nerve, giving Blitz a poke in the ribs.

“Point taken. Yusei, look at the jumpsuit he's wearing. Sweet, no?”

Yusei was highly annoyed, but glanced at the screen anyway.

“That's not Yusei's D-wheel.”

“No, it's new. Pretty hot, don't you think, Yusei? He calls it the Wheel of Fortune.”

_Wheel of Fortune … hah!_

It wasn't just good luck that put him in Neo Domino City while Yusei was still stuck here—minus his D-wheel and best card, mind you.

“They're calling him the King. He's won the Neo Domino City title.”

“Of course he has. He has Red Demon's Dragon _and_ Stardust Dragon, hasn't he?”

“He didn't use Stardust. It's nowhere in the report. They can't shut up about Red Demon's, though.”

_No Stardust?_

Yusei looked at the monitor again.

“What did he take it for, then?”

“Dunno. Maybe he didn't need it this time.”

“I don't think he plans on using it,” said Rally, not taking his eyes from the monitor. “It's not his.”

That would be the way the old Jack would behave. Yusei didn't know this guy. The worst thing about this new guy was that he looked just like his childhood friend, the one that he admired so much … the one that he still, despite everything, secretly …. He couldn't help himself. And this new jumpsuit didn't improve the situation.

He tore his eyes away and snorted. “If you're going to dwell on that guy, I'm taking a walk,” he stated, and strode out.

But he felt like a fraud.

He had left because he didn't want them to see how many regrets he had. His focus on Jack … it wasn't just about getting Stardust back.

What had happened to Jack? What had happened to their friendship?

He needed to know.

“I'm sorry, Yusei.” It was Rally, who had followed and was trotting at Yusei's side, looking up at him eagerly.

“It's not your fault. If I knew, I never would have let you hang out with him. The Jack I knew would never have done something like that. I don't know this Jack at all. I don't know what happened.” He kicked himself mentally for the thousandth time.

He'd known that Jack was angry with him, but he'd never imagined that he'd take it out on an innocent bystander like Rally. Jack had always been really decent toward innocent people and kids—particularly if they were interested in dueling. It was some sort of matter of honor with him.

“Don't worry,” Rally said brightly, “Jack's just borrowing the card and he's going to give it back one day and say he's sorry.” He frowned. “He probably just didn't have time to ask permission or something.”

Yusei looked at him incredulously. “I just don't understand you sometimes, Rally. How can you be so forgiving? You could have drowned.”

“Oh, he wouldn't have let that happen. We're friends. He said that it was something I could do for him. He knew you would save me, but if you wouldn't, he would have saved me.”

“You really believe that, don't you?”

Rally nodded.

“But he's out there and we're still stuck here in Satellite. Doesn't that bother you?”

“I'm OK. But you didn't see how sad he was. I hope he's made some friends.”

_Friends …?_

“Rally, do you mind? I don't like to talk about Jack so much.”

“Right. I'm sorry.” Rally took that to mean that Yusei wanted to be alone and took off back toward their digs.

It was a bit of a relief, but it gave Yusei a little too much opportunity to brood. Jack was supposed to be the one who needed his time alone, who liked to brood, but Yusei found himself doing that more and more. Was he such a follower that he couldn't stand it when his leaders were unavailable? Kiryu had turned out to be a terrible leader once their goal had been reached and now he was in jail or worse, and Jack … well, he'd just have to find a way to follow Jack and have it out with him. And then what?

Did he really want that to be the end of it with Jack?

His intellect said yes, but his emotions said no. He was better off on his own, he told himself, but then he flashed on Jack in that white jumpsuit. Jack had always favored white, even in Satellite, where it was almost impossible to keep clean. And there he was, covered from head to toe in white. Sexier than ever. More unreachable than ever.

_And my D-wheel not built yet!_

He wanted to jump on it and ride as far and as fast as the confines of Satellite would allow. He started walking faster, having to move somehow, but he couldn't seem to escape his racing thoughts.

He'd tried so hard to ignore the report, but it was so obvious that Jack was surrounded by layers of security, and clearly the head of Security, Godwin, was taking a personal interest in him. Yusei couldn't help but wonder just how personal that interest might be.

_Was Godwin …?_

Yusei tried to push the idea out of his mind, but the suspicion really bothered him. As angry as he was with Jack, the thought of Godwin pressuring Jack was …

Unbearable.

He tried to push the thought out of his mind as his steps took on an even faster cadence. He felt driven by this development. There was nothing he could do about anything happening in Neo Domino City. It was a couple of miles away, but it might as well be on the moon.

Then he was forced to stop.

He found himself at the deserted area near edge of of the bay looking where the unfinished bridge to Neo Domino City began and finally, finally allowed himself to yell as loudly as he possibly could across the gulf.

He might have been yelling words, but if he was, he couldn't make them out. He was so frustrated that he felt like he could keep on screaming until his voice gave out, but somehow he regained control of himself. What really hurt was that the frustration came as much from his need to be with Jack as it was to get back at Jack.

_Is this revenge, or is this … love?_

And, if it was love, was Jack the best person to be in love with? Probably not.

“Heh, heh. I bet you're thinking about Jack.”

Feeling the heat rise to his cheeks, Yusei reluctantly looked around to see Crow staring back at him with mischief in his eyes.

“Don't worry, Yusei, I've had moments like that myself.” He grinned and walked over to slap Yusei on the back.

_I should have known enough to look around for him_ , thought Yusei. Crow liked to come around to this spot to look at the bridge and dream big.

“I'm just glad I still haven't finished my D-wheel. He would've taken mine for sure,” Crow continued. “I may not be the engineer you are, Yusei, but mine's going to _fly!_ ”

Crow allowed Yusei to gather himself, then said, “So what is it this time, the title? C'mon, you knew it was just a matter of time. He's better than any of us, and—if you don't mind my saying so—we're good.”

“Well … _yeah_. It's not that he won, it's that he's there to win it.”

” … and we're not. Well, so what? You'll get your revenge, right? How far along are you to getting your D-wheel built?”

“Not far. At this rate, it's going to take a couple of years,” Yusei said glumly. And it had to be an even better D-wheel than the last one. But he didn't mention that to Crow.

“Aren't you over it, just a little bit?”

“Crow, you know what he did.”

“Yeah, but … it's Jack. You know how much he wanted to get out of here, and … he just has no way. Me, I'm going to build a bridge. But do you think he's going to wait around for that?”

“I guess not. But, Crow …”

“Go ahead, hold your grudge. I have better things to do.”

“It wasn't you, Crow.”

“Maybe if it were, I'd feel differently.”

“Maybe you would.”

“You know, Yusei, in all the duels during the championship, he didn't use Stardust Dragon once.” He folded his arms. “I don't think he means to.”

“Maybe you're right. Actually, Rally said pretty much the same thing. But, then why did he take it?”

The two stared at each other for a moment, not comprehending. Finally, Crow said, “I don't understand the whole thing anyway. I never would have pegged Jack as the kind of guy who would do this sort of thing in the first place.”

“All I can think is … he's not the guy I knew, not the guy I—” what, _fell in love with?_ He couldn't say that.

“What are you talking about?”

“He's just … changed, Crow. I don't get it.”

They stood staring at each other for a long moment. Then, finally Crow broke the silence. “Did you check out his D-wheel?”

“Yeah.”

“Well?”

At first, Yusei had no idea what Crow meant. Gradually, he realized that Crow was appealing to his instincts as an engineer, and said, “Ah. It's … a monowheel. It has a lot of special features and it's really interesting. I'd rate it lowish on safety. I think … it's particularly maneuverable. Probably difficult to handle—” _Just like its rider_ , he thought, grimly. “I've picked up a lot of ideas from it. But, you know, I don't think most of them would work … for me, or for most duelists.”

“Yeah, I guess it's one-of-a-kind.”

“Jack, too.”

_Damn him_.

**Chapter notes ...**

An anonymous review: “Interesting take on their duel“: glad you like it. I thought that the break-up of Team Satisfaction and the fallout (duel, Jack's departure, revenge duel) lent itself to a misunderstanding/jealousy interpretation. ... Which led to this whole giant opus ... Not long to go now ...


	27. In the Cross-Hairs

“Excuse me for interrupting, Atlas-sama.”

Mikage came to where Jack was seated on the couch in his penthouse apartment and leaned over to hand him a cup of coffee. _Does she know how much cleavage she's revealing?_ Jack wondered, slightly annoyed.

Coffee was a pleasure that was all but unknown in Satellite, and Jack liked to indulge in it to its fullest extent. Mikage was a distraction. She was pretty, and God knew she was willing—the crush she nursed for him was obvious enough—but the fact that she was hired to spy on him and report his every move sort of dampened any friendship that could possibly develop between them, let alone anything deeper. She reported directly to Godwin and Jack knew it.

_Had Godwin intended her as his geisha? If so, too bad._

It was insulting. Patronizing. Demeaning.

The fact that his young body insisted on responding to her charms—even if only slightly—despite his attempts at control, annoyed him even more. He frowned into his cup and waited for her to walk to her usual respectful distance. Fortunately, she knew enough not to try to make conversation—by now, at least. If Godwin insisted on having her as ever-present as the furniture, she had to satisfy herself with being treated like furniture. He saw no need to make small talk. But no amount of silence seemed to dampen her endless pleasure in his less-than-pleasant company.

Nothing he could do about it.

Mikage surprised him by saying, “Did you read the latest article about yourself in _Duel_?”

He glanced at the coffee table. The latest copy of _Duel_ was sitting on it, a beautiful cheesecake portrait of Jack gracing the cover along with the blurb, “Sexiest Duelist of This Year—Or Any!” He shrugged and picked it up.

He really didn't like reading these articles that much. Godwin insisted that he do press, but he controlled all the conditions and prevented Jack from speaking freely. Naturally, it was all to protect the Lie. As a citizen of Satellite, Jack wasn't legally allowed to walk around freely in Neo Domino City, so the Lie that he was born in Neo Domino City—but not just that, in Tops, yet—was created. But since no one knew him, the Lie was further embellished to explain away any questions.

He scanned the article. He didn't remember being interviewed for this one. Had Godwin had them submit written questions? Sometimes that happened, and often Godwin didn't even bother to show Jack what “he” had said. It was as he expected, gushing about how he was born in Tops to an affluent family and privately educated abroad. That explained why he hadn't been enrolled in the best duel school. There was some extensive speculation about whether not attending formal duel school actually made him a better duelist …

They continued with some discussion of their efforts to obtain a candid interview: “Mr Atlas is famous for his constant appearances at Neo Domino City's most prominent social events. One would assume that this would make him accessible, but after extensive interviews with those attending the events, we could find no one who had exchanged more than greetings with the Neo Domino City's newly-crowned King. His dates could not be located for interviews.”

_Dates_ , Jack thought derisively. _Undercover security, you mean_. Godwin wanted him to make these appearances, but God forbid he should talk to anyone. Jack was too … ignorant, too inexperienced. He held himself well, but he knew less than nothing about an operating city. After a few minutes it would become painfully obvious that he wasn't from Neo Domino City, wasn't privileged, wasn't anything more than just another Satellite castoff blown across the bay looking for scraps. The Lie must be protected.

After some build-up of the mystery surrounding this phenomenon, the article wrapped up with the most amusing speculation of all: “We can find no information about the Atlas family in Tops, which leads us to believe that the name _Jack Atlas_ is an alias. We believe that, for some reason, he is protecting his affluent family from unwanted publicity. Further, Jack Atlas is continually surrounded by Security, which is provided by KaibaCorp. It's said that the Kaiba family is no longer directly connected to KaibaCorp, but the it is known to be very protective of its privacy and its status for many years has been shrouded in mystery. Could it be that Jack Atlas is a scion of this legendary family?”

Jack snorted. _If only_. He tossed the magazine back onto the table carelessly. After taking the last sip out of his cup, he set it down (with greater care), then stood and walked to stare out the large, picture windows that lined the apartment.

The Lie was so frustrating. He wasn't ashamed in the least of his origin, but he had no desire to be hauled off to the Facility, branded, and thrown right back onto the garbage heap he'd given up so much to climb off of.

And yet … he spent hours standing at the window gazing at that self-same garbage heap.

Had he imagined he would make new friends in Neo Domino City?

He didn't suppose the thought had even crossed his mind in all those years in Satellite. Strange. All he had thought about was getting out. Dueling. Becoming King. Finally having the challenges worthy of a King. Friends had not been a priority.

His single-mindedness, his clarity about who he was, always seemed to set him apart from his peers. He never thought he minded it, especially with Yusei around. Yusei seemed to accept him for who he was … at least, until …

He cast the thought away. He didn't like to dwell on useless thoughts.

But …

As isolated as he had felt in Satellite, wasn't he even more isolated here? There were so many things about this world that he had no experience with. And Godwin completely insulated him with impenetrable layers of security.

His world had shrunk from an island to an apartment and a duel track.

Hadn't he left to be free? What had happened? He had won. He was the King.

Bitterness was for losers.

So why …?

He'd won. Why did he feel like this?

He wanted to turn away, stop staring at Satellite, but he couldn't seem to tear himself away.

He felt like he was waiting … Just like …

Once he made a terrible sacrifice, followed by a treacherous, untested journey through a long tunnel. At the other end, he sat on Yusei's D-wheel impatiently, waiting for Godwin. Waiting for his new life to begin.

Godwin had appeared in a helicopter to pick up both Jack and the D-wheel. On the flight, Jack took Stardust Dragon from his deck and tried to hand it to Godwin.

Godwin refused it, saying, “Keep it.”

“You're the one who wanted it.”

“All the same.”

“What do you expect me to do with it?”

“You're the duelist.”

“It's not mine. I don't use cards that aren't mine, Godwin.”

“Whatever. Do as you like.”

“And if I decided to tear it up?”

Godwin smiled. “If that's your wish.”

Jack frowned. There was no way he was going to show such a fine card such disrespect. Besides … wasn't it …

_Yusei's soul card._

Yusei never talked about it that way, no, he was too literal and grounded, but … it was a Wind card, it shined like stars. Funny, it reminded him of Yusei even though … even though it seemed to be in many ways so different. Yusei was so dependable and tied to his friends, so dark and serious, while the dragon was so bright and free. It was like Yusei's other, hidden side. He shrugged and put the card away.

After that, he'd tried to avoid taking it out to look at it, especially with Mikage looking on, but …

Every so often, when he was feeling particularly lonely—when Mikage was out and he thought he might be away from the surveillance cameras that surely must be planted around (Godwin had a way of making one paranoid)—he took it out.

_Yusei …_

He continued to gaze over the water.

Mikage, no doubt, thought he was a King observing his realm. In a way, that's just what he was. He had won the championship easily. Who knew that duelists in Neo Domino City were so far behind mere duel gangs in Satellite? Maybe having to make do with cast-offs actually made one stronger? Yet, somehow he'd hoped that the challenges would be more … challenging. Climbing to the top, knocking the idols from their thrones, was so much fun. Defending was the difficult responsibility of the King, and here he was, already: seeking his entertainment in toying with his prey, courting disaster to test his mettle.

More and more he found himself belittling and insulting his challengers, trying to goad them into giving him some kind of competition, to bring out their best game. He didn't feel good about it, but he felt driven to force them to fight if they couldn't find the spirit within themselves.

He needed to feel that his position as King was merited, that the laurels that were heaped upon him were earned.

Strange to have left his best competition behind him already.

Jack ignored the doubts that whispered in the back of his mind and decided that it was satisfying to be the one standing in Neo Domino City, knowing they were standing in garbage back in Satellite.

_You and Crow, building your D-wheels, leaving me out of it. What did you think? You were going to tool around Satellite on them, dueling each other? What's a D-wheel for, anyway, if not a way out?_

I _was the leader, the one you always followed around as kids … and yet …_

_You were going to leave me behind._

_When I was the one who needed to get out the most._

And he _had_ gotten out: for the small price of a D-wheel and a card … all his friends and all his honor … everything he had and everything he was.

_Still … you were going to leave me behind._

That's what hurt the most.

_Or was it?_

He looked across the water, wondering what Yusei was doing, wondering if he ever thought about Jack. No doubt he was hard at work, replacing his D-wheel.

Or maybe he was on the other side of the water right now, staring back.

Jack suppressed a shiver.

And Jack had taken a piece of him when he left. It was Godwin's idea, but now Jack was glad. Was Yusei angry? Did he hunger for revenge?

_Good._


	28. Satisfaction

The first day at sea, the Scarlet Queen entered yet another bank of dense fog and Jack disappeared into it.

Yusei, now used to spending more time with Jack, found himself yearning for his friend's company.

_By now, you'd think I would be used to his solitary habits._

But that was before Nazca, wasn't it?

Yusei had spent time in their cabin pretending to read, then he hung out in engineering for a while, then he walked the decks, wondering if Jack was elsewhere on the ship doing the same.

He cursed the fog. He could have passed within inches of Jack any number of times without even seeing him. Even worse, it seemed to him that he ought to be able to sense Jack's presence and home in on him, yet the fog seemed to obscure even that.

After wandering the ship aimlessly for some time, he forced himself to stop randomly by the railing.

“Hello, Yusei.”

“Jack?”

“You sound surprised. Weren't you looking for me?”

“Well,” he didn't want Jack to know how long he had been looking for him, so he said, “I thought I'd see if you were on deck, but I thought I'd missed you somehow. I couldn't see you at all. Maybe it's because you always wear white.”

Jack said nothing, but stared out into the fog.

After some minutes, Yusei asked, “Can you actually see something out there?”

“Not right now, but I'm always looking.”

At that moment, the statement sounded so heartbreakingly like Jack, Yusei wanted to cry … or to kiss him.

_It's now or never._

His whole body trembled at the thought as he wondered if it were true.

Jack looked over at him with concern. “Perhaps you should go back to the cabin,” he said. “It's cold and wet out.”

“That's not it,” Yusei said, trying to think how to broach the subject. He sighed. “I know you don't want to talk about Nazca—”

“Yusei, please. Let's move on. We have Yliaster to prepare for—”

“Wait. Jack, just wait one minute. We have plenty of time to prepare, and we can't fully prepare before we meet with Crow anyway, so … relax. I know you don't want to dwell on the past and I've been dredging things up far too often lately. I apologize. But this just happened. It has to be said.”

“Get it out then so we can move on, already.”

“Why do you want to pretend that Nazca didn't happen?”

“Why do you want to make a big deal of it?”

“Jack, it _is_ a big deal! Do you think that achieving Clear Mind wasn't a big deal for me? I worked on it for weeks. I put everything I had into it. I'm not minimizing that and I don't think you should do that with your achievement.”

“Mine didn't take that kind of effort, Yusei, it was my … flaw … that drew me there. I nearly got you killed. I nearly got Bommer and his brother killed. That part … it's really nothing to be proud of.”

“Jack …” Yusei's hand tingled, wanting to touch Jack, his hand, his shoulder, his cheek, but Yusei remained motionless, afraid to even look toward Jack. “Don't minimize it. It might not have taken as long, but you put just as much of yourself into it. You didn't mean to risk anyone but yourself.”

“I was reckless. I always am. Isn't that true?”

“You always believe in yourself and your ability to triumph, no matter the circumstances. You always keep striving, no matter how impossible the odds. You have more courage than anyone I know. You didn't let them hurt us, Jack. That's what matters.”

“Yusei, you know I listened to my ambition. You know I always will.”

_One day, I'm going to leave. You know that._

It hurt, but it was part of who he was. That ambition was part of the inferno inside of him.

“If you weren't ambitious, Jack, you'd be useless to 5D's and you know it. So don't beat yourself up. Concentrate on this. If you listened to your ambition, you also listened to your heart. Your soul. You have the power to protect the things that are important to you. It's not the mistakes you make, but your ability to recover from them. Your ability to learn from them.”

“Tch.” Jack cast a rueful glance side-long toward him. “By that measure, I should soon be the wisest man in Neo Domino City.”

Yusei chuckled. “You have been knocked around a bit lately, haven't you? What I really admire about you is how you refuse to lie down. Like the duel against Team Unicorn.”

“I want to forget that one if I can.”

“Everyone's talking about your courage and persistence.”

“I'd rather they talked about my victory and dueling skills.”

“Just be patient, Jack,” he smiled slightly. “With this new card of yours …” His expression grew serious. “But mostly, it's your spirit. Your Burning Soul.”

“Oh. Is that what you're getting at?”

“In my own way.”

Just enough color came to Jack's cheeks to be visible through the fog. “I just … just _refuse_ to lose you to that—that—”

_Earthbound Immortal._

“And you didn't.” He smiled. “Don't you see, Jack? Despite all you've been through, you still have amazingly devoted fans who believe in you no matter what. It's be—because you have something—”

Jack put up a hand, looking extremely uncomfortable. He looked very seriously into Yusei's eyes and said, “No, you don't need to say this, believe me. You'll be sorry.”

_He couldn't actually know what I'm going to say, could he? Nah, he must just think I'm going to say something gooey and emotional._

“No, Jack, I've thought about it for a long time now, and I have to.”

“No. Yusei, no. You say it, and there's no taking it back. There are some things that … just …”

“You can't climb on your D-wheel and take off now. What are you going to do?”

Jack turned on his heel and strode off without a further word.

Yusei stared after him a moment. _Typical Jack—didn't want to confront an emotional moment. Well, this time I won't let you get away with it, Jack. If I emulate you, I'll be courageous. I'll go on the offensive. I'll see exactly what your defenses are by smashing right through them._ He grinned. _And I know just the approach you'll understand. The one that will get your attention is—_

Yusei ran over the wet deck, reaching Jack before he could react. His glove grazed Jack's shoulder, making just enough contact to grab a handful of jacket collar and pull him around. As Jack turned, Yusei smacked him soundly under the chin with an effective uppercut.

The deck was more than slick enough to take Jack's feet out from under him with the impact. Falling backward, he kicked out ungracefully, taking his attacker down with him. Jack hit heavily, buttocks and palms on the hard, wet metal surface.

“What the hell was that for?”

“To get your attention … _Jack!_ ”

Yusei, having collapsed forward onto Jack's legs, followed up on his advantage by backing up enough to lean with both hands on Jack's thighs, while he knelt on Jack's ankles.

Jack leaned forward far enough to give Yusei a dangerous look. Yusei could swear he could see an odd red glow deep in those violet eyes of his that he found more than a little disturbing. “Objective achieved. Are you going to let me up now, or am I going to pound you into this deck?”

Jack's expression and his choice of words combined to make Yusei feel slightly giddy, so that he wanted badly to blurt out, “ _Oh, God, Jack, yes!_ ” But instead, he forced himself to hold his ground. “I need you to listen to me. You always seem to stalk off when things get personal, you know that?”

“Most personal shit _is_ shit, Yusei. Did we resolve anything by dredging up the past the other day? I think not. You might have enjoyed it, but …” He scowled. He never wanted to think about that again, let alone talk about it.

“No, Jack, I'm glad I brought it up. I needed to know how you felt. I—I should have tried to see things from your side. But Jack,” Yusei continued, “I've thought about it and I can't let it go.”

“Yusei …”

“No. What you did in Nazca showed us—showed _me—_ who you really are …” Yusei leaned in further. He couldn't help himself. “ _That's_ what draws people to you: your burning soul. You've always been that way. I—you just brought it home to me.”

It was clear that Jack didn't want to pursue this line of conversation. He could easily dislodge Yusei if he really wanted to given his superior size and strength, but he seemed reluctant to lay his hands on Yusei. No doubt kicking him off offended his sensibilities both as a friend and as the King. Instead, he simply pulled back and protested weakly, his expression pained, “Don't—”

Yusei plowed on, determined to get through his confession. Feeling bolder, he crawled further up, pinning Jack's thighs with his legs and pressing Jack's shoulders down with his hands so that he could get a good look at Jack's face. “I had thought I was over it. After … after you left like you did. What you to me—to my friends—but more than that, what you did to yourself. But now—seeing the way you are now—I don't know if this is even an option for you—but I need you to know how I feel. I love you, Jack.” Afraid to look, he closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against Jack's chest. He took a breath, then rushed on, trying to finish before Jack could respond. “More than that, I'm in love _with_ you. I _want_ you … _need_ you. Do you understand me?”

Jack lay stiffly beneath Yusei on the cold, wet deck as he listened. After Yusei finished, there were a few moments' silence in which Yusei tried to keep a growing feeling of panic in check. “Aren't you going to say anything?” he asked.

Finally, Jack let out a peal of laughter that sounded almost hysterical.

“You … Ha. After all this time.” Jack seized Yusei's wrists and struggled to dislodge him. But Yusei slipped Jack's grip and wrapped his arms around his waist so that he couldn't be thrown off. “When we were growing up together—”

“I know, I know, we talked about girls. I was … am … interested … but you …” At last he pushed up and looked at Jack's face searchingly, trying to will him to understand. “I guess I'm bisexual. But you're the one, Jack. I'm … obsessed. You're the only one who can make me feel like this.”

He let Jack go and sat on the deck next to him.

“Aki?” Jack said, sitting up.

“Aki … needed me. Now that she doesn't need me as much …” he shrugged.

Jack closed his eyes and asked, softly, “And Kiryu?”

_Kiryu?_

“What the …? You think that there was something between Kiryu and me?”

“It's the way …” Jack shrugged, his face filled with agony.

Yusei looked up at Jack in disbelief. He had no inkling that Jack felt anything like this. He pushed Jack up against the railing and wrapped his arms around him again. “Of course not. It's just … friendship. That, and guilt. He's my biggest mistake. You were right, I couldn't save him. Back then. I don't know why.”

“Are you always going to blame yourself for your friends' decisions?”

A couple of tears ran down his cheeks as he laughed. “Probably.” He pressed his face into Jack's chest.

Again, he was stunned as Jack violently shoved him away. “ _Don't!_ ” His hands were balled into fists, his eyes closed as he calmed down. Finally he relaxed, opened his eyes and said, “I … I can't do this.”

Yusei moved forward and gingerly took Jack's hand. “I'm not getting you. Is it that …” A wave of realization swept over him. “It's that you're heterosexual, isn't it?”

But Yusei was confused. Why were they talking about all these things? Jack could have just said so.

Jack looked at Yusei as though that was the last question he expected to hear. “Yes—no, it's … but I … you …” he trailed off, unable put it into words.

“Then … you aren't interested in me that way. I understand. We're friends.”

“Stop. _Damn it, Yusei!_ ” Jack seized Yusei by his shoulders and shook him. “We've been over this before, and I didn't like the way it turned out. I don't want to go through this all over again! Don't make promises you aren't going to keep!”

“What are you talking about?”

Jack sighed, letting Yusei go and standing. “I can't hold you responsible because you don't remember, but … I still …” He looked at Yusei helplessly.

“What do you mean, I don't remember? Was it something from our childhood? Or …?” He frowned as he stood to face Jack. Was there something about Team Satisfaction?

Jack looked exasperated and defeated. “The sake.”

Yusei felt as though he had suddenly fallen a thousand feet. He reached for Jack to steady himself only to find that he was walking away into the fog yet again. But Yusei wasn't having it. He lunged after Jack, grabbing a handful of jacket, then hooked two fingers of his other hand beneath his dog collar, halting him in his tracks.

“Careful, there! You could injure a man!” Jack protested, bending and twisting against the pressure, then removing Yusei's hand carefully.

Yusei took the opportunity to grab Jack's wrist.

“I vaguely remember the morning after the celebration, you wanted to talk about something that we discussed that night, but you wouldn't say what it was. It bothered me that you weren't willing to talk about it, but I figured eventually the subject would come up again. Well, apparently it has.”

“You sure take your time getting around to it, Yusei. If you're always like this, I don't know if I can take it.”

“Oh, you're going to take it and like it,” Yusei said. Now he was beginning to get angry. “Why didn't you ever say anything?”

Jack yanked his hand away. “Look, I wasn't even sure I wanted to try it. That was the first time I'd ever thought about such a possibility. But you brought it up and … the more I thought about it …”

“What?”

At first Yusei thought Jack wouldn't answer, then, “But you said you—”

“Yes?”

“It's all past now. It's not important.”

“Come on, Jack, out with it. Do I have to beat it out of you?”

“As if.”

Yusei looked into Jack's face, but he looked completely adamant. What had happened? It was like—wait, were promises made? On the other hand, where did Jack get off withholding this information, anyway? This conversation took place between the two of them, and it was apparently important to the two of them. It was— _crap_ , he wasn't Carly.

“Jack, this isn't something I'm better off not knowing. I know how I feel. I feel the same way as I did then, only … well, now we've both got regrets. Let's set those aside for a minute, OK? Don't I deserve to know?”

Jack's breath hitched and he closed his eyes for a moment. “I guess you do. I-I'm sorry. You were drunk, Yusei. I guess … I guess I thought if you weren't willing to say it sober … Yusei, you said you were in love with me … I mean, in the same way that girls were. You made it pretty clear. Sort of like … just now.” The color on Jack's cheeks was quite pronounced now, and quite alluring.

“You said promises were made?”

“I … I didn't know what to think. It was … a shock. But I was … OK with—with experimenting. It was … weird. It still feels a little weird, frankly, Yusei, but …” he trailed off, looking at Yusei obliquely, with acute embarrassment that made him look even more … sexy, somehow. Yusei gripped the railing behind him, trying not to move in any way as he waited for Jack to continue. “Uh, we kind of made a pact. We were a unit. You were concerned that if something went wrong, something would happen to our friendship. And I … We were about to conquer Satellite. I didn't know what I would do—”

All at once everything—Jack's remoteness, his betrayal, the built-up tension between the two of them—became perfectly clear.

“Oh, God! Jack, I—”

“I don't want to hear it. I didn't want to bring this up at all, but you can't seem to get enough.”

“But Ja—”

Jack wasn't having it. The need to silence any apologies apparently overwhelmed any restraint, causing him to pounce on Yusei. He grasped him behind the head with one large hand, his fingers tangled deep in his hair, his other sliding along Yusei's jaw, tipping his head back just a little, Jack's open mouth covering Yusei's in a deep kiss.

* * *

Jack's sudden kiss immediately rendered Yusei's protestation into a moan. He'd never been kissed like this before. How had Jack learned this? Or had it come from another life? Yusei unconsciously gripped Jack's blond curls as he felt Jack's lips move against his own, kissing him so deeply that their tongues met without forceful intrusion. It felt as though they were truly connected. Yusei's other hand found its way around Jack's chest to his back. As he enjoyed the depth of Jack's torso, feeling the beating of his heart, Jack's hand moved slowly from his jaw down his neck, then to his side, coming finally to rest on his waist, gently pulling his hips up toward Jack's own. He groaned again with the pleasure of it, feeling Jack pressed hard against him.

He pulled away reluctantly, panting. “J-Jack, do you—do you mean this?”

“Of course I do. Don't you dare think of backing out now.” He punctuated this with another searing kiss, almost crushing Yusei in a possessive embrace.

They broke apart, panting lightly. Yusei drank in the sight of Jack, trying to memorize everything about him.

“What?”

“You … You're so …” Jack was so conceited, how could Yusei tell him what he was thinking, that he thought Jack was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen, that this moment felt like a miracle?

“No, Yusei. I've found someone worthy. I promise you, I'll prove myself worthy of you.”

“Jack …”

“Shh.” Now Jack's lips explored Yusei's neck, from collarbone to jawline, his earlobe. Meanwhile, his hands began their own expedition, slipping beneath his jacket and running over his T-shirt, which now seemed all-too-thin.

“We have to go back to our cabin. _Now_. We can't count on this fog holding … and …”

“You're right,” Jack said. Yusei grabbed Jack by the hand and fairly dragged him to their cabin. “I really don't want to take this …” Jack said, shrugging and motioning. He clearly wanted to take it slowly.

“I … I don't know if I can,” Yusei said. “I've …”

_I've waited so long … I've needed you so much._

“But, Yusei, I—I'm not sure how to …” _What, do this with a man?_ Yusei suppressed a smile.

“Don't worry, I haven't done that either. We'll experiment.”

He gently pulled Jack to the bed and sat down next to him. Jack had said he wanted to go slowly, but his body said otherwise.

“I won't hurt you,” Jack said.

“I won't let you. I promise.”

“Then … we'll only …”

“I promise, Jack.”

Yusei sealed it with a kiss and all-too-slowly Jack relaxed and allowed his new lover to undress him, lingering over every muscle.

* * *

Later, Yusei lay next to Jack, watching him breathe.

He was tempted to initiate another connection, but—aside from not wanting to disturb Jack's repose—he realized that the impulse stemmed more from wanting to be close as possible to Jack rather than a need to slake his carnal desire.

Jack was on his side, turned away, Yusei's arms loosely wrapped around his waist. Yusei vaguely wished he could see Jack's expression, but he let the urge pass and the happy warmth of the moment sink in. The smooth warmth of Jack's skin, the slow rhythm of his breathing. He noticed a long, silvery tracing of an old scar on Jack's back right before his face and wondered when that had happened. It was barely noticeable and he'd have to be inches from Jack's back to see it. He smiled, thinking how few people would be granted such a privilege.

“Now, _this_ is what I call satisfaction,” he said.

Jack chuckled: a warm, musical sound. “Don't worry,” he said sleepily, “it won't last.”

* * *

Yusei awoke to the welcome sensation of Jack pressed against his back, his arm draped over Yusei's waist. He felt something against his buttocks, but was aware that Jack could be asleep. Yusei felt his body immediately respond to the contact and wondered whether he'd ever stop feeling this rush.

He closed his eyes, thinking back. That little bit of awkwardness—

_Do you think I'm just going to throw it around lightly?_

Could he … surely not … that was just insane … but still …

With all those girls after him, could he still somehow have been … a virgin? After all this time?

Surely not.

It was probably just his inexperience with men … and … his …

But this morning, Yusei wanted—no, he needed—Jack to initiate things. He needed the reassurance of it. Sure, they had … but Jack hadn't been quite as … ravenous as Yusei, had he? Who would have known that Jack would be such a considerate lover? He wondered if Jack was awake. He wriggled his rear ever so slightly.

Jack stirred, sighing softly. So he _had_ been asleep. “Yusei … you awake?” Jack breathed, so low that he could barely hear it. Yusei closed his eyes, savoring the sensation of desire and anticipation.

“Uh-huh.”

Jack took this as permission to begin kissing the back of Yusei's neck as his hands explored his sides from chest to waist. “Mm—do you—mm—want to experiment a little more—mm—this morning?”

Yusei's eyes rolled back and his lids fluttered from the sensation. “I think … I'd like that,” he said, rolling over to take Jack's mouth in a consuming kiss.

 _Someday he'll beat me again_ , Yusei thought.

_Someday he'll leave._

_But not today._

_~ fin ~_

**Chapter notes ...**

I hope that you didn't find the ending lame after all the waiting! This dénouement replaces another that was (I think) rather cute and humorous, but didn't quite meet the rating standards for T, and I wanted to keep it within the standard. Plus, not sure I want to go there, publicly at least. I apologize for that. (Had I retained that bit, I probably would have split this into two chapters.) Not sure why I'm even admitting this except for fear that the ending is falling flat somehow.

_Is Jack a virgin?_ I leave that to you. (In this story, mind you:) He's had enough girls throwing themselves at him, but during his time with Godwin, his opportunities were limited. In Satellite, he had plenty of opportunities, but he seems rather fussy about partner choice. I leave it to you whether sex drive trumps fussiness or not. I'm sure the romantic in Yusei would like to believe the answer is _Yes_. [Note: after this was first published, I received a message to the effect that virgin Jack was now part of a reader's head canon. Very flattering.]

I hope you don't find that last little bit to be a downer ( _Someday he'll leave_ ), but Yusei is a realist—plus it gives the story another little cycle and I'm a sucker for that sort of symmetry. If you don't like it, pretend that the story ended at the previous break “... it won't last,” which was my other choice for an ending point. (I probably should have dispensed with one or the other, but I liked both too much and left both in.) Leaving it that way is part of the reason I was inspired to write a sequel that allows them more togetherness. (I'm no monster!) [Deleted some of the original notes about the status of the sequel and then-current projects.]

Eh, well, I probably wrote too much about the process there and you're probably not interested. Ah, well!

I hope that you enjoyed this story and are interested in checking out the sequel!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story! If you have any reactions or thoughts (or constructive criticism), I hope you will leave a comment. Thanks in advance.
> 
> The sequel to this story, _Where There's Fire_ , will also be re-posted to this site. [I will begin posting in the next little while.]
> 
> Preview for Where There's Fire:
> 
>  _"And I don't want to live a lie … I did it before and I never …_ never … _want to do it again." He put his gloved hand behind Yusei's head to ensure that cobalt blue met violet. "You don't know what you're asking."_
> 
> _"I'm not asking you to lie. I'm asking you to wait. For Crow."_
> 
> Reading between the lines from here all the way to the end of the series.


End file.
